TOGETHER WITH

Miss me?

You probably didn’t get yesterday’s email. My bad. I made some back-end email domain updates over the weekend… which went about as well as Astronomer’s mandatory sexual harassment training.

Your Monday email is somewhere in the ether, but if you want to check out what you missed, you can always read it online.

Enjoy the next 4 minutes and 23 seconds of blue-chip news and commentary.

Keep on snapping necks and cashing checks,

– tyler

PS, loving The Water Coolest? Forward it to someone who drinks prebiotic soda unironically. If you CC me ([email protected]), I’ll send you both something.

PPS, did someone with great taste (who knows you like prebiotic soda) forward this to you? Subscribe here.

Men will literally chase tendies via the latest meme stock instead of going to therapy…

At one point yesterday, shares of Opendoor $OPEN ( ▲ 9.78% ) were up more than 120%. That is, until the stock was halted for volatility… and shares lost 30% of their value in the final hour of trading. 2021 called and wants its meme stock volatility back…

In case you've been busy keeping tabs on those heavy-petting horn dog execs over the past few days, Monday was the sixth day in a row of girthy gainz for OPEN. Shares of the real estate i-buying platform are up more than 250% in the past week alone, driven largely by options trading.

Story time…

Early last week, degens went all “let our powers combine” after anointing the new Roaring Kitty. Opendoor’s patient zero appears to be activist investor Eric Jackson, the founder of EMJ Capital.

E’s Twitter posts talking his book (read: Opendoor) last week resonated with the retail crowd. To be fair, there are worse people to take investing advice from (like, say, an anonymous Reddit user who wears a red bandana and works at Mass Mutual…).

Eric has become something of a legend. This dude has more conviction than Cathie Wood after hearing Elon is sleeping at the factory again. EMJ bought the f*cking dip on Carvana and cashed out near all-time highs. Rumor has it the “M” stands “Moon”…

And now Eric smells a similar turnaround brewing at Opendoor. To which WallStreetBets and StockTwits users replied, “say no more, fam…”

Same, same but different…

Despite being an absolutely dog-sh*t company by nearly every metric (see: the i-buying market drying up quicker than your girl when you tell her you invest in meme stocks), there’s at least one major difference between Opendoor and GameStop circa 2021: short interest (as a % of float).

You see, during the memestock madness, short interest topped 140% on GME (sup, Melvin Capital). Meanwhile, only about 20% (for the record, still a sh*t ton) of OPEN’s outstanding shares are shorted. In case you haven’t taken the Jordan Belfort Capital Markets Seminar down at the local Holiday Inn, that means a short squeeze as epic as 2021 is unlikely.

But, have no fear, my fellow smooth brains, a gamma squeeze is still on the table thanks to that thicc options volume.

Godspeed.

There’s a modern-day gold rush happening. But instead of gold, it’s cobalt, nickel, and other metals powering EVs, drones, and anything else with a lithium-ion battery.

Formation Metals Inc. (ticker: FOMO... yes, really) is positioning itself as the plug-and-play solution to America’s battery metal addiction. While the rest of the world’s supply chains are tangled in geopolitics and questionable labor practices, Formation’s got boots on the ground in North America.

Here’s why you might want to pay attention to FOMO:

Ready to check out the future of domestic electrification?

Ad disclaimer below*

+ Want to signal to the world that you settle (for Pepsi) AND buy into pseudoscience?

Well, you’re in luck, because the company that discredited the janitor who invented Flamin Hot Cheetos is dropping a prebiotic version of Pepsi $PEP ( ▼ 0.69% ). Even though no one asked. The 30 calorie sodas will have 3g of prebiotic fiber… and as soon as I find out what in the actual f*ck that means, I promise to share.

And to answer your next question, yes, they just bought a prebiotic soda company. Earlier in 2025 Pepsi spent nearly $2B on Poppi…

+ “Buy the f*cking rip.” - Trump Media’s investing philosophy

With everything going on in the world (mostly the Coldplay Kiss Cam), it’s easy to forget Trump Media $DJT ( ▼ 0.41% ) said it was going to become a Bitcoin treasury company. Yesterday, DJT said it fulfilled its promise and bought $2B in bitcoin… just below its ATH.

+ Nothing says “Tesla $TSLA ( ▲ 1.22% ) earnings are about to be hot garbage” quite like Elon saying he’s sleeping on the floor of the office again.

In the wee hours of Sunday, Tesla’s CEO tweeted: “Back to working 7 days a week and sleeping in the office if my little kids are away” (side note: early father of the year candidate?). TSLA reports later this week.

+ The “smart money” thinks knows there’s a 100% chance Polymarket returns to the US.

Polymarket is making its triumphant return to the land of the free and the home of the sportsbooks disguised as regulated prediction markets. Just a few weeks after the CFTC dropped its cases against Polymarket, the marketplace re-entered the US market via an acquisition.

It spent $112M on a derivatives exchange and clearinghouse you probably never heard of (read: QCX). QCX literally just got the green light earlier this month from the CFTC to begin slinging derivatives after three years of fighting the good fight (read: waiting for the administration to change).

+ It appears the folks at Microsoft $MSFT ( ▼ 0.92% ) who are responsible for Bing and Outlook Calendar reminders have been put in charge of SharePoint security. MSFT reported an active cyberattack on its SharePoint collaboration software. And, tbh, this is what you get for still using SharePoint.

+ “Talk about a hole in one…”

Subway, which was recently acquired by Roark Capital for $9.6B (or approximately 1.92B $5 Footlongs) announced former BK Lounge exec Jonathan Fitzpatrick was stepping into its vacant CEO role. Think he gets one of those free Subway for life cards?

+ US stocks “closed mixed on Monday, but the Nasdaq Composite and S&P 500 managed to notch fresh records. Wall Street began a busy week of Big Tech-highlighted earnings and eyed the continued risks around President Trump's tariffs.” (Yahoo! Finance)

+ The 10-year yield was “lower on Monday as investors weighed the state of the U.S. economy and considered the latest trade developments.” (CNBC)

+ Oil “settled slightly lower on Monday as the latest European sanctions on Russian oil were expected to have minimal impact on supplies, but losses were curbed by investors weighing a potential drop in diesel supplies.” (Reuters)

+ The “smart” money thinks there’s a 50% chance bitcoin hits $150k before 2026. (Kalshi)

⏪ Yesterday…

+ Verizon and Domino’s reported before the bell

+ NXP Semiconductors reported after hours

⏩ Today we’re keeping an eye on…

+ Coca-Cola, Lockheed Martin, Raytheon Technologies, MSCI, General Motors, Philip Morris, DR Horton, Danaher, Northrop Grumman, Sherwin-Williams, and Halliburton report this AM

+ Intuitive Surgical, Texas Instruments, SAP, Enphase Energy, Capital One, Chubb, Canadian National Railway, and Cal-Maine Foods report after the bell

+ J-Poww gives welcome remarks before at the "Integrated Review of the Capital Framework for Large Banks Conference"… which sounds more made up than all those expenses at the Fed’s new HQ

Friday, I asked, “Is it ever a good idea to date someone at work?”

55.0% of you said “NO. Never.“

Here’s what some of you guys had to say…

Here’s today’s question…

I don’t know which one of you needs to hear this, but…

Oh, and one more thing…

Sent from my Amazon Fire Phone. Please excuse any mistakes and typos.

Does this look like the face of a guy you should take financial advice from?

No, it’s the face of an individual who is financially irresponsible/dumb enough to be talked into spending money on a family photo shoot that he could have just done with his iPhone. So, act accordingly...

This is not financial advice. Nothing in this newsletter is an investment recommendation. All content is created for entertainment, educational, or informational purposes only. Do your own research, or do yourself a favor and hire a professional.

*Advertiser Disclaimer

This content was produced on behalf of Formation Metals Inc. (FOMO) and sponsored by the company. The influencer was compensated $1,000 by Research Stock Digest to create this content. This is not financial advice, and viewers are encouraged to consult a financial professional before making investment decisions. Investing in companies involves significant risks, and past performance does not guarantee future results. Please do your own research.