One daily email. Four-ish minutes. 100% not for everyone.
“Somehow snarky, slightly offensive… and smart — in that order.”
- c******[email protected], satisfied reader since 2018
Unfiltered coverage of markets, multinationals, & the main characters that run the show. And what it all means for the rest of us.
You’ve definitely wasted clicks on worse.
But, FYI, The Water Coolest is not for everyone …
This email is not for you if…
You take yourself too seriously, need trigger warnings before insults are hurled at billionaires, dislike pop culture references, and/or get butt hurt about coarse language.
If you prefer missionary news, may I suggest The Morning Brew? For everyone else, welcome home. Join the email for the rest of us.
But don’t take my word for it…
“Best toilet read I’ve ever had. It’s like Family Guy’s interpretation of the WSJ.” - Shaan T., Reader since 2025
“A quick financial landscape update that doesn’t take itself too seriously.” - Casey A., Reader since 2019
This is not financial advice. Nothing in this email is investment advice. It’s for entertainment, education, and general sh*t-talking purposes only.
Still here? Go touch grass.
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