TOGETHER WITH
Hey there weekday warrior,
Here’s what’s on tap today… US jobs are so d*mn back (kind of), Elon and Donny are doing a reunion tour in China, and Iran went all “no deal.”
Enjoy the next 3 minutes and 48 seconds of blue-chip news and commentary.
Keep on snapping necks and cashing checks,
PS… in case you missed the update, we are making some moves this Summer. Expect twice-weekly TWC for a bit.
PPS… thanks in advance for doing your part in keeping TWC free and independent (read: clicking and checking out our advertising partners daily).
Get a job
Bad news for your unemployed friend…
The US is back on our bullsh*t (think: creating jobs despite mass technology displacement).
April’s jobs report hit Friday, and the result was not too, too bad…
Matter of fact, if you trust BLS, employers added 115k jobs, double expectations (because, math).
Meanwhile, funemployment stayed steady at 4.3% (…of people who are probably happier than you).
Healthcare added 37k jobs, and transportation and warehouses put up another 30k. Meanwhile, federal employment dropped another 9k jobs in April. DOGE didn’t hear no bell.
“So we’re all feeling better, right? Right?
Nope. Turns out these mooning gas prices have consumer sentiment at a new low. Per the University of M*chigan (we don’t forget), the Survey of Consumers posted a 48.2, down 3.2% from April’s already godawful results.
Why? Survey says… inflation, gas prices, tariffs, etc., have consumers shook.
Speaking of inflation, all eyes are on today's April CPI drop. Expectations are for a pretty, pretty bad annual rate (guesstimate: 3.8%).
Oh, and this probably doesn’t help consumer sentiment either…
Tech layoffs szn is still in full swing. Cloudflare $NET ( ▼ 3.48% ) announced a 20% workforce cut on Thursday (spoiler: 1.1k people) to keep up with the times. It’s the first time Cloudflare’s done a mass layoff in its 16-year history…
And yeah, it’s exactly why you think (AI).
GM $GM ( ▲ 1.53% ) got in on the fun cuts yesterday, too. The OG automaker is dropping ~600 employees in IT, which has to be AI too, right?
Did someone say “short squeeze?”
If you are the kind of person looking to capture generational wealth for yourself, and you missed the last short squeeze, GLND is worth a look… much like this helluva view.
We’re talking about a reported borrow rate north of ~827% on the available shares…
For the uninitiated, you only see a number like that when shorts are paying through the nose to bet against a name with basically no supply (think: Gamestonk memories).
So what is the company behind the ticker?
Greenland Energy Company holds the rights to earn up to a 70% working interest across the entire 2 million+ acre Jameson Land Basin. And even though you can’t pick that out on a map (admit it), it’s huge.
They’ve got 58 prospects mapped by Sproule ERCE, with a potential upside of up to ~13 billion barrels of recoverable oil, which, nice.
GLND is planning its first drilling campaign for this year, and Halliburton (heard of them?), IPT Well Solutions, and Stampede Drilling are already engaged.
Time to squeeze? Give this a look and see if it fits into your portfolio (hint: it should).
This is a paid advertisement by Greenland Energy Company.*
+ Them: “The New World Order isn’t real, it can’t hurt you.”
Also them: *does this*
A yuge group of tech and finance CEOs will figuratively (because, private jets) hop onboard Air Force One with Donny Diplomacy to travel to the People’s Republic for negotiations with Winnie the Pooh Xi Jinping.
We’re talking about a Dream Team of big swingin’ d*cks… think: Tim Apple $AAPL ( ▲ 0.72% ), Meta’s $META ( ▲ 0.69% ) Dina Powell McCormick, BlackRock’s $BLK ( ▲ 1.03% ) Larry Fink, Boeing’s $BA ( ▼ 0.56% ) Kelly Ortberg, and… *checks notes* ex-VP Elon Musk…
“Elon? The international diplomat?”
That’s right, turns out the boys are back together after that whole DOGE fallout. Now, hopefully, Elon can help convince China to buy American… ironic, since even Americans don’t do that.
+ Iran (ceasefire) so far away…
Yesterday, Donny Blockade said the current US-Iran ceasefire is “on life support” due to an “unacceptable” counter from Tehran to end the war… (think: reparations, full sovereignty over the Strait, etc.).
Friendly reminder that Iran and the UAE spent last week escalating things, and the US struck Iran-flagged tankers in the Gulf of Oman Friday, so we got that going for us, which is nice.
The big brains behind Dunkin’, Arby’s, Buffalo Wild Wings, and Jimmy John’s (think: all the B-tier options in their respective food categories) are just dying to go public. Inspire Brands confidentially filed for its US IPO on Friday, despite literally every restaurant chain warning about consumer spending pressure in 2026.
Inspire could be looking to raise about $2B to repay debt (presumably caused by B-Dub’s bottomless apps promotion…).
> OnlyFans Stake Sale Values Adult-Content Powerhouse at $3.15 Billion // Pimpin’ ain’t easy. But simpin’ ain’t cheap.
> Nike becomes latest retailer sued by customers for not refunding tariff costs // “F*ck you, pay me.” - some guy in Panda Dunks
> Oral Ozempic and Wegovy pills now available for same-day delivery on Amazon // Peak ‘merica moment.
> Trump releases government UFO files, more expected // Are you not entertained? (Spoiler: we were, in fact, not entertained)
> Nintendo hiking Switch 2 prices by hefty amount — and still warns sales will fall next year // Switch 2 just became the new Labubu, you guys.
> Nothing to see here…
The Next Breakout Might Be in Your Pocket
Everyone’s hunting for the next Unicorn.
The type of “category disruptor” that grows fast and turns early believers into big winners.
59,000+ investors think that Mode Mobile could be one of those rare finds.
Americans spend 4 ½ hours on their phones daily, and Mode Mobile is monetizing that screentime. With $1B+ earned by over 490M customers and 32,481% revenue growth, Mode’s EarnPhone is turning smartphones into income generating assets.
Their previous raises sold out, and the company is now offering pre-IPO shares at $0.50/share with up to 20% bonus, exclusive to early investors.
Being early is everything, and this window is still open.
*Ad disclaimers below
On Friday, I asked, “If someone gave you an inside trading tip and you knew FOR SURE you wouldn't get caught, would you go for it?”
84% of you said, “Definitely, I’m taking the money and running.” I’m reporting all of you to the SEC.
Here’s what some of you guys had to say (and my response in italics)…
No way, I’m too ethical for that: “Country club prison is still prison.” But with better food.
Definitely, I’m taking the money and running: “You ain’t cheating, you ain’t trying. Also victimless crime bro.” Dad?
Definitely, I’m taking the money and running: “One billion percent yes… I just need better friends with that kind of info… no Lawrence I don’t care how many sheets of dry wall you hung at the new McDonald’s in Baskaletus.” 2 chicks at the same time…
Other (write-in): “That is exactly the way an SEC auditor would phrase that question. I am not answering that!!” You have nothing to fear if you have nothing to hide...
Definitely, I’m taking the money and running: “Didn't realize 11% of readers were nerds.” Cool guy zone.
Here’s today’s question(s)…
You guys got really conspiratorial about that insider trading question... Good. Keep those tinfoil hats on cause I got WAY too deep into the UFO disclosures this weekend. Where's your head at?
+ US stocks ripped on Friday (S&P 500: +0.8%) on a stronger-than-expected jobs report and kept it up Monday (S&P 500: +0.2%) for a fresh all-time high despite stalled US-Iran peace talks. Friendly reminder: stocks
🟢 Rocket Lab surges 34% in best day ever on revenue beat, record-setting launch deal // Mooned, if you will.
🟢 Saudi Aramco first-quarter profit jumps 26% as key pipeline reaches capacity amid Iran war // Supply, meet demand.
🟢 Micron surges nearly 38% on week as memory chip rally goes parabolic // Once again Michael Burry is the only nonbeliever.
+ Oil jumped on Friday and Monday as the clusterf*ck in Iran began to escalate (again…)
+ The “smart” money (prediction markets) thinks that there’s a 63% chance the OKC Thunder take the NBA Championship. (Polymarket)
⏩ Today we’re keeping an eye on…
+ D-Wave Quantum, JD.com, Sea, On Holding, Under Armour, Venture Global, T1 Energy, eToro, Tencent, and First Majestic Silver Corp. report before the opening bell
+ Oklo, Nextracker, and Denison drop earnings after the bell
+ The Consumer Price Index report for April drops. Buckle up f*ckleheads.
⏩⏩ On Wednesday…
+ Alibaba, Nebius, Eos, Wix.com, Global-E Online, Tower Semiconductor, WeRide, and Dynatrace report before the open
+ Cisco Systems, USA Rare Earth, Enovix, Doximity, and Clearpoint Neuro drop earnings after the close
+ Disney, Netflix, Warner Bros. Discovery, and YouTube will hold their media upfront events.
⏩⏩⏩ And on Thursday…
+ Ondas Holdings, Intuitive Machines, Brookfield, YETI, Klarna, Bullish, Bitdeer, and Viking Holdings report before the bell
+ Nu Holdings, Applied Materials, Figma, Dlocal, Nano Nuclear Energy, KULR Tech, Bit Digital, TMC, StoneCo, United States Antimony, Rumble, and Virgin Galactic report after hours
+ The April Retail Sales report will be released
Oh, and one more thing…
What did you think about today's newsletter?
Sent from my Amazon Fire Phone. Please excuse any mistakes and typos.
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Ad Disclaimers
*Please read the offering circular and related risks at invest.modemobile.com.
Mode Mobile recently received their ticker reservation with Nasdaq ($MODE), indicating an intent to IPO in the next 24 months. An intent to IPO is no guarantee that an actual IPO will occur.
The Deloitte rankings are based on submitted applications and public company database research, with winners selected based on their fiscal-year revenue growth percentage over a three-year period.