Here’s what’s on tap today… Meta is handing over censorship to the robot overlords, Novo Nordisk is about to pump America so full of fat loss drugs, and DoorDash wants you to bend over and let it watch you load that dishwasher for it.
Enjoy the next 3 minutes and 30 seconds of blue-chip news and commentary.
Keep on snapping necks and cashing checks,
Zuck's Modbot
Nobody: …
ChatGPT in like 2 days: “You’re absolutely right — let’s rewrite that post in a way that’ll be sure to get past Meta’s content moderation bots. No controversial takes or real opinions, just vibes.”
Zuckbot just hopped on the fast-track to his next Congressional hearing…
Meta $META ( ▼ 1.46% ) (L ticker symbol now…) announced that it will be reducing its use of 3rd party content moderation vendors to detect and remove posts that violate its TOS.
Oh no… who will protect the internet from internet users now?
You guessed it: AI.
Yep, Meta’s been using AI for years to detect spam and abusive posts, which, coulda fooled me…
Now, The artist formerly known as Facebook will spend the next several years trying to pare down human moderators in favor of AI.
Accenture, Concentrix, and Teleperformance are 3 of the firms likely to take a yuge workforce hit, although Meta still plans to keep a few people around for the real serious stuff. Think: Mr. Hands.
Per Meta, “People will continue to play a key role in how we make the highest risk and most critical decisions, such as appeals of account disablement or reports to law enforcement.”
“But what does this mean for the Metaverse?” - no one
In other flip-flopping Meta news, CTO Andrew Bosworth announced that Horizon Worlds will actually NOT get deleted, despite an earlier plan to cut off the VR app.
And if you’re thinking, “WTF is Horizon Worlds?” then you’re correct. At its peak, the app commanded maybe a few hundred thousand monthly users, compared to, say Roblox’s $RBLX ( ▼ 1.29% ) 100M DAUs…
So, if past performance is any indication of future results, Meta just does whatever TF it wants…
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You gotta admit, Novo Nordisk $NVO ( ▼ 0.99% ) has absolutely zero quit in them. After getting repeatedly curb stomped by their copycats competitors at Eli Lilly $LLY ( ▼ 0.06% ), the Danish pill pushers keep fighting the good fight.
Lucky for NVO, the FDA ain’t playing favorites. Novo just got its higher-dose Wegovy semaglutide approved for the market. Supposedly, the new 7.2-milli dose is closer to the effectiveness of LLY’s Zepbound (think: 20.7% of weight lost for obese patients). More is less.
+ Humans: *invents AI to do less work*
AI: *hires humans to do more work to train it*
Humans:
Remember how Niantic secretly farmed user data via Pokémon Go that it's now using to train city delivery vehicles? Well, at least DoorDash $DASH ( ▼ 3.47% ) is being transparent about its creepy AI overthrow plans…
Temu Uber Eats is paying Dashers to submit video clips for training purposes via its app “Tasks.” That’s right, you can now be paid by a robot to send it a video of you loading a dishwasher, folding clothes, or handwashing dishes…
Ok, which DoorDash C-Suite exec’s kink is this tickling?
+ Jack Dorsey: trendsetter
Crypto.com is following Jack’s lead. That’s right, Coinbase-we-have-at-home is laying off 12% of its team to make way for AI. Oh, and per CEO Kris Marszalek, “Companies that do not make this pivot immediately will fail.”
Oh, and funny story: it looks like Block $XYZ ( ▲ 1.99% ) is hiring back a few of those 4k employees Jack Dorsey cut after what we can only assume was a rad vision quest.
You need a side hustle.
How do I know? Because everyone needs one. Never forget: your full-time job doesn't care about you.
You may be dedicated to your work, but it can leave you high and dry at any moment.
Your side hustle(s) will always be there for you.
> Uber to Invest Up to $1.25 Billion in Rivian Robotaxis (WSJ) // Step 1: Sign robotaxi deal with Uber. Step 2: Actually build robotaxis.
> Trump signals DOJ should continue Powell probe, complicating Warsh Fed nom (CNBC) // “So all I want to do is bring out to the public that this guy is incompetent, he’s a very incompetent guy, and he may be a dishonest guy.” - #47 on J-Poww
> Oil jumps above $119 a barrel after Iran attacked energy facilities across Middle East (NY Post) // Just your daily reminder: it’s still bad.
> Kalshi Gets $1 Billion in New $22 Billion Funding Round (Bloomberg) // Just in case someone picks the perfect bracket…
> Figma’s stock drops 11% in two days after Google releases ‘vibe design’ product (CNBC) // The age of vibe design has come.
> One of these things is not like the other…
Yesterday, I asked, “If the government announces aliens are real, what are we thinking?”
39.5% of you said, “I'll want to believe, but I'll be skeptical on the details...” What a d*mn shame it is, huh?
Here’s what some of you guys had to say (and my response in italics)…
I'll want to believe, but I'll be skeptical on the details...: “Seriously, at this point I wouldn't believe the government if they told me it was raining without looking outside to verify.” But you’d trust me, right?
I won’t believe it. It’s a psyop: “I already believe in aliens. If the gov't tells me they're real, I'll quit believing." Ah, the E.T. Uno Reverse card.
I’ll believe it. We’ve been waiting for this news forever: “You can't tell me we're the only living things in the world. even if it's not like movies, there has to be some sort of alien life out there." I’m ready.
I won’t believe it. It’s a psyop: “I’m not really sure what psyop means but it has to be better than dealing with anal probes." Speak for yourself…
I'll want to believe, but I'll be skeptical on the details...: “I don't trust any messages from Donny Astronomy.” Boy, those nicknames never get old to me.
Here’s today’s question(s)…
So, I guess it's just a matter of time now before all household work is done by robots too... What's the one chore you kind of hope a robot DOESN'T take away from you? (And you better tell me why...)
+ US stocks “ended lower on Thursday, with declines in Micron Technology and Tesla, as worries about inflation stemming from soaring oil prices left investors pessimistic about the potential for future interest rate cuts.” (Reuters)
+ The 10-year yield “rose on Thursday after new labor market data and as inflation fears linked to the U.S.-Iran war continued to sour sentiment.” (CNBC)
+ Oil “on Thursday reversed course after Israeli Prime Minister Benjamin Netanyahu said Iran was no longer able to enrich uranium or make ballistic missiles after nearly three weeks of U.S. and Israel attacks.” (Reuters)
+ The “smart” money (prediction markets) thinks there’s a 25% chance the US invades Cuba this year. (Polymarket)
⏪ Yesterday…
+ Alibaba, Intuitive Machines, Accenture, Darden Restaurants, and Datavault reported before the opening bell
+ FedEx, Planet Labs, United States Antimony, and Firefly Aerospace reported after hours
+ The European Central Bank released its monetary policy statement
⏩ Today we’re keeping an eye on…
+ Xpeng reports before the bell
+ It is the last trading day before the Climb Global Solutions four-for-one stock split
Oh, and one more thing…
What did you think about today's newsletter?
Sent from my Amazon Fire Phone. Please excuse any mistakes and typos.
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