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Hey there weekday warrior,
Here’s what’s on tap today… X is having legal troubles (because, duh), Iran has resorted to sending presents to the US, and Meta got one glimpse of El Paso and said h*ll yeah.
Enjoy the next 3 minutes and 20 seconds of blue-chip news and commentary.
Keep on snapping necks and cashing checks,
X-hibit A
@Grok, is this true?
Bad news for Elon stans today.
A federal judge dismissed X’s antitrust lawsuit against the World Federation of Advertisers (which kinda sounds like if Don Draper were a Freemason) and several other major companies, including Mars (not that one), CVS $CVS ( ▼ 1.39% ), and Colgate-Palmolive $CL ( ▼ 1.58% ).
Allow me to catch you up…
Remember when Elon was in the process of taking over Twitter and it was a complete sh*tshow things were a little complex in the company?
Well, our ex-VPOTUS claimed that a group of advertisers colluded together to act against their own economic self-interest by boycotting advertisements on the evolving platform.
Judge Jane Boyle said X failed to show that it had suffered harm under federal antitrust laws.
In other words…
Oh, and speaking of lawsuits revolving around Elon’s Twitter takeover…
Remember the other day when a jury found that the Dogefather actively misled investors before buying the company?
Well, Phony Stark’s overworked lawyers are claiming un-fair play after discovering that the jury snuck in a 420 joke into its verdict notes. Yes, really.
For some bizarre reason, the jury wrote the number $4.20 in blue ink instead of black ink like every other number on the notes… which might be grounds for a solid appeal. Sup, Eiffel 65.
If the ink is blue, you must review.
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+ Iran is playing “just the tip," just for a second, just to see how it feels…
The top dogs in Tehran have allowed 10 oil tankers to pass through the Hormuz Strait this week as a “present,” per #47. So far, it’s looking like Pakistan is emerging as the chief mediator to attempt to get negotiations going.
Meanwhile, Iran is making plans to charge ships for safe passage through the Strait. Oil jumped Thursday, which makes sense.
+ You gotta spend money to lose money…
Meta $META ( ▼ 7.96% ) is back to doing what it does best (think: spending entirely too much on AI). Zuckbot is yeeting $10B into its new data center in El Paso in order to reach 1 gigawatt of capacity by 2028.
Friendly reminder that Facebook was only planning to spend $1.5B on that particular spot… and $10B is, well, a lot more (because, math).
+ Everyone: “This DHS shutdown is terrible!”
Rental car companies:
While airlines are busy taking the hit for this government DHS shutdown (think: TSA lines being kept on life support by ICE), it’s nice to know someone is winning…
Shares of Hertz $HTZ ( ▲ 9.15% ) and Avis $CAR ( ▲ 12.97% ) both mooned yesterday as former plane enjoyers are turning to cars. Hertz’s website traffic jumped 15% this week alone as airports continue to fall apart.
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> Anthropic wins preliminary injunction in DOD fight as judge cites ‘First Amendment retaliation’ (CNBC) // Things are going to be so awkward at the Department of War Christmas party.
> Netflix Raising U.S. Prices for Second Time in Less Than Two Years (Variety) // They can’t keep getting away with this (jk, they definitely can).
> OpenAI indefinitely pauses plans to release erotic chatbot (Reuters) // First, the Sora/Disney deal falls through, now this? What are those Rule34 incel freaks gonna do?
> Fannie Mae accepts first crypto-backed mortgage product (CNBC) // Script for the future white collar crime docuseries practically writes itself…
> AI and bots have officially taken over the internet, report finds (CNBC) // It’s been real, you guys.
> This, uh, this doesn’t look great, Bob…
Yesterday I asked, “Would you ever go to Disney WITHOUT kids?”
73.8% of you said, “No, I would only go to Disney for kid-related reasons.” Don’t worry, I kicked the rest out.
Here’s what some of you guys had to say (and my response in italics)…
No, I would only go to Disney for kid-related reasons: “74% of us are thinking the same thing, ‘Disney adults sure are weird.’” But they’re people too.
Yes, I would go to Disney as an adult sans-kids: “It’s called being cultured and drinking around the world at Epcot." No one tell him passports exist…
No, I would only go to Disney for kid-related reasons: “I will go for grandkids one day and I will try to persuade the families to go to Universal instead because they have better rides and serve beer in more areas." Idk about that… ever met a Universal adult (think: Harry Potter adult)?
Other (write-in): “For work…IBM opened the park just for us. Couldn’t say no."
Yes, I would go to Disney as an adult sans-kids: “I’ve done both and my child definitely held me back from riding all the rides as much as possible.” Kids ruin everything.
Here’s today’s question(s)…
I was a little disturbed by how many of you mentioned "drinking around the world" in Epcot yesterday. And while I condone the drinking part, I need to know... how well-traveled are you?
- I've been to multiple countries and travel on a regular basis
- Solid. I've been to a few countries and try to travel every now and then
- 'merican. I've been all over the US, but not out of the country (excluding a random tropical vacation)
- Regional. I really haven't even left my tiny corner of the world
- Other (write-in)
+ US stocks “and bonds sold off Thursday and oil continued its weekslong upward trajectory, as optimism faded about possible peace talks or a U.S.-Iran ceasefire.” (NBC News)
+ The 10-year yield “rose on Thursday as investors digested mixed messages around the state of negotiations between the U.S. and Iran.” (CNBC)
+ Oil “pared some gains on Thursday after President Donald Trump suspended U.S. attacks on Iranian energy infrastructure for an additional 10 days, and asserted that peace talks with the country were ongoing.” (Reuters)
+ The “smart” money (prediction markets) thinks the DHS shutdown has a 32% chance of ending by April 1. (Polymarket)
⏪ Yesterday…
+ Pony AI and Lovesac reported before the bell
+ Argan dropped earnings after the close
⏩ Today we’re keeping an eye on…
+ Carnival and TMC report before the opening bell
Oh, and one more thing…
What did you think about today's newsletter?
Sent from my Amazon Fire Phone. Please excuse any mistakes and typos.
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