Hey there weekday warriors,
I’ve got bad news for everyone hoping Disney, Warner Bros. Discovery, and Fox’s new sports streaming service would go live before the football season.
Enjoy the next 4 minutes and 30 seconds of blue-chip news and commentary.
Keep on snapping necks and cashing checks,
+ US stocks “ended higher on Friday, extending their biggest weekly percentage gains of the year as worries of an economic downturn eased and investors focused on the Jackson Hole Economic Symposium next week.” (Reuters)
+ The 10-year Treasury yield was “lower on Friday as investors weighed this week’s flood of key data and considered the state of the economy.” (CNBC)
+ Oil “settled down nearly 2% on Friday, little changed on the week with Brent crude below $80 a barrel, as investors tempered expectations of demand growth from top oil importer China.” (Reuters)
+ Bitcoin was relatively flat over the weekend.
+ The three most talked about stocks on WallStreetBets in the past 24 hours were: 1) Rocket Lab +12.5% 2) Nvidia +1.4% 3) AST SpaceMobile -1.0%
The market moves you need to know about…
+ Bavarian Nordic jumped again after announcing that it submitted data for approval to administer its mpox vaccine to adolescents. It already produces one of the few vaccines approved for adults. And in case you’ve been living under a rock, the WHO just declared mpox a global health emergency. The stonk, which trades OTC in the US, rose 15.8%.
+ To the moon Mars. Shares of Rocket Lab ripped 12.5% after announcing that the company’s Mars-bound spacecraft were on their way to Cape Canaveral for launch.
+ Shares of MSG Entertainment (read: the company that owns Madison Square Garden) jumped 4.7% after reporting that $17 beers and $29 chicken fingers contributed to a huge quarter. Concession sales jumped 48%.
🤝 Want to get your product or service in front of more than 100k rich, good-looking, and intelligent newsletter subscribers? We’re booking ads for Q4 right f*cking now.
Reach out via this form and I’ll be in touch.
Rejected
Source: Giphy
Tell me you’re irrelevant, without telling me you’re irrelevant…
“Sports streamer” Fubo (+16.7%) sued Warner Bros. Discovery (+2.3%), Fox (+1.2%), and Disney (+0.5%) to block their new sports streaming platform from launching.
And, it turns out, being a baby back b*tch is rewarded in America in 2024. A judge blocked Venu from going live later this month. Johnny Law cited the streamer’s ability to “substantially lessen competition and restrain trade.”
What bone does Fubo have to pick?
Well, according to Fubo, if it wants to carry Venu, it has to pick up a bunch of other channels too (think: all those Discovery Channel spinoffs you only watch when you’re high). Meanwhile (shocker)… Venu will be able to sell directly to consumers as a one-off. Ok, maybe Fubo has a point…
If you’re wondering “wtf is Venu, anyway?” and still decided to read this far…
It’s a sports streaming super team consisting of Warner Bros. Discovery, Fox, and Disney. The Big 3 plan to bundle their collective sports rights, and make them available on one platform.
The joint venture would include NBA, MLB, NFL, and college games. Plus, other sports-related content that no one would actually watch (think: ‘The Last Dance’ but it’s about the 2003 Minnesota Twins).
The bundle is expected to cost $42.99… if it ever drops.
So, what’s next?
Well, let’s keep in mind the block is of the temporary variety. The three media giants with much bigger legal teams than Fubo will certainly appeal the decision. And, if all else fails, they’ll probably need to make some concessions to get Fubo and other carriers off their back.
One thing we do know is that Venu has gotta be big mad that it very likely won’t launch ahead of the upcoming football season…
+ Imagine being an astronaut stranded on the International Space Station and finding out that the company that got you into this mess is trying to get out of the space biz…
Boeing (+2.0%) and Lockheed Martin (-0.02%) are reportedly shopping their United Launch Alliance spacecraft joint venture. Sierra Space allegedly has its sights set on ULA.
Surprisingly, a Boeing biz that attempts to successfully make things fly could fetch upwards of $3B.
+ “Supply chain disruptions? *takes drag of cigarette* I haven’t heard that name in years…”
Rivian (-4.0%) said on Friday that it’s temporarily pausing production of its EDVs (Electric Delivery Van), thanks to “parts shortages.” 2022 called and it wants its excuse back…
Now, normally, slacking on EDVs would be NBD. But, the vans (which are presumably windowless) are being produced for Amazon. You know, the same Amazon that happens to be Rivian’s biggest stakeholder.
Rivian promised it wouldn’t miss delivery goals. But investors called bullsh*t. The stock fell more than 4% on the day.
+ “I’ve won, but at what cost?” - Bayer’s lawyers trying to fall asleep
Shares of Bayer jumped 10.3% on news that the company prevailed in a suit that claimed its weed killer (Roundup) should have warned users that it will give them cancer.
One down, 53,999 to go…
Despite the W (it beat a cancer patient, for the record), Bayer still has more than 50k outstanding lawsuits linked to its cancer-causing (allegedly) weed killer. It settled more than 100k of them for ~$10B in 2019.
And that, ladies and gentlemen, is your quarterly reminder that Bayer made, by far, the worst acquisition of all time. It bought Monsanto, the maker of Roundup.
Oh, and…
+ B. Riley Founder Informally Offers to Buy Embattled Company. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
+ Disney’s ‘Deadpool & Wolverine’ becomes the highest-grossing R-rated film of all time. Disney is entering its bad boy era.
+ How to position yourself to benefit from the Fed’s first rate cut in years, according to financial experts. J-Poww strikes me a doggy-style kinda guy…
+ Delta CEO shares his No. 1 piece of advice for getting ahead in your career: ‘People will take notice.’ “Don’t buy Boeing planes.”
+ Amazon Can’t Stop Shoppers from Using These 5 Hacks. Imagine paying full price.
+ Hey Baby, Can I Get Your Number? And by That, I Mean Your Credit Score. Pro tip: never start a conversation with “Hey baby…”
🔥 Jamie Dimon backs ‘Buffett Rule.’ Sounds a lot like something someone who has a future in politics would say…
FYI, TWC might be compensated if you click on the links above. So, what are you waiting for? Start clicking.
⏪ Friday, we were keeping an eye on the University of Michigan Consumer Sentiment report.
⏩ Today we’re keeping an eye on…
+ Palo Alto Networks reports after the bell
Friday, I asked, “You can either have free food & drinks for life (your household) or $300,000 straight cash homie, right now. What are you taking?”
The all-inclusive package for life won with 53.1% of the vote.
And thank you to everyone who called out my typo. My therapist will be hearing all about it this week.
Here’s what some of you guys had to say (and my thoughts in italics)…
$300k: "Put that 300k in a high-yield savings account and have free food/drinks for life with the interest payments." Booooring.
All-inclusive package: "I average minimum $2,500/month (probably spend the equivalent of a Toyota Corolla monthly lease just on Fiji water), so with a break-even of 100 months or less, it would be off to the races on that delicious annuity. $250k of cash gets locked up and wouldn’t benefit until much later." The bottled water question refuses to die…
All-inclusive package: "Caviar and champagne all day"
$300k: "Money talks baby"
$300k: "Was more torn at the $250k in the question, but then noticed the button offered $300k and I'm a sucker for taking advantage of a typo."
All-inclusive package: "I have 3 teens and it feels like it costs more than the $300k right now"
Here’s today’s question…
Saw this over the weekend…
Oh, and one more thing…
What did you think about today's newsletter?
Does this look like the face of a guy you should take financial advice from?
No, it’s the face of an individual who is financially irresponsible/dumb enough to be talked into spending money on a family photo shoot that he could have just done with his iPhone. So, act accordingly...
This is not financial advice. Nothing in this newsletter is an investment recommendation. All content is created for entertainment, educational, or informational purposes only. Do your own research, or do yourself a favor and hire a professional.