TOGETHER WITH
Hey there weekday warrior. Here’s what’s on tap today… Truth Social powers up with fusion, November inflation wasn’t even that bad, and #47 sparked up the blunt rotation.
Enjoy the next 3 minutes and 32 seconds of blue-chip news and commentary.
Keep on snapping necks and cashing checks,
Truth fusion
Just when you thought Trump Media was a bitcoin holding company, they hit us with a pivot…
Trump Media and Technology $DJT ( ▲ 8.28% ) just announced a merger with privately owned TAE Technologies.
And if you’re asking, “who?”… you’re correct.
TAE is a fusion power company. This kind. Not this kind. Oh, and they’re valued at over $6B… even though they don’t make any fusion power yet (to be fair, no one does).
Trump Media Chairman Devin Nunes offered some clarity to everyone wondering: “wait, but why the f*ck did TRUTH Social’s parent company merge with a company that’s living in the year 3000?” It’s simple, really: DJT’s “America-first” mandate means it seeks “combinations that bring transformative technology the potential for significant, long-term value creation and dramatic societal impact.” Duh.
The all-stock deal is expected to close mid-2026. At which time, TWC will be able to start calling him Donny Powers.
This could help turn Trump Media’s fortunes around (but probably not)…
Friendly reminder that DJT shares are down bad (think: 75% drop since January). You see, DJT’s been really, really good at one thing: reporting thicc net losses. The Truth Social empire brought in under $2.7M in revenue Q1 through Q3 of 2025.
But shares mooned 33% on the merger announcement. And your MAGA aunt is gonna count that as a win, despite buying at ATH…
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November CPI is finally here, and it’s honestly looking cool AF. CPI rose only 2.7% in November, lower than September’s 3% and the expected 3.1%. Even better, Core CPI smashed expectations, rising 2.6% compared to an estimated 3% jump.
But before you degens go betting on an extra rate cut on Polymarket, don’t forget J-Poww already tried to control the narrative last week. Our soon-to-be ex-Fed Chair warned that we should be “skeptical” about the data after the government shutdown.
+ 12/18 is the new 4/20…
Donny Chronic just inked an executive order directing federal agencies to reclassify Mary Jane. Ah, yes, exactly what the Founding Fathers had in mind for the executive branch.
If the DEA plays nice, cannabis will be reclassified under the milder Schedule III. Sup, ketamine & Tylenol w/ autism codeine.
Oh, and our nation’s greatest medical mind, Dr. Quinn, Medicine Woman Dr. Gregory House Dr. Meredith Gray Dr. Phil Dr. Oz (no, really), and the folks at the Centers for Medicare & Medicaid Services, are expected to launch a pilot program in April to give seniors free CBD products. Which, throwback time.
+ Larry’s been out here putting the Ls in Ellison over the past few weeks. But it looks like things might be looking up…
According to a leaked internal memo, TikTok has finalized the deal to make TikTok US a thing. They’ll be joined by three managing investors in the JV: Silver Lake, Abu Dhabi’s MGX, and, of course, Oracle.
But that isn’t the only role for the company that appears to have single-handedly ushered in the bursting of the AI bubble. ORCL will also be TikTok US’ “trusted security partner.” Who’s going to tell them McAfee antivirus is like $39.99 per year?
The sources claim the closing date will be January 22nd, which means by January 23rd you’ll be able to share your thoughts about the Uyghurs with this song playing in the background…
> Chipotle chases the protein craze with new menu items — including meat in a cup (CNBC) // ‘Meat in a cup’ sounds like Huntsville, Alabama’s ‘most popular search on P*rnHub in 2025.’
> Nike Beats Q2 Views, But Low China Sales Drag Shares Lower (IBD) // It appears employee discounts aren’t extended to the children at Nike’s sweatshops.
> Elliott Management amasses $1B stake in Lululemon as battle for new CEO heats up (NY Post) // Paul Singer would like to speak with the manager…
> Not all heroes wear capes (some commit fraud via Excel)…
+ US stocks “snapped a four-day slide on Thursday, boosted by lighter-than-expected inflation data that brightened the outlook for lower interest rates in 2026 and blowout guidance from chipmaker Micron Technology.” (CNBC)
+ The 10-year yield “moved lower on Thursday as investors digested delayed inflation data that showed cooling price pressures.” (CNBC)
+ Oil “gained Thursday on growing risks to global supply after U.S. President Donald Trump ordered a blockade of sanctioned oil tankers entering and leaving Venezuela.” (Reuters)
+ The “smart” money (prediction markets) thinks there’s an 82% chance that December inflation remains under 2.8%. (Polymarket)
⏪ Yesterday…
+ Accenture, Cintas, and Darden Restaurants dropped earnings before the bell
+ Nike, FedEx, Nano Nuclear Energy, and Heico reported after the bell
+ The European Central Bank released its policy statement
+ The Consumer Price Index report for November dropped
⏩ Today we’re keeping an eye on…
+ Carnival and Paychex report before the bell
+ Happy triple witching day to those who celebrate
+ Disney will release Avatar: Fire and Ash… and they’re still making those?
Yesterday, I asked, “Which boss archetype is the absolute worst to work for?”
38.0% of you said, “The micromanager.”
Here’s what some of you guys had to say…
The micromanager: “I’ve been doing my job and survived through 4 layoffs…You’ve been here 4 months and will be gone in 12…p*ss off.”
The meeting addict: “The master thief of time and production. The always circling time thief will find a way to distract you from your obligations only to criticize why your deliverables are always late.”
The micromanager: “It gets worse when it is their first management job too...FML”
Other: “The Terrible Communicator. I have a boss who says one thing, and in the very next sentence, says the exact opposite thing.”
Other: “The one that you work 90-100 hours all year for, tells you your the best analyst, then cuts your bonus in half because your somehow still below par”
Here’s today’s question…
Which current Schedule I drugs should join jazz cabbage in Schedule III next?
Oh, and one more thing…
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Sent from my Amazon Fire Phone. Please excuse any mistakes and typos.
Does this look like the face of a guy you should take financial advice from?
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This is not financial advice. Nothing in this newsletter is an investment recommendation. All content is created for entertainment, educational, or informational purposes only. Do your own research, or do yourself a favor and hire a professional.