Hey there weekday warriors,
The reviews of ‘We, Robot’ are in… and welp, I don’t think we’ll be getting a sequel.
Enjoy the next 4 minutes and 40 seconds of blue-chip news and commentary.
Keep on snapping necks and cashing checks,
+ The Dow and S&P 500 “scored record closing highs on Friday, with the big boosts from financial stocks after banks reported strong quarterly results while the latest inflation data fueled expectations for a U.S. Federal Reserve rate cut in November.” (Reuters)
+ The 10-year Treasury yield “dipped below 4.10% on Friday as investors assessed the latest inflation data that came in cooler than expected.” (CNBC)
+ Oil “settled lower on Friday but rose for the second straight week as investors weighed factors such as possible supply disruptions in the Middle East and Hurricane Milton's impact on fuel demand in Florida.” (Reuters)
+ Bitcoin climbed over the weekend.
+ The three most talked about stocks on WallStreetBets in the past 24 hours were: 1) Tesla -8.7% 2) Nvidia -0.007% 3) C3.ai +3.8%
The market moves you need to know about…
– Define “bad beat.” FanDuel parent Flutter tumbled 8.7% on Friday after news broke that the UK Treasury is considering doubling some taxes on online sportsbooks in the country. Has Britain learned nothing about levying unfair and burdensome taxes?
– Shares of Boeing fell 0.8% post-market after recovering some larger losses. The troubled plane maker surprised investors by dropping preliminary Q3 results and announcing it was laying off 10% of its workforce. As you might have expected, BA expects to report a huge loss for the quarter.
One-star review
2 Chainz talks to Elon Musk's new Tesla Optimus robot 👀
— #FearBuck (#@FearedBuck)
6:05 AM • Oct 11, 2024
“I’m not mad, I’m disappointed…” - Tesla investors (and probably 2Chainz…)
ICYMI Tesla (-8.7%) hosted its ‘We, Robot’ event Thursday evening. Virgins tuned in from their parent’s basements as Elon unveiled the Cybercab, Robovan, and Optimus robots that were able to serve drinks and dance like white people at a wedding (my full recap is here).
And on Friday, Tesla investors indicated they were more disappointed than my parents every time I tell their friends I write a newsletter…
Why?
Per usual, Elon made some vague promises but was light on the details. Questions remain, like…
When will we actually get a Cybercab?
Does society actually need the Robovan?
Will Cybercabs actually work? Analysts pointed out that Tesla’s self-driving tech is wayyy behind Waymo and Cruise (…and they’re literally still killing people)
Most importantly: were Optimus robots really communicating with attendees?
And, of course, some investors couldn’t help but think the Cybercab (and the Robovan) are just a massive distraction. Just in case Twitter, SpaceX, Neuralink, and The Boring Company weren’t…
What have you done for me lately?
Plus, in the years it takes to develop its autonomous tech, Tesla will need to continue selling EVs (you know, its core biz). And unfortunately, it’s looking increasingly likely that annual sales will actually fall this year…
Perhaps that $25k entry-level sedan would alleviate some investors’ concerns?
Shares fell nearly 9% on the day.
Meanwhile, Uber and Lyft (up 10.8% and 9.5%, respectively) went off on news that the Tesla self-driving cabs aren’t about to replace underpaid immigrants with blue-tooth earpieces anytime soon.
+ You remember how your grandpa started saying wild sh*t right before he broke his hip and your parents sent him to a home?
Well, it appears JPMorgan (+4.4%) Chairman and CEO Jamie Dimon is on the back nine of his career. Because JD was getting sassy on Friday’s earnings call. He clapped back at a UBS analyst asking about the Street’s net interest income consensus.
Jamie Finance had this to say: “I don't want to spend all the time in these calls like going through what they're guessing what NII is going to be next year.” Bring me back to the days when CEOs were calling fund managers a**holes on earnings calls…
That wasn’t the only thing JDMorgan had to say. The master of the universe shared his concerns about the fragile global geopolitical situation.
Oh, and he addressed the elephant in the room: whether he’d accept the role of Treasury Secretary. He said chances were “almost nil,” adding “I will almost guarantee that I will be doing this for a long period of time or at least until the board kicks me out.” Translation? He’s definitely thinking about it…
+ Imagine taking a civil servant job that doesn't even offer a PJ when you’re still throwing heat (Jamie Dimon can’t)…
Jamie has still got his fastball. JPMorgan reported an (easy) beat on the top and bottom lines Friday. The investment banking division led the way with 31% revenue growth. It probably didn’t hurt that JPM hiked its annual net interest income guidance.
Wells Fargo (+5.6%) also reported on Friday. And despite still being Wells Fargo/missing the Street’s estimates on the top line, shares popped. Management commentary, lower loan loss provisions, and promises of thick-n-juicy net interest income in the coming quarters had investors all sorts of horned up.
+ Nothing to see here…
After an unexpected jump in the September consumer price index on Thursday, we got some reassuring inflation data on Friday. The producer price index came in as expected. That’s good news, considering those lower prices flow through to consumers (usually).
+ Maybe we should cut Elon some slack on the Optimus robots that were using humans to communicate with attendees at last week’s Tesla event.
This mf’er figured out how to catch a SpaceX rocket booster with a big a** claw at the place it took off…
Best footage of the Super Heavy booster landing from today's mission.
— #DogeDesigner (#@cb_doge)
1:41 PM • Oct 13, 2024
+ This is the most overrated piece of job interview advice, tech exec says: People take it ‘too seriously’. “Lie on your resume.”
+ ‘No one writes about “rich guy” early retirement’: My wife and I earn $300,000 a year and have $3.75 million. We have 3 kids. When can I quit working? Never. Now back to your cubicle.
+ Is now the right time to apply for that travel card? There’s never been a better time to make airline miles a huge part of your personality.
🔥 Mark Cuban says his best employees share this soft skill: ‘You need to reduce stress, not create it’. Two words: dirty talk.
You asked for more real estate content. Who am I to say no?
+ Real Estate Experts: 7 Key Words Smart Buyers Always Look For in a Home Listing. “The site of a grisly ax murder”
+ More people are selling their house without a real estate agent - is it a good idea? “Absolutely not.” - every real estate agent ever
🔥 The 10 U.S. Cities With the Lowest Risk of Climate Disasters—Including Hurricane, Fire, and Flood. Something tells me it’s mostly places where dreams go to die (read: the Midwest).
FYI, TWC might be compensated if you click on the links above. So, what are you waiting for? Start clicking.
⏪ Friday, we got earnings reports from JPMorgan, Wells Fargo, BlackRock, and Bank of New York Mellon. Plus, the September producer price index dropped.
⏩ Today we’re keeping an eye on…
+ Adobe hosts its Max event
+ The Tesla Cybertruck makes its European debut at the Paris Motor Show
Friday, I asked, “Is cereal (with milk) soup?”
92.2% of you said, “absolutely not.” And 100% of you were irrationally angry at me for asking.
Here’s what some of you guys had to say (and my thoughts in italics)…
Yes, it's soup: "Do you use a spoon? Yes, so it's soup” This guy gets it.
No: "Answering yes would mean you think that any solid that lies within an edible liquid is a soup. That's insane and weird (which may mean you'll be super rich one day ... or a serial killer ... or a cereal killer). But I digress. Soup is liquid, as in broth, that can have things added to it -- like meat, veggies, etc. There is simply no denying that the presence of a liquid is what defines a soup. So, in this comparison, the equivalent to the "soup" is the milk, not the cereal. The cereal itself is what would be added to the liquid. If anything, you should ask if "milk" is a soup."
No: "Soup: A liquid dish, typically made by boiling meat, fish, or vegetables, etc., in stock or water. NOT milk.”
No: "One of the strongest stances I didn’t know I had until this morning. Politics, sports, and now cereal/soup."
No: "Not everything has to be something else"
And here’s today’s questions…
You get $10M but you have to leave your home country (US for most of us, I assume) and you can never come back. Family can come with you and they're able to go back and forth as they please.
What did you think about today's newsletter?
Does this look like the face of a guy you should take financial advice from?
No, it’s the face of an individual who is financially irresponsible/dumb enough to be talked into spending money on a family photo shoot that he could have just done with his iPhone. So, act accordingly...
This is not financial advice. Nothing in this newsletter is an investment recommendation. All content is created for entertainment, educational, or informational purposes only. Do your own research, or do yourself a favor and hire a professional.