TOGETHER WITH
Hey there weekday warrior,
Here’s what’s on the agenda today…
Elon is overpromising about the Roadster, Getty cuts a deal with Perplexity, and Warren Buffett is coasting into retirement.
Enjoy the next 4 minutes and 26 seconds of blue-chip news and commentary.
Keep on snapping necks and cashing checks,
The Joe Roadster Experience
Life goal: go on Rogan, make unhinged promises that my PR team has to roll back…
Elon’s back on his (next-gen) Tesla $TSLA ( ▲ 4.01% ) Roadster bullsh*t after 8 long years of delays (read: completely forgetting about it).
Our ex-VP jumped on the JRE podcast Friday to hype up the next Roadster with some big promises about its features: "If you took all the James Bond cars and combined them, it’s crazier than that." It’s giving Theranos.
But he didn’t stop there… Lord Elon also teased a prototype demo before the end of 2025. Which, at the current rate of progress, means we’ll see one in the year of our lord 2033 (when GTA 6 drops…).
Of course, Elon’s hype tour might have something to do with yet another d*ck measuring contest on X with his archnemesis, Sam Altman.
A tale in three acts:
— #Sam Altman (#@sama)
10:24 PM • Oct 30, 2025
On Thursday, Sam posted screenshots of his 7.5-year delayed Roadster order on Elon’s personal echo chamber. And yes, Elon fired back. Because nothing says “saving the environment with electric vehicles” quite like CEOs bullying each other a la teenage girls on social media.
WTF could it mean for us?
Every lame stream newsletter tells you “wHaT iT MeAnS.” At The Water Coolest, we predict tomorrow’s headlines today…
🔮 FT headline on 11/20/32 (probably): "Elon Unveils Roadster"
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+ “Wait, you guys are getting paid?” - writers everywhere to stock photographers
On Friday, Getty Images $GETY ( ▼ 2.81% ) announced a multi-year licensing partnership with Perplexity AI that sent shares mooning. The stock was up 67% at one point and pulled along little bro Shutterstock shares up 23%. Because, you know… rising tides.
Annnd it’s gone. But by the end of trading on Friday, shares were actually down… nearly 7% on the day. Woof.
+ Things you hate to see from a company you invest in: a $380B cash pile… and no buybacks.
For the 5th straight quarter, Warren Buffett has refused to buy any of his own stonk… despite Berkshire’s $BRK.B ( ▲ 0.23% ) coffers swelling to $381.7, and not making any significant acquisitions during the quarter.
Berkshire put on a clinic in the quarter, with operating margins surging 34%, thanks largely to the conglomerate’s insurance biz (see: no major disasters). Friendly reminder: this is the Oracle’s final quarter as CEO. He’ll hand over the keys to the kingdom to Greg Abel at year end.
+ Eat a d*ck, Al Gore…
Hyperscalers need power for their AI data centers… and Exxon $XOM ( ▼ 0.4% ) has got a solution: fossil fuels… perhaps you’ve heard of them?
During its earnings call, Exxon said that it’s in advanced talks with power providers and tech companies to power the AI revolution with natural gas. CEO Darren Woods said Exxon “aims to capture 90% of the carbon dioxide emissions emitted by natural gas plants that power data centers.”
+ Evolve investors: “Well, it certainly can’t get much worse than a $100M fraud that left the fintech on the brink…”
Welp, on Friday, Bob Hartheimer, the CEO tasked with righting the ship, got arrested on kiddie p*rn charges.
+ US stocks “rose on Friday, boosted by shares of tech giant Amazon on the heels of its strong quarterly results.” (CNBC)
+ The 10-year yield “was little changed Friday following this week’s interest rate cut from the Federal Reserve and the central bank’s more hawkish tone on future policy.” (CNBC)
+ Oil “settled slightly higher after a wild trading session on Friday, popping up as media reports said U.S. air strikes on Venezuela could begin within hours and then retreating after U.S. President Donald Trump issued a denial on social media.” (Reuters)
+ The “smart” money (prediction markets) thinks there’s an 84% chance Polymarket goes live in the US in 2025. (Polymarket)
⏪ On Friday…
+ Chevron Corp, Exxon Mobil, AbbVie, Colgate-Palmolive, Linde, T. Rowe Price, Canadian National Railway, and Charter Communications reported before the open
⏩ Today we’re keeping an eye on…
+ Fubotv, ON Semiconductor, Cipher Mining, and Pony AI report before the bell
+ Palantir, Hims & Hers, Realty Income Corp, Navitas, Energy Fuels, Vertex, BWX, Diamondback Energy, Sterling Construction, and Simon Property report after hours
Last week, I asked, “What is the GOAT Pop-Tart?”
42.2% of you said, “Brown Sugar Cinnamon.”
Here’s what some of you guys had to say…
Brown Sugar Cinnamon: “You can eat them right out of the wrap. No toaster necessary!”
Strawberry: “I'm fine being a basic b*tch here”
Wildberry: “Washed down with a white monster is the breakfast of (future) diabetics”
Unfrosted (you are a serial killer): “Not a kid anymore. The unfrosted is the right amount of sweetness and you don’t get chunks of “icing” on your shirt. Must be toasted to a golden brown for optimal taste. ”
Brown Sugar Cinnamon: “Anything else is trying too hard.”
Other: “Making s'mores with S'more pop -tarts is where it's at.”
Here’s today’s question…
Some ground rules…
Let’s assume random sick days or days for doctor’s appointments, a funeral, or other random stuff don’t count - we’re talking straight vacation time
Your company is serious about unlimited PTO - they want you to take time off
Your company offers unlimited PTO. How much time are you actually taking?
Day 2 of cleaning up after humans
— #Nick Wentz (#@NickWentz_)
10:31 PM • Oct 29, 2025
Oh, and one more thing…
What did you think about today's newsletter?
Sent from my Amazon Fire Phone. Please excuse any mistakes and typos.
Does this look like the face of a guy you should take financial advice from?
No, it’s the face of an individual who is financially irresponsible/dumb enough to be talked into spending money on a family photo shoot that he could have just done with his iPhone. So, act accordingly...
This is not financial advice. Nothing in this newsletter is an investment recommendation. All content is created for entertainment, educational, or informational purposes only. Do your own research, or do yourself a favor and hire a professional.