TOGETHER WITH

Here’s what’s on the agenda today…

Elon’s announcement wasn’t that much more impressive than LeBron’s, gold can’t stop, won’t stop, and Polymarket is about to put gambling sites in a body bag.

Enjoy the next 4 minutes and 12 seconds of blue-chip news and commentary.

Keep on snapping necks and cashing checks,

– tyler

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Ok, now do the Cybertruck…

LeBron’s “Decision” disappointed (obviously). Elon’s, on the other hand, was a bit more exciting… assuming he actually follows through.

Elon’s rolling out new versions of the Tesla $TSLA ( ▲ 1.42% ) Model 3 and Y that will appeal to the masses… or at least everyone who wasn’t throwing Molotov Cocktails into Tesla dealerships a few months ago. The “new” EVs will be priced more affordably: the Model Y will be under $40k, and the Model 3 starts at $37k.

But before you try to break your Rivian lease…

The Model Y (Peasant’s Version) is only $5k cheaper than the current cheapest version. That means it doesn’t even offset the $7.5k EV tax credit that went the way of Elon’s baby mamas when they start to get too clingy.

*Elon slaps roof of Model Y* “This bad boy is packed with buyer’s remorse”

The discount isn’t the only disappointment. The Model Y that just screams “I’m in socioeconomic no man’s land” loses some most of the bells and whistles like the panoramic glass roof and ~10% of its battery range.

WTF does it mean for us?

For starters, it means we’re probably not getting the Tesla Roadster. Tesla stans went from six to midnight over the weekend, thinking this announcement would be the much-anticipated Roadster. But, alas, it remains like the Apple Car… a mythical creature.

Overall, the “release” (re-release?) isn’t expected to impact sales figures materially.

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+ Stop what you’re doing and go call your grandparents. Gold just hit $4k per ounce for the first time ever. In case you’ve been busy investing in internet money or betting on when Warren Buffett will break his hip via Polymarket, gold is up 50% this year (thanks, trade uncertainty, and the dollar falling out of favor).

+ That’s a bold strategy, Cotton…

It appears Marc Benioff does not negotiate with terrorists. Salesforce $CRM ( ▲ 0.22% ) told a bunch of its clients yesterday that it has no intention of paying a ransom to a hacker group that’s threatening to publish a bunch of their data.

In case you were wondering, yes, the hack happened under Salesforce's watch earlier this year.

+ Please make it stop…

+ DraftKings is punching air right now…

ICE (no, not that one), the owner of the New York Stock Exchange (perhaps you’ve heard of it?) is investing up to $2B in Polymarket at an $8B. But wait, it gets better… ICE will distribute sentiment indicators globally, and the two will “partner on future tokenization initiatives” (whatever the hell that means).

What a time to be alive, you guys.

+ You are not gonna believe this… but those buzzkills over at the Motion Picture Association are big mad at OpenAI for blatant IP theft. I don’t know about you, but if making SpongeBob spinoffs and South Park sequels on Sora 2 is wrong, I don’t want to be right…

+ US stocks “struggled on Tuesday, bogged down by a drop in Oracle shares amid investors’ worries about the profitability of the artificial intelligence rollout. Wall Street also looked for more developments out of Washington with the U.S. government shutdown in its second week.” (CNBC)

+ The 10-year yield “fell on Tuesday with no signs of progress in resolving the standoff between Republicans and Democrats that shut down the government down last week.” (CNBC)

+ Oil “steadied on Tuesday as investors weighed a smaller-than-expected increase to OPEC+ output in November against signs of a potential supply glut.” (Reuters)

+ The “smart” money (prediction markets) thinks there’s a 90% GTA VI costs more than $90 when (if?) it’s released. (Kalshi)

⏪ Yesterday…

+ The holiday shopping season kicked off (yes, really) with the two-day Amazon Prime Deal Days event

⏩ Today we’re keeping an eye on…

+ The Federal Reserve will release the minutes from its last meeting

Here’s today’s question…

For today’s hypothetical…

Oh, and one more thing…

Sent from my Amazon Fire Phone. Please excuse any mistakes and typos.

Does this look like the face of a guy you should take financial advice from?

No, it’s the face of an individual who is financially irresponsible/dumb enough to be talked into spending money on a family photo shoot that he could have just done with his iPhone. So, act accordingly...

This is not financial advice. Nothing in this newsletter is an investment recommendation. All content is created for entertainment, educational, or informational purposes only. Do your own research, or do yourself a favor and hire a professional.