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Hey there weekday warrior,
Here’s what’s on tap today… Meta can’t stop, won’t stop AI capex, Getty Images is un-IPOing, and Moderna is curing cancer, but investors dgaf.
Now, enjoy the next 3 minutes and 23 seconds of blue-chip news and commentary.
Keep on snapping necks and cashing checks,
Suckerberg
Meta investors, Wednesday: “To the moon”
Meta investors, Thursday:
Meta $META ( ▼ 6.98% ) got its teeth kicked in (think: down 8%) after Zuckerbot shared that the ‘book’s free cash flow went negative in Q3… all while raising the floor on full-year capex…
ICYMI, on Wednesday, the white-belt wonder posted a top-line beat with $64.6B in revenue for Q3 and EPS of $3.83.
Quick math: that’s a 26% jump in revenue from last year, which, thanks Muse.
However… America’s top pitmaster also expects capex to land anywhere from $135 B to $ 145B (because there is no limit), up from $130B.
But wait, there’s more (terrible news for Meta)…
A judge from the Land of Enchantment just sent Meta a $25B invoice for that whole Cambridge Analytica thing.
Pour one out for Meta’s finance team.
Spoiler: it’s just a Muse bot now.
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+ Get Getty Out
RIP. Getty Images just went all-in on Chapter 11. The plan? The Getty family and Koch Equity are ready to take the purveyor of pics private.
*Nathan For You voice* The problem: a pile of debt, AI image generators destroying photography as we know it, and the $4B failed Shutterstock $SSTK ( ▲ 3.73% ) merger.
The solution…
+ Cheap Chinese knockoff…
DeepSeek just raised $15B in its latest funding round after raising its target twice due to “steep demand from investors.”
Big swingin’ investors include: Tencent and battery maker Contemporary Amperex Technology.
Oh, and apparently DeepSeek is following Dario’s lead, prepping to go public in Shanghai soon…
Meanwhile, earlier this week, DHS ordered all federal civilian agencies to remove DeepSeek models due to “multiple threat vectors” (new band name, I call it).
+ Cancer: cured (kinda).
Apparently, even literally curing cancer is no guarantee of a stonk rip in 2026…
Moderna $MRNA ( ▼ 17.57% ) accidentally leaked partial data on their new personalized cancer v*x prior to an upcoming oncology conference.
Turns out 82% of melanoma patients on this particular shot plus Merck’s $MRK ( ▼ 1.76% ) drug Keytruda were alive without recurrence at two years…
Stonks *double checks notes* tanked as much as 25% on the news, which, what?
Technically, the share price is up over 530% this year, but still…
> Pepsi renews contract with Taco Bell days after KFC switches to Coke in the U.S. // Baja Blast lovers like…
> (Wednesday) eBay to lay off 9% of workforce in its second round of job cuts this year // When you thought you were too good for GameStop...
> (Wednesday) SpaceX stock jumps 10% after earnings beat and Musk hints at Tesla tie-up // To the (literal) f*cking moon.
> (Tuesday) Boeing wins FAA approval for 737 Max 10 after years of delays as Duffy says certification process should be faster // Somebody better get Sully outta retirement...
> (Tuesday) Netflix posts third-quarter earnings beat, but shares fall on advertising and revenue guidance // Netflix/Skydance is the new Bloods/Crips.
On Friday, I asked, “Does this (new Apple HomeView) look remotely useful?”
65% of you said, “Not at all.” Wow you guys absolutely despised this ad…
Here’s what some of you guys had to say (and my response in italics)…
Not at all: “I’ll just prop my iPhone up against a mug (or book, or anything really) and get the same effect?” Big phone stand hates this simple trick…
Maybe (wouldn’t buy): “I say that but I have a bad feeling my wife already bought one.” Your wife needs to look up a recipe for French toast?
Maybe (would buy): “Ever try to sync your calendar with a spouse that refuses to put anything into her calendar? Yeah. Fun.” Divorce.
Other (write-in): “I want to fist fight this family in the parking lot.” *everyone felt that*
Not at all: “That is so chaotic. They need to schedule parenting classes instead of couple’s ice skating classes.” “You need a license to buy a dog, to drive a car. Hell, you even need a license to catch a fish. But they’ll let any butt-reaming a**hole be a father.”
Here’s today’s question(s)…
Have you graduated to using an AI agent yet? Which one?
+ US stocks climbed three days straight through Wednesday (S&P 500: +0.4% Mon, +0.3% Tue, +0.6% Wed) as oil and yields eased and AI names caught a bid, then cratered Thursday (-1.2%) after Tesla and Meta earnings did nothing to quiet the AI doubts. Down bad.
+ The 10-year yield drifted most of the week, then tumbled below 5% Thursday to its lowest in nearly a month as money rotated into bonds.
+ Oil chopped sideways near its five-month high all week as Houthi attacks on Saudi facilities fought with US-Iran mediation hopes, then rallied more than $2 Thursday on fresh attacks and escalation fears. War. What is it good for?
+ The “smart” money (prediction markets) thinks there’s a 40% chance Zohran Mamdani is TIME’s Person of the Year. (Polymarket)
Oh, and one more thing….
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