As expected, Elon had an absolutely savage response to Apple killing its electric car project.

Here’s what else we’re getting into today…

Enjoy the next 4 minutes and 32 seconds of blue-chip news and commentary.

Keep on snapping necks and cashing checks,

- tyler

+ US stocks “retreated on Wednesday as caution prevailed ahead of a crucial inflation report that will guide expectations for interest rate cuts.” (Yahoo! Finance)

+ The 10-year Treasury yield “dipped on Wednesday as investors looked to key economic data ahead that could provide hints about the outlook for interest rates." (CNBC)

+ Oil prices “settled lower on Wednesday after the Federal Reserve held firm on its decision to hold off cutting interest rates in the near future, while growing U.S. crude stockpiles added further pressure.” (Reuters)

+ We’ll get into Bitcoin’s big day below…

+ The three most talked about stocks on WallStreetBets in the past 24 hours were: 1) Marathon Digital +2.3% AH: -6.7% 2) Nvidia -1.3% 3) C3.ai -1.3% AH: +12.8%

The market moves you need to know about…

– Frank Slootman probably just wanted an acrylic recognition award and a pat on the back when he hung up his deal sleds. Instead, shares of Snowflake dropped 20.2% after he announced his retirement. The weak outlook probably didn’t help either.

– Warby Parker plummeted 14.9% after dropping a brutal earnings report. You hate to see it.

– Not even Taylor Swift and Beyoncé can save AMC. Shares fell 11.0% after the theater chain dropped its latest earnings report. It beat expectations, but it admitted that all (and I do mean ALL) of its EBITDA and revenue gainz can be attributed to the T-Swift and Queen Bey movies (read: one time).

“Should I buy Bitcoin?” - the text everyone is currently getting from their parents

Bitcoin topped $60k for the first time since November 2021. Which means its all-time high ($69k) is this close. Laser eyes in profile pics are so f*cking back.

Of course, the upward momentum is nothing new…

At this time last year, Bitcoin was changing hands around $20k… and Satoshi was presumably curled up in a ball crying in his shower.

Most of Bitcoin’s gainz in 2023 were in anticipation of the SEC’s approval of bitcoin spot ETFs. And HODLers got their wish on January 10th.

In the immediate aftermath of the approval, Bitcoin tumbled. But in the past month or so, news about epic inflows to the countless Bitcoin ETFs has investors totally bricked up. For those of you keeping score at home, the total inflows to BTC ETFs to date are $6.7B

It’s probably not a coincidence that yesterday, BlackRock’s ETF saw the biggest inflow to date. And EVERY Bitcoin ETF hit its all-time high earlier this week.

Why should I care? I hate myself for saying this, but… “we are still early.” Although the flows into the newly minted Bitcoin ETFs have been record-breaking, there is still a lot of money sitting on the sidelines. And not just mom-and-pop investors that are “scared of monopoly money.” A lot of institutional money is still handcuffed by governance (spoiler: the kind of money that moves the needle) or internal red tape.

The halving is also worth keeping an eye on. At some point in early April, the reward for mining a bitcoin gets cut in half. This happens every 4 years. Historically, Bitcoin has risen ahead of a halving but traded pretty flat in the immediate aftermath.

+ Mark Cuban still follows this advice his dad gave him at age 14: It helps me live ‘the way I wanted to’ (Read)

+ The 8 Worst Money Mistakes That Can Blow Up Your Retirement (Read)

~ ICYMI... How Much Money You Need To Retire In Every State In America (Read)

+ Wendy’s just went all “sike!”

To the surprise of literally no one, Wendy’s (+1.8%) backtracked on its plan to test out a dynamic pricing model. I’d like to think it had something to do with TWC’s Exit Interview results (81% against dynamic pricing in fast food) sending a message.

The plan to roll out Uber-like surge pricing in 2025 was met with swift backlash from people who treat their bodies like a landfill. Senator Elizabeth Warren went as far as to label it price gouging.

In its statement, the home of the square burger and sunrooms said it would still deliver new, digital menu boards to its restaurants. But it promised it wouldn’t use them to raise prices when people are fiending for a Frosty (pretty sure that’s an actual crime against humanity).

The fast-food chain made sure to add that those dynamic pricing boards will allow it to offer discounts… which is exactly what a company that just got called out for jacking up prices would say.

Why should I care? Well, it appears that Wendy’s has confirmed what industry experts have known for a while: fast-food diners watch prices closely… and they aren’t afraid to take their money elsewhere. One restaurant analyst said, “I don't see it [surge pricing] taking off any time soon.”

That doesn’t mean other, tech-forward chains won’t try (and, presumably, hire a better PR firm). It’s worked well in other industries, like airlines. And event ticketing (looking at you, Ticketmaster).

+ Things you don’t want to hear from your crypto brokerage’s support account on Twitter: “We are aware that some users may see a zero balance across their Coinbase accounts & may experience errors in buying or selling.” Luckily, Coinbase (+0.7%) promised everyone’s crypto is safe and sound (…but how funny would it be if Coinbase was just the biggest rug pull of all time?)

Coinbase blamed a surge in traffic for crashing their site and showing $0 balances in some accounts. It’s not all that surprising that Coinbase users were flooding the site, considering Michael Saylor didn’t see his shadow, and crypto winter unofficially came to an end yesterday.

+ Ok, don’t freak out… but if SBF gets his wish, FTX 2.0 could be up and running by mid-2030. Ahead of his sentencing (friendly reminder: he was already found guilty), SBF’s lawyers are seeking just 5.5 years in prison. He faces up to 100.

Their rationale? His “neurodiversity.” Read: he’s autistic. They also reminded everyone about his “effective altruism” (think: make f*ck yo money… and donate it to the best causes). Sam’s mom added that his crimes are “the first thing he thinks about when he wakes up and the last thing he thinks about when he goes to sleep.” I’m pretty sure that’s the point of the lengthy prison sentence…

+ 2021 called, and it wants its go-public strategy back. Webull (think: Robinhood’s less shady cousin) plans to go public via SPAC. The brokerage will merge with SK Growth Opportunities Corporation to create a combined company worth ~$7.3B. (Read)

Here's what I'm keeping an eye on today...

+ Anheuser-Busch InBev, TD Bank, Dell, Autodesk, RealReal, and Polestar report. Think AB InBev will comment on how sales are holding up after its big Super Bowl push?

+ The PCE Index (read: the Fed’s preferred inflation gauge) drops. No pressure…

Yesterday I asked, “What Wall Street/finance movie deserves a reboot?”

Boiler Room topped the list. Followed by Trading Places. A distant third was Glengarry Glen Ross. All deserving IMHO.

Here’s today’s question…

What’s that? You thought Wendy’s CEO was a moron? Well, Kellogg’s CEO just told Americans to start eating cereal for dinner to save money. So…

Oh, and one more thing…

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Does this look like the face of a guy you should take financial advice from?

No, it’s the face of an individual who is financially irresponsible/dumb enough to be talked into spending money on a family photo shoot that he could have just done with his iPhone. So, act accordingly...

This is not financial advice. Nothing in this newsletter is an investment recommendation. All content is created for entertainment, educational, or informational purposes only. Do your own research, or do yourself a favor and hire a professional