Hey there weekday warrior,
It appears that the end is near for Intel.
Enjoy the next 4 minutes and 41 seconds of blue-chip news and commentary.
Keep on snapping necks and cashing checks,
Split happens
“Look how they massacred my boy…” - Pat Gelsinger, former CEO of Intel
You hate to see it. Intel (-2.2%) is about to be sold off for parts like a 1998 Honda Civic.
Rumor has it that Broadcom and TSMC are circling like vultures, hoping to pick at the decaying carcass that is Intel.
According to the WSJ, Broadcom is reportedly interested in Intel’s chip design and marketing arms, while Taiwan Semi would love nothing more than to sink its teeth into the semiconductor fabrication biz.
Friendly reminder: Intel is one of the few chipmakers that falls into the category of “get a man who can do both.” You might recall that its decision to get its vertical integration (designing AND making chips) is what got it into this mess.
Ok, so what’s on the table?
Broadcom wants to make a deal, but only if there is a partner willing to buy the manufacturing arm, presumably because it saw what a sh*tshow the build-out has been for Intel. Hint hint TSMC…
Just one problem… the T in TSMC stands for Taiwan. As in the country that’s one Xi Jinping phone call away from being the Puerto Rico of China (with more human rights violations).
Last week, the White House said it was opposed to TSMC taking a stake in Intel. But that could change should TSMC drop the “c” word (think: a consortium that could include US backers). The US Sovereign Wealth Fund has entered the chat…
+ *Rate-cut Spidey senses tingling…*
Retail sales took a 0.9% nosedive in January. That was wayyy worse than the expected 0.2% decline the Street was hoping for. Stripping out the sad excuse of an auto market, sales were still down bad: -0.4% compared with expectations of a slight gain. Turns out, Americans weren’t in the mood to drop cash on sporting goods (-4.6%), online shopping (-1.9%), or cars (-2.8%) after their holiday binge.
On the bright side, gas stations and restaurants/bars posted 0.9% gainz, which makes sense because when times get tough, Americans do what they do best: eat, then drink and drive.
+ Masculine Zuck is about to displace thousands of tradwives.
Meta (+1.1%) is making a push into the robot game. And it couldn’t possibly go any worse than the metaverse, right? Right?! Meta’s new division within its Reality Labs unit will develop AI-powered humanoid robots to assist with physical tasks, including things like carrying glasses of liquids, placing dishes in the dishwasher, and folding that laundry that you dried but then just dumped onto your bed 6 days ago.
Creating Zuckerbot’s clone army means Meta will make a huge investment in robot hardware. Meta plans to spend $65B this year on the Reality Labs division, which handles products like the Quest VR headset and Ray-Ban smart glasses. Unitree Robotics and Figure AI are in discussions as partners to develop the Meta-bot, and ex-GM Cruise CEO Marc Whitten has been tapped to run a new team of 100 engineers.
Side note: Meta is playing it super cool, claiming it definitely isn’t planning to build a Meta-brand bot that would compete with Tesla’s (-0.03%) Optimus. Pretty obvious effort to avoid getting Sam Altman’ed by Elon…
Dell (+3.7%) shares popped Friday after news dropped that xAI is prepping an agreement to buy $5B of AI servers to be delivered this year. Have no fear, Nvidia (+2.6%) fanbois: those servers are powered by Jensen’s tech.
That one order would top Dell’s entire AI server order demand from last quarter ($3.6B). Rumor is xAI is looking for some funding to expand/pay for these servers. It’s hoping to raise a $10B round that would value Elon’s Altman revenge scheme at ~$75B. Cathie Wood reaches for her checkbook
+ Airbnb (+14.4%) shares had their best day ever after posting a big swingin’ revenue and earnings beat Friday, and CEO Brian Chesky says he wants Airbnb to be the Amazon of travel… because calling things the Uber of [XYZ] is so 2024.
+ Is the buyout offer in the room with us right now? OpenAI’s board unanimously rejected Elon’s $97.4B buyout offer/attempt to attain a chatbot people actually use.
+ New Pershing Square Capital (aka Bill Ackman) picks just dropped: Chipotle (-1.8%) is out, Nike (-0.2%) is in. Fess up, who skimped on Bill’s guac?
+ Southwest Airlines (+1.1%) is laying off 15% of its corporate workforce (~1,750 employees) to cut costs. Now get rid of open seating.
+ To avoid 'awkward, superficial' small talk, make one little change, says communication expert. Step 1: Avoid human interaction
+ Here’s the ‘quick and dirty’ way to withhold enough taxes from your paycheck, advisor says. Spoiler: You wouldn’t need to read this if you just didn’t pay taxes.
🔥 Avoid these 3 common crypto mistakes when filing your taxes, says CPA: ‘I see these all the time’. Wait, so I have to tell the government that I’m a Fartcoin thousandaire?
FYI, TWC might be compensated if you click on the links above. So, what are you waiting for? Start clicking.
+ US stocks “closed mixed on Friday with the Nasdaq 100 notching a record high close to cap a busy week of tariff hikes, inflation updates, and retail sales data, which fell short of estimates.” (Yahoo! Finance)
+ The 10-year yield “dropped on Friday as investors assessed the state of the economy after a slew of reports this week.” (CNBC)
+ Oil “prices settled down on Friday on prospects for a peace deal between Russia and Ukraine that could ease global supply disruptions by ending sanctions against Moscow, but losses were limited by a delay in U.S. immediate reciprocal tariffs.” (Reuters)
+ Bitcoin “edged lower on Monday.” (Investing.com)
+ The three most talked about stocks on WallStreetBets in the past 24 hours were: 1) Nvidia +2.6% 2) Intuitive Machines Inc. +2.4% 3) Super Micro Computer +13.3%
⏪ On Friday…
+ Moderna and Enbridge reported before the bell
+ Hedge funds and investment managers began whipping out their 13Fs
+ Nike celebrated the 40th anniversary of the Jordan Brand
+ The January Retail Sales Report dropped
⏩ Today we’re keeping an eye on…
+ Baidu and Medtronic report before the bell
+ Arista, Occidental Petroleum, Cadence, Shift4, and Devon Energy drop earnings after the bell
Friday, I asked, “What is worth paying extra for?”
“Movers” won with 33.1% of the votes.
Here’s what some of you guys had to say…
Movers: “not having to touch furniture when you move is the sh*t”
Non-stop flights: “Avoiding missed connections, lost luggage, stress-filled races to the connecting gate (I'm talking to you Atlanta Hartsfield)”
High quality toilet paper: “Living in the dorms when I was 18 and being forced to use the single ply we were provided has changed my life. I'll always splurge for the nicer TP, its worth every penny.”
Good bed: “If it's even remotely true that you spend 1/3 of your life sleeping then this is a slam dunk. ”
Nice whiskey (or any hard alcohol): “A nice whiskey makes up for missing out on everything else on the list, especially a non-stop flight.”
Other: “All of the above. That's right, get a job first.”
And here’s today’s question…
You can only choose one for the rest of your life: always stay at Airbnbs or always stay at hotels. What are you choosing?
Oh, and one more thing…
What did you think about today's newsletter?
Does this look like the face of a guy you should take financial advice from?
No, it’s the face of an individual who is financially irresponsible/dumb enough to be talked into spending money on a family photo shoot that he could have just done with his iPhone. So, act accordingly...
This is not financial advice. Nothing in this newsletter is an investment recommendation. All content is created for entertainment, educational, or informational purposes only. Do your own research, or do yourself a favor and hire a professional.