TOGETHER WITH
Hey there weekday warriors,
No newsletter Monday. See you jabronis on Tuesday.
Here’s what’s on tap today… no one is safe from AI (even “old economy” companies), Anthropic is out to smash records, and Polymarket just defeated communism.
Enjoy the next 3 minutes and 32 seconds of blue-chip news and commentary.
Keep on snapping necks and cashing checks,
Something Big Is Happening
“Dad, what was it like in early 2026 when karaoke companies could bring entire global industries to their knees?”
Today in sh*t you can’t make up…
In 2024, The Singing Machine Company (which, for the record, literally made karaoke machines) pivoted to AI for logistics and became Algorythm $RIME ( ▲ 18.48% ) (btw, 10/10 name… no notes). Mostly because tariffs nuked its supply chain (think: China).
Fast forward two years…
Yesterday, it went all DeepSeek circa January 2025 and put the entire logistics industry in a body bag with one press release.
Algorythm said its SemiCab platform can help customers scale freight volumes by 300% to 400%, without additional employees.
The Russell 3000 Trucking Index dropped 6.6%, and individual logistics companies got rekt (looking at you, CH Robinson $CHRW ( ▲ 0.09% )).
Misery loves company…
If it makes the major logistics players feel any better, commercial real estate also took its lumps yesterday.
CBRE $CBRE ( ▲ 1.38% ), Jones Lang LaSalle $JLL ( ▲ 2.17% ), and Hudson Pacific Properties $HPP ( ▲ 3.8% ) all death spiraled as concerns about AI displacing office work grow.
Of course, the real estate and trucking industries aren’t alone in getting their cheeks clapped. Over the past few weeks, pretty much no industry has been spared the wrath of trigger-happy investors assuming AI will do everyone’s job by the end of Q2.
Keep your head on a swivel.
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+ The last time things were looking this bleak for Apple, they were pre-installing U2 albums on iPhones…
AAPL $AAPL ( ▲ 2.24% ) fell 5% yesterday, its worst one-day L in nearly a year. On Wednesday evening, Bloomberg put Timmy Apple on blast, indicating that Siri’s AI makeover won’t roll out until May… at least. Spoiler: that’s later than expected.
It probably doesn’t help that the FTC is sniffing around Apple News after claims that it has been suppressing conservative content.
+ Pentagon… hexagon… octagon… shegone…
Goldman’s $GS ( ▲ 1.12% ) top lawyer, Kathryn Ruemmler, finally got “stepped down” last night thanks to her ties to Jeff “The New York Financier” Epstein. It appears that the latest revelations from the Epstein email trove gave DJ D-Sol no choice but to assume that maybe, just maybe, Katy was a scumbag after all.
The emails that came to light yesterday showed her signing off with “xoxo” and joking about JE’s p*nis.
Because apparently, offering Jeff legal advice after his 2019 arrest (she was his first call) and being listed as a backup executor of his will wasn’t enough to force HR’s hand…
Anthropic just picked up a silver medal in the ‘largest private tech fundraising round ever’ category. The makers of Cowork raised $30B at a $380B valuation.
If you’re keeping score, that’s more than double what TemuGPT was worth in September following its last raise. The round includes funds from Microsoft $MSFT ( ▲ 1.18% ) and Nvidia $NVDA ( ▲ 0.68% ), and will primarily be used to pay for… more Nvidia chips (duh).
+ TANSTAAFL
Polymarket just opened its free grocery store in Manhattan’s West Village, and Mamdani stans gotta be punching drywall right now. The degenerate gambling prediction market startup started giving away free food and household goods at its new brick-and-mortar as a “love letter to New York City” (read: marketing stunt).
+ Everything must go.
Spirit Airlines just sold 20 more out-of-service Airbus jets as it continues to work its way out of its second bankruptcy in less than a year. The fleet now sits at a measly 94 aircraft. Frontier-we-have-at-home also called back 500 flight attendants from furlough as it gears up for a busy Spring Break season. Spring Break forever…
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> Coinbase Posts $667 Million Net Loss, Revenue Declines 20% (Bloomberg) // Brian Armstrong has a fever, and the only prescription is more prediction markets…
> Rivian stock rises 15% as automaker tops Q4 expectations, targets significant production increase (CNBC) // Go ahead, try and find a Rivian driver who doesn’t make it their entire personality… I’ll wait…
> FTC tells Tim Cook to look into reports Apple News is censoring conservatives (CNBC) // “Hey Siri, whose side are you on?”
> Mercedes-Benz earnings slashed by more than half on $1.2B hit from Trump’s tariffs (NY Post) // Excuses are like a**holes…
> Never getting off Twitter (or X or whatever)…
Yesterday, I asked, “What is the greatest item McDonald's ever rolled out? (And why?)”
24.5% of you said, “Fries.” How original, you guys…
Here’s what some of you guys had to say (and my response in italics)…
Chicken McNuggets: “Because even when I go to Chick-fil-A, I have to remind myself not to say McNuggets.” It’s the Kleenex of nuggets.
Fries: “The foundation of McDonald's is built on the Big Mac, but it's the fries that make them the golden arches. Also, who voted "Snack Wrap"? You don't have cheese, a tortilla, and frozen chicken at home?” In this house, the Snack Wrap is a hero. End of story.
McRib: “Just gross enough to be awesome” New tagline just dropped.
Other (write-in): “McGangbang” I thought that was only an urban legend…
Apple Pie: “The 1970s apple pie, not the joke that they serve now” We get it, you had to walk uphill both ways to McDonald’s.
Other (write-in): “Shamrock Shake by far - not having as an option here is a crime” I don’t get the hype. Would rather have a Filet-o-Fish.
Here’s today’s question(s)…
Valentine's this weekend... (you're welcome for reminding you) What's the move on Valentine's Day? Give specifics.
+ US stocks “dropped on Thursday as investors began to worry about the negative side of the artificial intelligence buildout, which threatens to disrupt the business models of whole industries and raise unemployment.” (CNBC)
+ The 10-year yield “moved lower on Thursday as investors reacted to the latest home sales data and looked ahead to the key inflation report.” (CNBC)
+ Oil “dropped on Thursday due to falling demand, retreating fears of renewed Middle East conflict and expected increases in supply.” (Reuters)
+ The “smart” money (prediction markets) thinks that there’s a 54% chance that MrBeast’s million-dollar puzzle will be solved by February 28. (Polymarket)
⏪ Yesterday…
+ Nebius, Crocs, Zoetis, Brookfield, and Howmet reported before the opening bell
+ Coinbase, Arista, Airbnb, Applied Materials, Rivian Automotive, DraftKings, Pinterest, Roku, Toast, Twilio, Dutch Bros, Vertex Pharma, Maplebear, DexCom, Wynn Resorts, and Kinsale Capital Group reported after the bell
⏩ Today we’re keeping an eye on…
+ Cameco, Moderna, and Enbridge report before the opening bell
+ The Consumer Price Index report for December drops
Oh, and one more thing…
What did you think about today's newsletter?
Sent from my Amazon Fire Phone. Please excuse any mistakes and typos.
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