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Hey there weekday warrior,
Here’s what’s on tap today… SpaceX just filed for the biggest IPO of all time, Anthropic leaked a whole bunch of secrets, and Novo Nordisk blew (yet another) lead.
Enjoy the next 3 minutes and 13 seconds of blue-chip news and commentary.
Keep on snapping necks and cashing checks,
Soft launch
To the (literal) moon.
No one freak out, but… the largest IPO of all time just got filed.
And I know it feels like we’ve been expecting it for a while, but let’s not forget that this was all just a d*mn rumor a mere 4 months ago…
Yesterday, SpaceX “confidentially” (lol) filed for its IPO with the SEC. But never forget what Elon thinks about the Shortseller Enrichment Commission.
Early reports have it that Tesla+ is eyeing a valuation of $1.75T (with a T) and will list around June. Sorry 4/20 stans.
Oh, and the IPO is looking to raise $75B. To put that in context, that’s 3X the current largest US IPO ever (sup, Visa). And it surpasses Saudi Aramco’s mere $50B IPO. Pathetic.
“But Tyler, how can I get in on this action?” -You, probably
Well, in case you missed it (shame on you), on Monday, rumors were swirling that Morgan Stanley’s $MS ( ▲ 0.97% ) E*Trade had a shot at being the sole retail brokerage for this IPO. But even with that monopoly, only about 5-10% of the raise will be available to poors retail investors like you and me…
So anyway, what are we betting on for the SpaceX ticker on Polymarket? $X? or $SEX?
CNBC says investors have "nowhere to hide." But one exclusive platform just posted a 22.9% net return. Here's how to get in.
Despite an exciting bull run, gold fell 25% from its January peak.
Bloomberg's Marcus Ashworth said it this week: "No more reliable safe havens."
But Masterworks has been offering fractional investments well outside the norm. Typically those exclusive to the ultra-wealthy.
One of those was an Elizabeth Peyton painting. Total net return to hundreds of their members: 22.9%. Typically 3-10 years, this rare turnaround took just a few weeks.
That's sale number 27. Net annualized returns on sales like 14.6%, 17.6%, 17.8%.
So, despite macro turmoil, the art market has been trending up.
U.S. auction sales jumped 23.1% last year. The $1mm-$5mm segment grew 40.8% in value.
Few people know this. But postwar and contemporary art grew 10.2% annually with near-zero correlation with the S&P 500 over the last 30 years.*
Masterworks lets you invest in shares of works featuring Banksy, Basquiat, Picasso, and more.
70,000+ members. $1.3 billion across 525+ works.
*According to Masterworks data. Investing involves risk. Past performance not indicative of future returns. See important disclosures at masterworks.com/cd.
+ Me on April 1, trying to figure out if this was real or not…
Some poor engineer just got so fired at Anthropic after leaking a yuge portion of its Claude Code base. Oops.
It’s not a good look for Dario & Co., who spent yesterday issuing copyright takedown requests to try to get their proprietary vibecoding secrets off of GitHub.
Maybe OpenAI can use some of those trade secrets to catch back up…
+ Aaaand it’s gone… (Novo Nordisk’s brief lead)
The FDA just approved Eli Lilly’s $LLY ( ▲ 3.78% ) new GLP-1 pill. The once-daily Flintstone Vitamin obesity pill “Foundayo” is going to be ready for your mom to take as early as Monday from LLY’s D2C platform LillyDirect for as low as $25/month.
*RFK Jr. punching drywall right about now*
+ Tell your unemployed friend
Turns out, there are still jobs out there (sorry, ex-Oracle employees…). The March ADP jobs report dropped yesterday, and private sector growth wasn’t too, too bad. Job growth hit 62k for the month, beating estimates of a mere 39k.
Most of that growth came from education and health services (58k), and construction brought in a solid 30k as well. Trade, transportation, and utilities dumped 58k jobs…
The co-founder of Super Micro Computer, Yih-Shyan Liaw (aka Wally for some reason), just pleaded NOT guilty. In case you missed it, Wally (plus two accomplices) were charged for illegally diverting billions of dollars’ worth of Nvidia chips to China. Friendly reminder: that violates US export law…
Trial has been set for Nov 2 for the yuge smuggling case. I’m available for jury duty if needed…
You need a side hustle.
How do I know? Because everyone needs one. Never forget: your full-time job doesn't care about you.
You may be dedicated to your work, but it can leave you high and dry at any moment.
Your side hustle(s) will always be there for you.
> Boeing Shares Soar On US Deal To Triple Patriot Seeker Output (Bloomberg) // Boeing shareholders trying to remember the last good news they got…
> Iran threatens Nvidia, Apple and other tech giants with attacks (CNBC) // Just when you thought it couldn’t get any worse for the kids assembling iPhones…
> Intel shares jump 10% after buying back Ireland chip fab in sign of renewed strength (CNBC) // Believe in yourself as much as Intel believes in Intel.
> All this and still can’t figure out how to make a profit…
Yesterday I asked, “What are your thoughts on April Fool's Day?”
Predictably, 43.9% of you said, “It's kinda fun. I don't mind if people prank me today.” But the “completely apathetic about it/no fun” group was not far behind…
Here’s what some of you guys had to say (and my response in italics)…
Other (write-in): “It's fun in the office, but companies "pranking" via social media is stupid, dumb, annoying, and lame.” Noted.
It's kinda fun. I don't mind if people prank me today: “Shows they care enough to F$%k with you!” Wait… no one pranked me today.
I’m neutral or totally apathetic about April Fool’s: “Like collecting baseball cards or watching professional wrestling. Participating in April Fool's Day is something you're supposed to outgrow...yeah I know. I don't get invited to many parties." Buzz Killington over here.
It’s kinda fun. I don’t mind if people prank me today: “I am FOR SURE gonna get got at least once on an internet story today.” Don’t worry, you’re safe here.
I’m against it. Nobody better mess with me today: “I was a middle school principal. One day dealing with the after effects of “French chocolate” (Exlax) ruined the day forever.” Oof.
Here’s today’s question(s)…
That Flintstones vitamin reference got me thinking... Which childhood medicine was actually kind of delicious now that you're looking back?
+ US stocks “opened the second quarter in the green on Wednesday, extending gains for a second straight session as hopes for de-escalation in the Middle East lifted sentiment.” (CNBC)
+ The 10-year yield “ticked up on Wednesday as investors assessed the prospect of a resolution to the conflict in the Middle East.” (CNBC)
+ Oil “slipped from multi-year highs on Wednesday, briefly slipping below the $100 a barrel threshold, after President Donald Trump suggested that the U.S. could be pursuing an impending exit from the Iran war. The president also said that the new Iranian regime had asked for a ceasefire.” (Reuters)
+ The “smart” money (prediction markets) thinks there’s a 44% chance that “The Super Mario Galaxy Movie” gets a 45+ on Rotten Tomatoes. (Polymarket)
⏪ Yesterday…
+ Tilray, Cal-Maine Foods, ConAgra Foods, and Lamb Weston Holdings reported before the bell
+ Quarterly sales reports from car makers started coming in (looking at you, Tesla)
+ Apple marked its 50th anniversary
+ The February Retail Sales report dropped
⏩ Today we’re keeping an eye on…
+ Booking Holdings will start trading on a split-adjusted basis following its 25-for-1 stock split
Oh, and one more thing…
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Sent from my Amazon Fire Phone. Please excuse any mistakes and typos.
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This is not financial advice. Nothing in this newsletter is an investment recommendation. All content is created for entertainment, educational, or informational purposes only. Do your own research, or do yourself a favor and hire a professional.