Today we’re getting into another FTX exec’s sentence, looking at the US’ new trade settlement rules & a whole lot more.

Enjoy the next 4 minutes and 3 seconds of blue-chip news and commentary.

Keep on snapping necks and cashing checks,

- tyler

+ “The tech-heavy Nasdaq Composite reached a new high on Tuesday, breaching 17,000 for the first time as AI darling Nvidia continued its post-earnings tear to also reach a record of $1,140 a share.” (Yahoo! Finance)

+ The 10-year Treasury yield “moved higher Tuesday following a poor auction on the five-year note and as investors await fresh data releases on inflation." (CNBC)

+ Oil “gained more than $1 a barrel on Tuesday on the expectation that OPEC+ will maintain crude supply curbs at its June 2 meeting, while the start of U.S. summer driving season and a weaker dollar also boosted the commodity.” (Reuters)

+ Bitcoin “fell below $68,000 following a significant transfer from a Mt. Gox cold wallet.” (The Block)

+ The three most talked about stocks on WallStreetBets in the past 24 hours were: 1) Nvidia +7.1% 2) Cava -0.6% // -2.0% after hours 3) GameStop +25.1%

The market moves you need to know about…

+ Shares of HubSpot popped 8.1% on news that Alphabet is (still) considering an all-stock deal to acquire the CRM software maker.

– Celsius Holdings tumbled 12.8% on news that Nielsen data showed sales have been slowing. The energy drink maker pared some even larger losses earlier in the session after a handful of analysts came to its defense.

+ New cheat code unlocked. Semler Scientific rocketed 24.3% higher after it said it would change its primary treasury reserve asset to bitcoin. In case you were wondering, Semler is a medical tech company…

What’s that? Your post-MDW hangover was brutal yesterday?

Welp, remember, it could’ve been worse… you could be Ryan Salame. The former FTX exec (the CEO of FTX Digital Markets) was sentenced to 7.5 years of trading mackerel instead of Dogecoin.

He’ll also serve 3 years of supervised release and will pony up $6M in forfeiture and $5M in restitution.

The punishment was a lot worse than expected. Obviously, his lawyers were asking for a slap on the wrist (18 months). But even the prosecution was only seeking 5 to 7 years.

SBF’s right-hand man pleaded guilty to “conspiracy to make unlawful political contributions, defraud the Federal Election Commission, and conspiracy to operate an unlicensed money-transmitting business.”

The worst part?

RyGuy is a snitch who flipped on Sam days before the house of cards came tumbling down. Just a few days before FTX filed for bankruptcy, Salame told Bahamian officials that SBF had done a bunch of shady sh*t. In the biz, this is more commonly known as covering your a**…

Turns out Salame wasn’t particularly useful to authorities since pretty much everyone else was willing to testify against SBF. Salame never took the stand to further betray his work bestie…

The newest federal inmate is the first of SBF’s gang bang buddies to be sentenced.

+ Check in on your friends who are working in the back office…

Stock trading in the US has pulled the Band-Aid and has gone to T+1 from T+2, meaning trades will be settled in one day vs. 2 from here on out.

For retail traders, this means getting your money more quickly following a trade and, in theory, more liquidity in the market.

The push for T+1 was at least partially ushered in by the meme stock craze. You might recall that Vlad Tenev cited T+2 as one of the reasons for having to pause the purchase of certain stocks (the other reason was being Ken Griffin’s lackey…).

+ *The FCC has entered the chat*

T-Mobile (+0.7%) is buying most of US Cellular (+12.1%) for ~$4.4B. Heavy emphasis on “most of”… especially if the fun police from the FCC start sniffing around.

The company that gobbled up Sprint in 2020 to create the worldwide leader in dropped calls and spotty service will take over most of US Cellular’s stores and customers, as well as 30% of its wireless spectrum. T-Mobile plans to lease the remaining 70%…

+ Bah gawd, that’s Paul Singer’s music. Elliott Management took a $2.5B stake in Texas Instruments (+0.2%) … and something tells me we’re about to get AI-powered TI-83s. Singer and Elliott are planning to do what they do best… proposing a plan that could generate more than $9 of free cash flow per share by 2026. I’ll spare you the Google search… TXN currently generates less than $2 per share.

+ Good news, GameStop (+25.1%) shorts… there’s a f*ck ton more shares to bet against. On Friday, Ryan Cohen did his best Adam Aron impression, selling 45M shares at market price. The company raised nearly $1B. Despite diluting current shareholders, GME mooned… probably because the cash injection delayed the inevitable.

+ Jensen Huang be like “thank you for your service, Elon.” Nvidia rose another 7% after news broke on Sunday that Elon’s xAI raised $6B… $5.9B of which is presumably going to be wired directly to Nvidia for H100s.

+ You could score a tax break for hiring your own kids this summer — if you follow the rules (Read)

+ Hands Down Some of the Best Credit Cards for Balance Transfers (Read)

+ 10-year-old’s before-school side hustle brings in thousands of dollars: How he works around his 8 p.m. bedtime (Read)

⏪ Yesterday we were keeping an eye on Cava’s earnings, Hess’ shareholder vote, and the consumer confidence index.

+ Cava (-2.0%) (think: Chipotle, but make it Mediterranean…) beat easily on the top and bottom lines and hiked its guidance… but shares still fell.

+ Shareholders of the company that makes Hess trucks (and moonlights as an oil and gas producer) have approved a $53B sale to Chevron.

+ Make up your mind, people. The Conference Board Consumer Confidence Index rose unexpectedly in May. The index hit 102, while economists were expecting 96… which would have been a month-over-month dip.

⏩ Here's what we’re keeping an eye on today...

+ Dick's, Bank of Montreal, A&F, Advance Auto Parts, and Chewy report this AM

+ Salesforce, HP, Okta, UiPath, and Capri Holdings report after the bell

+ Bill Ackman’s Pershing Square hosts an investor call

+ NY Fed Pres John Williams participates in a roundtable

Yesterday, I asked, “Who’s the most famous dog of all time?”

The top 3…

Honestly, shocked Air Bud didn’t get more love.

Here’s today’s question…

Before you go…

The perfect bar doesn’t exi— (Check it out on Twitter)

Oh, and…

Does this look like the face of a guy you should take financial advice from?

No, it’s the face of an individual who is financially irresponsible/dumb enough to be talked into spending money on a family photo shoot that he could have just done with his iPhone. So, act accordingly...

This is not financial advice. Nothing in this newsletter is an investment recommendation. All content is created for entertainment, educational, or informational purposes only. Do your own research, or do yourself a favor and hire a professional.