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Hey there weekday warrior,
Bad day to be Michael Saylor.
Enjoy the next 4 minutes and 31 seconds of blue-chip news and commentary.
Keep on snapping necks and cashing checks,
+ US stocks “whipsawed Thursday as investors digested Nvidia's (NVDA) earnings and a tumble from Alphabet (GOOG, GOOGL) amid a Department of Justice move to break up its empire.” (Yahoo! Finance)
+ The 10-year yield was “little changed again, as market participants assessed media reports that Russia had fired missiles on Ukraine.” (MarketWatch)
+ Oil “climbed nearly 2% on Thursday as tensions between Russia and Ukraine were rapidly rising as the countries launched missiles at each other, worrying markets about crude supply if the conflict widened.” (Reuters)
+ Bitcoin “briefly surged past $99,000 Thursday, creating another price record as investors, big and small, can't seem to get enough of the cryptocurrency.” (Investopedia)
+ The three most talked about stocks on WallStreetBets in the past 24 hours were: 1) MicroStrategy -16.1% 2) Nvidia +0.5% 3) Archer Aviation +14.3%
The market moves you need to know about…
– The parent company of Condé Nast plans to borrow against its Reddit stock… at a discount. The pending deal which would value the stake at $1.2B sent RDDT spiraling 7.2% after hours.
– PDD Holdings just got the Temu treatment. Shares of Temu’s parent company fell 10.6% after it announced a top and bottom line miss and indicated competition is heating up.
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Short king
Source: Giphy
“Some men just want to watch the world burn.”
Andrew Left of Citron Research is one of those men.
In a “short report” Tweet (because, work smarter, not harder) Left indicated that he was betting against Michael Saylor's MicroStrategy (-16.1%). Side note: Michael Saylor reacting to Scottie Pippen (yes, that Scottie Pippen) claiming he knows Satoshi is must-see TV…
Friendly reminder…
This ain’t your daddy’s MicroStrategy. The company known as a software maker for most of its life said f*ck it and YOLOed into Bitcoin in 2020. And if you’ve ever wondered “why does Docusign need 6k employees,” allow me to blow your mind: Microstrategy employs 1.9k. Yes, the company that’s basically Michael Saylor with a Coinbase account at this point…
For those of you keeping score at home, MSTR currently owns more than 331k Bitcoins…
So why does Left hate MSTR?
Not because he hates Bitcoin. In fact, Citron is long Bitcoin. Left just thinks MicroStrategy is more pointless than bringing your own lube to a party at Diddy’s house.
You see, for a time MicroStrategy acted as a publicly traded proxy for Bitcoin. But Bitcoin ETFs changed all that.
And Left points out that even Saylor would probably admit that the stock, which has outpaced Bitcoin and the Mag 7 over the past year, is running a bit hot.
Wait, I thought Buzz Killington swore off short selling...
Well, yes. But the short king has fallen off the wagon.
You might remember that before Vlad Tenev and Ken Griffin were in retail traders’ crosshairs during the pandemic, they threatened to stuff Left in a locker.
He was vocal on Twitter about his short position in GameStop in early 2021. Define "being on the wrong side of history.” Which led to death threats and Left pinky promising to never go short again…
So to recap, after getting burned by a short position on a retail favorite... he's decided to short another retail darling that has a cult following of mouthbreathers who are arguably even bigger degenerates than WallStreetBets users…
What’s the worst that could happen?
+ The good news for Wall Street and sh*tcoin smooth brains alike is that America’s Kermit the Frog-looking SEC Chair, Gary Gensler, confirmed he’ll vacate his role. The bad news? He’ll wait til noon on January 20th to do so.
Republicans were pushing for him to step down and end his reign of terror immediately. His reluctance to bow out early means he could have some more tricks up his sleeve.
Among other things, Gary Gee will be remembered for living rent-free in crypto investors’ brains. Dude went full ‘old man yells at cloud’ on anyone who so much as watched Matt Damon’s “fortune favors the brave” ad during the Super Bowl.
+ "If he dies, he dies." - Ivan Drago The DOJ
Late Wednesday the Justice Department confirmed rumors that it would seek the divestiture of Google's (-4.5%) Chrome browser as a punishment in the search giant's antitrust case.
Back in August a judge decided that Google has an illegal monopoly in the online advertising market and needs to be made an example of. Which.. ok, fair.
In addition to the divestiture of Chrome, the Justice Department hopes to prevent Alphabet from backing up the Brinks truck for Apple, Samsung, and other partners willing to make Google the preferred search engine in their ecosystems (… for the right price).
Google could also be prohibited from buying up emerging competitors and be forced to undo its $2B investment in Anthropic.
+ Nothing screams "I don't think about you at all" quite like giving a gift from the GAP this holiday season…
According to GAP’s (+6.8% // +15.7% after hours) CEO Richard Dickson (what a brutal name to grow up with) holiday sales are off to a hot start. I mean, I guess people with no taste and less money have to shop somewhere...
GAP (the company that owns GAP, Banana Republic, Athleta, and Old Navy) beat on the top and bottom lines as Dick's turnaround plan appears to be taking hold.
+ 5 in-demand jobs that can pay over $100,000 and don’t require a bachelor’s degree. $100k is basically poverty in 2024…
🔥 No. 1 skill you need to run a money-making side hustle: ‘A gigantic portion of’ your success depends on it, says expert. Listen to Gary Vee podcasts.
FYI, TWC might be compensated if you click on the links above. So, what are you waiting for? Start clicking.
⏪ Yesterday Deere, PDD Holdings, and Baidu reported before the bell. Intuit dropped earnings after the close.
⏩ Today we’re keeping an eye on…
+ F1 Las Vegas festivities get underway. The race isn’t til Sunday, but expect the Sphere to take over your social media feed whether you like it or not…
Yesterday, I asked, “Knowing what you do now, if you just graduated high school and had the opportunity to take any one of the following paths, which would it be?”
Why am I not surprised that 36.4% of you are playing football at Alabama? Second was “go to Harvard.”
Here’s what some of you had to say (and my thoughts in italics)…
Startup: "Probably have to drop out of Harvard first, thanks for the inspo Zuck”
Bama: “I would've won a natty guaranteed and, even if I didn't make it in the league, imagine that in a B School admissions essay/LinkedIn bio.”
Marines: “I want to make a difference and the path I took didnt.”
Marines: "Step one, serve your country. Step two, co-write a tv show about your experience with Taylor Sheridan.”
Workforce: “Become an HVAC installer, build my own company and sell it to some recent MBA grad. Retire at 35"
Bama: "Coming from an Alabama resident that is not an Auburn or Bama fan...if you make good grades are a 4 year letter-winner, stay for a 5th year to get your MBA and the most you do is contribute on special teams you are going to pick any job you want.”
Workforce: “My son just turned 1 and it's already been decided he will be an electrician or plumber. We're nice parents, so we'll let him choose which one. Also, I love Pub subs as much as the next guy, but I would never had described that as "fast" food or "quick" service. Time is of no concern to the lovely people down there, and frankly sometimes it's a nice change of pace...especially if it's a Publix that has a bar in it."
And here’s today’s question…
Let's pretend the big 4 US sports leagues (NFL, NBA, NHL, MLB) go away. You have to pick one "secondary" league to follow. Which is it?
Oh, and one more thing…
What did you think about today's newsletter?
Does this look like the face of a guy you should take financial advice from?
No, it’s the face of an individual who is financially irresponsible/dumb enough to be talked into spending money on a family photo shoot that he could have just done with his iPhone. So, act accordingly...
This is not financial advice. Nothing in this newsletter is an investment recommendation. All content is created for entertainment, educational, or informational purposes only. Do your own research, or do yourself a favor and hire a professional.