TOGETHER WITH

Here’s what’s on the agenda today…

The only publicly traded strip club just got indicted for tax fraud and bribery, Google is having itself a week, and Fyre Fest has a very unlikely buyer.

Enjoy the next 4 minutes and 23 seconds of blue-chip news and commentary.

Keep on snapping necks and cashing checks,

– tyler

PS, no newsletter tomorrow, Friday, Monday, or Tuesday. See you next week.

Who could have possibly seen this coming?

(The OGs might remember that in a previous life, Large and I hosted Barstool’s Family Office pod. We only had one publicly traded company CEO as a guest: RCI Hospitality’s Eric Langan)

Five execs of RCI Holdings $RICK ( ▼ 15.94% ), which owns and operates t*tty bars gentlemen’s clubs across the country, including in NYC, were indicted yesterday for tax fraud and bribery.

They stand accused of bribing the horniest New York state Department of Taxation and Finance auditor in the game with 13 free trips to FL plus $5k for “private dances at RCI-owned strip clubs, including Tootsie’s Cabaret in Miami.”

According to the indictment, the auditor offered rave reviews of Tootsies: “This was the best trip I had in Florida. The girls were very beautiful and nice…I hope we can have another trip before the summer.” Same man, same.

So, what did RCI get in return?

It appears the only thing the NY state auditor lacks more than ethics is negotiating skills. You see, RCI was able to save more than $8M in taxes over the past 14 years, in return for, by my estimates, bribes that total less than $100k.

The tax “breaks” were related to ‘Dance Dollars’ (spoiler: customers redeemed real money for, erm, ‘services’).

RCI management probably didn’t help itself by texting pretty openly about the fraud. RCI’s CEO fired this off in 2018: “‘I think I got the sales taxes in New York to 350 plus interest possibly. Tim [Winata] is discussing with the auditor tonight ;).’” Someone wasn’t paying attention in tax fraud 101 during the lesson titled “Use Telegram, Dumbass.”

WTF does it mean for us?

Probably the least surprising part of all of this is that shares were down less than 15% after hours.

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+ It’s Larry Ellison’s world, and we’re all just living in it…

Remember yesterday when we talked about a TikTok deal being on the one-yard line? Well, according to “sources familiar with the matter,” a US consortium comprised of Oracle $ORCL ( ▲ 1.49% ), a16z, and Silver Lake will take an 80% stake in TikTok US. ByteDance will own the rest.

But we might have to wait a while to get all the juicy details. POTUS just extended the deadline for a deal… for the fourth time.

+ We don’t deserve Treasury Secretary Scott Bessent…

When asked about his threats against the head of the FHFA Bill Pulte (and his beef with Elon earlier this year), Bessent responded: “Treasury secretaries dating back to Alexander Hamilton have a history of dueling.” Friendly reminder for those of you who still haven’t seen Hamilton/don’t have a general understanding of American history: Aaron Burr killed Hamilton (the first Treasury Secretary) in a literal duel.

+ “I’m about to say ‘lawyer up’ so mf’ing loud”…

Google’s $GOOGL ( ▼ 0.18% ) hot streak continues. Last week, it beat antitrust charges (technically, it was found guilty, but didn’t have to sell off Chrome). On Monday, it hit a $3T market cap, and yesterday, Gemini hit #1 in the App Store.

I know what you’re thinking (“Gemini… as in the Bing of AI Chatbots?!"). Well, technically, Gemini is getting all the love, but it was Google’s AI video editing tool (Nano Banana) that drove the massive spike in downloads. Nano Banana doesn’t have a standalone app. According to Google, Banana drove more than 13M app downloads… in the last week alone.

How does Elon fit into this? You might recall that the Nick Cannon of Silicon Valley is suing Apple for allegedly making it impossible for any AI chatbot (besides ChatGPT) to hit #1 in the App Store. This certainly throws a wrench in his plans…

+ “Ok, but don’t give it a name that screams military industrial complex.” - Marc Benioff after signing off on Salesforce’s new “defense contractor” suite of tools

Yesterday, Salesforce $CRM ( ▼ 1.32% ) announced a new line of business focused on national security. The SaaS optimized for civilian casualties carpet bombing the defense sector will be dubbed Missionforce. The other option was a CRM for the LDS…

+ This is a millennial’s wet dream. LimeWire (yes, that LimeWire… well, kinda) is buying the rights to Fyre Festival.

You might recall that back in 2022, two Austrian dudes bought what was left of LimeWire’s IP and used it to launch an NFT project. Name something more 2022… I’ll wait. Now, it will own the rights to the Fyre Festival brand. It didn’t offer a ton of detail, but the company did say in a press release that its vision includes “real-world experiences, community, and surprise.”

+ US stocks “edged slightly lower on Tuesday as investors took some profits ahead of a highly-awaited Federal Reserve interest rate decision.” (CNBC)

+ The 10-year yield “moved lower on Tuesday as investors looked to the Federal Reserve’s interest rate decision this week.” (CNBC)

+ Oil “rose over a dollar a barrel on Tuesday, as traders weighed the possibility that Russian supplies may be disrupted by Ukrainian drone attacks on its ports and refineries, and awaited the Federal Reserve’s decision on U.S. interest rates.” (Reuters)

+ The “smart” money (prediction markets) thinks there’s a 38% chance Cracker Barrel says “rebrand” during its earnings call. (Kalshi)

⏪ Yesterday…

+ Workday hosted its financial analyst day

+ Ralph Lauren Corporation hosted an investor meeting

+ The US Census Bureau dropped the July Retail Sales report

⏩ Today we’re keeping an eye on…

+ General Mills reports after the close

+ StubHub Holdings will IPO

+ Meta will hold its flagship Meta Connect conference

+ The Federal Reserve will announce its interest rate decision, and J-Poww will hold a press conference

Yesterday, I asked, “What's the best overall food city in the US?”

37.7% of you said “NYC.“

Here’s what some of you guys had to say…

Here’s today’s question…

Going on a bachelor party this weekend…

Oh, and one more thing…

Sent from my Amazon Fire Phone. Please excuse any mistakes and typos.

Does this look like the face of a guy you should take financial advice from?

No, it’s the face of an individual who is financially irresponsible/dumb enough to be talked into spending money on a family photo shoot that he could have just done with his iPhone. So, act accordingly...

This is not financial advice. Nothing in this newsletter is an investment recommendation. All content is created for entertainment, educational, or informational purposes only. Do your own research, or do yourself a favor and hire a professional.