This video of Zuck is so hard to watch. It almost (almost…) makes you feel for him. Luckily, he doesn’t have a soul.

Here’s what else we’re getting into today…

Enjoy the next 4 minutes and 20 seconds of blue-chip news and commentary.

Keep on snapping necks and cashing checks,

- tyler

Note: stocks, Treasury yield, and oil prices reflect Friday’s trading…

+ US stocks “slid Friday after yet another hot inflation report stoked fears that Federal Reserve rate cuts may not arrive until later than anticipated this year.” (CNBC)

+ The 10-year Treasury yield “climbed on Friday after January wholesaler prices came in higher than expected." (CNBC)

+ Oil prices “settled higher on Friday as geopolitical tensions in the Middle East more than offset a forecast from the International Energy Agency for slowing demand.” (Reuters)

+ Bitcoin “is on track to carve out its sixth straight month of gains, a rare occurrence that has only transpired once since 2013.” (Cryptoslate)

+ The three most talked about stocks on WallStreetBets in the past 24 hours were: 1) Super Micro Computer -19.9% 2) Nvidia -0.06% 3) C3.ai -4.3%

The market moves you need to know about…

– Nintendo taking a page out of the GTA 5 playbook. Shares fell 5.8% (in Japan) on Monday following news that the Switch 2 could be delayed until 2025.

All other Uppers & Downers reflect Friday’s trading…

– Go call your mom. Tupperware’s stock dropped 2.1% after hours on Friday on news that it’s “exploring strategic alternatives.” Shares are down 67% in the past year.

+ I was today years old when I found out that Guess? still exists. The denim maker rose 3.8% after it announced it was acquiring rag & bone, and a report said the combined company could be a take-private target.

– Dropbox plummeted 23.1% after the company reported an earnings beat… but shared disappointing guidance.

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“Gee, sure would be a shame if someone blocked that deal…” - US antitrust regulators

Capital One is acquiring Discover Financial Services in a $35.3B all-stock deal. I’ll save you the trouble… that’s a 26% premium to Discover’s closing price on Friday.

The acquisition will be one of the largest this year outside the energy sector. And I got receipts… Discover’s market cap sits at $27.6B and Capital One’s is $52.2B.

The combination would help Capital One jump Citi and Amex to become the second-largest credit card issuer in the US. That would leave just the biggest swingin’ d*ck (Chase) ahead of it.

And that could be a problem. The deal could face scrutiny from the fun police in DC if recent history is any indication.

Y tho?

The deal makes sense for Capital One. It brings more cardholders and deposits into the fold. And, most importantly, provides Samuel L. Jackson with an entirely new product line to shamelessly shill…

But getting the deal done could be even more important to Discover. You see, it turns out the financial services giant has been doing its best Wells Fargo impression. In October 2023 it was hit with a consent order by the FDIC related to some sketchy consumer compliance practices dating back to 2007.

It didn’t have to pay a fine, but it did have to promise to get its sh*t together. The probe led to the ouster of then-CEO Roger Hochschild.

Oh, and it probably didn’t help that Discover’s profit plummeted 60%+ in Q4. To be fair, banks across the board were hit hard as they ramped up their provisions for loan losses.

+ We’ve coached 25,000 Navy SEALs, Google employees and Olympic athletes—what makes them highly successful (Read)

+ Why soft skills are in great demand in today’s workforce (Read)

~ ICYMI... This Guy Says $150-225K Is the 'Worst Salary Range' You Can Have (Read)

+ Bad week to be on the board of a company that Carl Icahn has a stake in…

Early last week, Carl landed two seats on the board of American Electric Power. Then, on Friday, he secured JetBlue (+2.3% after hours Friday) board seats for two of his henchmen.

JetBlue decided rather quickly that a proxy fight wasn’t worth it. Carl had revealed his 10% stake on Monday.

The big picture… JBLU is up ~20% since Icahn announced his activist campaign. It appears that JetBlue shareholders are desperate open to some constructive criticism, given the airline was caught with its pants down in the aftermath of its failed acquisition of Spirit (thanks a lot, DOJ).

+ Wake up, babe… new Hindenburg short report just dropped.

Short seller Hindenburg ID’ed its latest victim on Friday. Meet, Temenos (-4.6% Friday), a Swiss-listed software player.

Hindenburg claims that Temenos has used every piece of accounting f*ckery in the game to cook its books. Think: “roundtripped revenue, sham partnerships, rampant pulling forward of contract renewals, backdated contracts, excessive capitalization of seemingly non-existent R&D investments.”

You’re not going to believe this, but Temenos’ denies the claims. Investors didn’t buy it, though. Shares are down 31% since the news dropped.

+ Nike (-2.4% Friday) said that it plans to lay off ~1.5k employees… presumably after running the numbers and realizing it can’t pay its child laborers any less. And it checks out… the sneaker and apparel brand has a goal of realizing $2B in savings over the next 3-years. (Read)

+ CPI data: *comes in hot*

PPI: “Hold my beer.”

We got more concerning inflation data on Friday (…in case you were wondering why markets got rocked). The producer price index rose 0.3% for the month. Not only is that the biggest jump since August, but it’s well above estimates of 0.1%. (Read)

Here's what I'm keeping an eye on today...

+ Walmart, Home Depot, Caesars Entertainment, Palo Alto Networks, and Medtronic report

Yesterday I asked, “What’s the best workday lunch in the game?”

43.9% of weekday warriors voted deli sandwich. Three martinis and salad took the 2 and 3 spot.

Here’s today’s question…

We got the first photo of SBF in prison… and he looks pretty much the same as he did when he was a billionaire.

Oh, and one more thing…

Does this look like the face of a guy you should take financial advice from?

No, it’s the face of an individual who is financially irresponsible/dumb enough to be talked into spending money on a family photo shoot that he could have just done with his iPhone. So, act accordingly...

This is not financial advice. Nothing in this newsletter is an investment recommendation. All content is created for entertainment, educational, or informational purposes only. Do your own research, or do yourself a favor and hire a professional