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Hey there weekday warrior,

Here’s what’s on the agenda today…

The White House just made a deal with the devil (Pfizer), Nike is so back, and (shocker) OpenAI is launching a social app.

Enjoy the next 4 minutes and 17 seconds of blue-chip news and commentary.

Keep on snapping necks and cashing checks,

PS, loving The Water Coolest? Forward it to someone you’re going to send OpenAI “Reels” to. If you CC me ([email protected]), I’ll send you both something.

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Red, white, and blue pilled

Or as Tom Wambsgans calls it… the “closed loop system”

Price of the brick going up down…

Today in things that seem made up, but aren’t… the White House and Pfizer $PFE ( ▲ 6.79% ) teamed up (if I stopped right there, it would still be a head scratcher) to launch TrumpRx. And it’s exactly what it sounds like… a website that offers discounted Pfizer (and other manufacturers) drugs directly to citizens of the United States of America.

Meanwhile

As part of a separate agreement, Pfizer will also provide all of its drugs to the US Medicare program at the “most favored nation” price. Most favored nation is basically a price match guarantee, except instead of Family Sized Doritos (Cool Ranch) Flavored Jack Link’s Beef Jerky, it’s for the pneumococcal pneumonia vaccine.

Plus, the US gets any new drugs at the reduced prices, and PFE pinky promised to spend $70B on investment in manufacturing in the US (…. to which Sam Altman replied, “You gotta pump those numbers up…”).

But big pharma gonna big pharma…

Pfizer didn’t make the move because it’s particularly fond of the human race, you guys. In exchange for offering pfat discounts to the American people, the drugmaker will get a 3-year exemption from the 100% pharma tariffs POTUS introduced last week.

WTF does it mean for us?

The haters don’t think TrumpRx or the Medicare deal will move the needle…

Analysts and “experts” (mostly people on Twitter) were quick to point out that most of the drugs listed on TrumpRx are already available at heavy discounts through “patient assistance” programs. Plus, drugs sold to the US government are already relatively cheap.

Not to mention, pretty much everyone who doesn’t believe that crystals cure cancer has insurance, either through an employer or courtesy of Uncle Sam.

And in case you need pfurther proof that the deal probably won’t make a dent in out-of-control healthcare costs, keep in mind Pfizer didn’t adjust their guidance to reflect significant margin contraction…

Gelt secures $13M series A to evolve tax strategy

Shoutout to my friends at Gelt. They just raised a $13M Series A.

You’re probably thinking, “Cool story, bro, but how does that help me?!” Well, Gelt is planning to mainline that fat stack of VC money directly into its platform’s AI capabilities and hiring.

That means delivering even better tax planning, compliance, and strategy services while hiring top-tier CPA to work directly with you (think: business owners who want to use their taxes as a lever for growth).

If there was ever a time to jump on the Gelt ship… it’s now. With deadlines creeping up, you want their team in your corner…

Unlike traditional firms that focus on filings, Gelt operates year-round. By pairing elite CPAs with proprietary AI, Gelt delivers proactive tax strategies that adapt as businesses grow—helping founders, entrepreneurs, and investors keep more of what they earn while scaling smarter.

Gelt is redefining the future of tax strategy—and this Series A is only the beginning.

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+ “You sandbagging son of a b*tch.” - investors to Nike CEO Elliott Hill

Nike $NKE ( ▲ 6.41% ) got a much-needed W yesterday. After setting expectations low last quarter (read: “We ExPECt A mID-SiNGlE DiGiT pErCenTaGe DrOp In sAlEs iN tHe qUarTer”), the Swoosh reported *checks notes* 1% revenue growth. The top and bottom line beat sent shares up 4.5% after hours.

And it appears the sneaker maker is hoping to under promise and over deliver again. It’s predicting sales to shrink by mid-single digits in the current quarter…

+ Who could have possibly seen this coming? OpenAI is reportedly about to launch a TikTok-like app, but instead of day-in-the-life videos with real people, it’s going to be AI-generated brain rot. What a time to be alive…

+ Find someone who looks at you like Warren Buffett looks at Occidental…

You might recall that the only thing Warren Buffett likes more than McDonald’s breakfast and open relationships is Occidental Petroleum $OXY ( ▲ 1.0% ). Berkshire currently owns nearly 33% of Oxy’s outstanding shares. And now, the Oracle of Omaha is reportedly closing in on buying OxyPetro’s less stable sister OxyChem for ~$10B.

+ Let’s play a game… Gustav Söderström and Alex Norström are…

A) Members of the Swedish House Mafia

B) The founders of IKEA

C) The new co-CEOs of Spotify

The company that ran because Napster walked is shaking things up. Daniel Ek will step down as CEO of Spotify $SPOT ( ▲ 0.38% ) on January 1, 2026. He’ll be replaced by current co-presidents Gustav Söderström and Alex Norström. Nothing says “I think I’m irreplaceable” quite like co-CEOs.

+ Live look at Firefly Aerospace’s CEO…

Rocket maker Firefly $FLY ( ▼ 9.04% ), which went public last month, was reminded why SpaceX is still private. Shares plummeted more than 20% after one of their rocket tests failed (read: it exploded in spectacular fashion).

+ If you thought Alexa was disappointing… just wait til you get your hands on Alexa+. At its hardware event yesterday, Amazon $AMZN ( ▲ 0.48% ) announced a handful of smart speakers and voice-activated displays that will come equipped with the company’s reworked, AI-powered Alexa. The products no one asked for will begin shipping at the end of this month and come equipped with “early access” to Alexa+.

+ You know you done f*cked up when Andrew Ferguson’s FTC is coming for your sorry a**. The Federal Trade Commission called BS on Zillow’s $Z ( ▼ 4.63% ) “partnership” with Redfin $RKT ( ▲ 1.08% ) (which is now owned by Rocket Companies). Zillow paid Redfin $100M to be Redfin’s “advertising partner.” The FTC claims Zillow essentially paid off Redfin to exit the real estate advertising biz…

+ US stocks “were higher after the close on Tuesday, as gains in the Healthcare, Telecoms and Industrials sectors led shares higher.” (Investing.com)

+ The 10-year yield “was relatively unchanged as investors assessed the growing risk of a potential federal government shutdown.” (CNBC)

+ Oil “settled lower on Tuesday as investors braced for a supply surplus due to potential OPEC+ plans for a larger output hike next month and the resumption of oil exports from Iraq’s Kurdistan region via Turkey.” (Reuters)

+ The “smart” money (prediction markets) thinks there’s an 80% chance NVIDIA will be the biggest company by market cap at the end of 2025. (Polymarket)

⏪ Yesterday…

+ Paychex reported before the open

+ Nike reported after the bell

+ Amazon held a hardware reveal event

⏩ Today we’re keeping an eye on…

+ Cal-Maine Foods reports before the bell

+ Google is holding a Gemini hardware event… in case you didn’t get your fill from Amazon

Yesterday, I asked, “Your kid (think: under 5) can only watch one of their favorite shows for the rest of time. Which are you keeping?”

41.4% of you picked “Bluey.“

Here’s what some of you guys had to say…

  • Bluey: “Bluey is the only correct answer. And anyone selecting Blippi should be automatically added to a watch list.”

  • Sesame Street: “Bluey is better and would be my pick, but Sesame Street has been on 50 years, so there is less repetition in episodes”

  • Other: “Where the hell is Barney, the big purple dinosaur.”

  • Bluey: “Bluey is GOAT'd. Thanks for not putting Caillou's bald, b*tch a$$ on this poll.”

  • Bluey: “Bluey is therapy disguised as a child’s cartoon series. ”

Here’s today’s question…

Your flight (domestic) leaves at 11:30 AM. You board at 11:00 AM. You live 30 minutes from the airport. What time do you leave your house?

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Sent from my Amazon Fire Phone. Please excuse any mistakes and typos.

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No, it’s the face of an individual who is financially irresponsible/dumb enough to be talked into spending money on a family photo shoot that he could have just done with his iPhone. So, act accordingly...

This is not financial advice. Nothing in this newsletter is an investment recommendation. All content is created for entertainment, educational, or informational purposes only. Do your own research, or do yourself a favor and hire a professional.