Here’s what’s on the agenda today…

Robinhood is becoming the everything app for degens, Viking Therapeutics shares some brutal drug trial results, and a massive local TV acquisition.

Enjoy the next 4 minutes and 10 seconds of blue-chip news and commentary.

Keep on snapping necks and cashing checks,

– tyler

PS, loving The Water Coolest? Forward it to someone who sucks at sports gambling predicting. If you CC me ([email protected]), I’ll send you both something.

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Just me, or does Vlad Tenev seem like the kinda guy who asks everyone to be quiet during the Super Bowl commercials because that’s the only reason he watches?

Robinhood $HOOD ( 0.0% ) is one Shopify integration with Zyn away from being the official App of 27-year-olds who still talk about being pledge master of their fraternity.

In the least surprising announcement of all time, HOOD is rolling out “prediction markets” for pro and college football. Sorry, MACtion stans, power 4 only…

The writing was on the wall, of course. The company already rolled out sports gambling predicting in-app, but focused on the sports that were in season (think: MLB, WNBA, and EPL).

Robinhood is partnering with Kalshi on the derivatives platform, which will help it circumvent jumping through countless hoops for the fun police over at the CFTC.

But, bad news for all the real degens… the “prop” predictions Kalshi just rolled out (think: how many TDs an individual player will score) won’t be available on Robinhood (... yet).

What does it all mean?

Kalshi and Robinhood are looking to hoover up market share ahead of Polymarket’s return to the prediction game. Last month, Polymarket announced plans to enter the US market (again) after acquiring a small derivatives exchange.

The move is also a shot across the bow of actual sports gambling companies that are playing by an entirely different set of rules. DraftKings $DKNG ( ▼ 1.27% ) and other sportsbook app stonks fell on news that Robinhood will let you parlay same-day way-out-of-the-money options with the Monday Night Football result.

What a time to be alive…

When the founder who sold his last company to Zillow for $120M starts a new venture, people notice. That’s why the same VCs who backed Uber, Venmo, and eBay also invested in Pacaso.

Disrupting the real estate industry once again, Pacaso’s streamlined platform offers co-ownership of premier properties, revamping the $1.3T vacation home market.

And it works. By handing keys to 2,000+ happy homeowners, Pacaso has already made $110M+ in gross profits in their operating history.

Now, after 41% YoY gross profit growth last year alone, they recently reserved the Nasdaq ticker PCSO.

Invest for $2.90/Share

_{Paid advertisement for Pacaso’s Regulation A offering. Read the offering circular at invest.pacaso.com. Reserving a ticker symbol is not a guarantee that the company will go public. Listing on the NASDAQ is subject to approvals.}

+ “And for that reason, I’m out…” - Viking Therapeutics phase 2 trial participants after the most mild of inconveniences

Shares of Viking $VKTX ( ▼ 2.03% ) got rocked after the company reported some less-than-stellar results from the phase 2 trials for its weight loss pill candidates. The good news is that candidates lost a bunch of weight (26.6 pounds on average). The bad news? More than 28% of participants discontinued the treatment before the trial ended…

That probably had something to do with more than a quarter of users reporting vomiting… and 100% of them having absolutely no self-control.

+ *the FTC has entered the chat*

Nexstar $NXST ( ▲ 1.59% ) is buying Tegna $TGNA ( ▲ 0.07% ) for $3.5B to create a local TV “powerhouse”… presumably after Waystar Royco declined to bid.

Together, the companies will provide award-winning coverage of fentanyl overdoses and local teachers sleeping with students to 80% of TV households in the US. And as soon as your mom finds out about this in 3 weeks on Facebook, you'd better expect a phone call asking what it means for her favorite local anchor.

+ Uncle Sam to chip makers…

Remember that time the White House said it planned to take a stake in Intel $INTC ( ▼ 2.39% ) (which got investors more horned up than Chamath looking at pictures of himself)? Well, it turns out the “investment” might just be the money promised to Intel via the CHIPS Act. The billions earmarked for grants, tax breaks, and loan guarantees under the Biden administration would be converted to equity if POTUS gets his way.

But the administration doesn’t want to put all its eggs in one basket. Commerce Secretary Howard Lutnick is looking to diversify the United States’ portfolio via shares of other semiconductor makers (in return for CHIPS funds). Looking at you, Micron, Taiwan Semi, and Samsung…

+ “It’s so f*cking big.” - you, probably

All signs point towards a Fed rate cut in September. That means girthy interest rates on high-yield savings accounts will likely start to come down. But there’s still time to take advantage. And the experts at FinanceBuzz just ranked the best HYSAs available this month (you can earn up to 4.25% on some of them). Find the high-yield savings account that’s right for you. [FYI, this is a partner post]

+ We’ve officially reached the “AI-enabled mattresses” part of the hype cycle…

Eight Sleep, the mattress cover Zuck has missionary (eyes closed) on sleeps on is raising a $100M series D. The makers of the $3k “sleep fitness” device will use a chunk of the investment to fund an “AI agent designed to interpret users’ biometric data and make temperature, elevation, sound and other environmental tweaks while users are sleeping, then offer health and lifestyle recommendations when they wake.” You can’t make this sh*t up…

+ "Anyway, like I was sayin', shrimp is the fruit of the sea. You can barbecue it, boil it, broil it, bake it, saute it. There's uh, shrimp-kabobs, shrimp creole, shrimp gumbo. Pan fried, deep fried, stir-fried. There's pineapple shrimp, lemon shrimp, coconut shrimp, pepper shrimp, shrimp soup, shrimp stew, shrimp salad, shrimp and potatoes, shrimp burger, shrimp sandwich… and radioactive shrimp. That- that's about it." - Benjamin Buford "Bubba" Blue

Regulators are recalling frozen shrimp being sold at Walmart after US Customs detected Cesium-137 in the shipping containers bringing the shellfish stateside. In case you didn’t graduate with a PhD in chemistry, Cs-137 is a byproduct of nuclear reactions and is radioactive af…

+ US stocks “mostly fell on Tuesday as weakness in Big Tech weighed on the broader indexes.” (Yahoo! Finance)

+ The 10-year yield “dipped on Tuesday as investors awaited the Federal Reserve July meeting minutes and its annual Jackson Hole symposium later in the week.” (CNBC)

+ Oil “fell on Tuesday as traders bet that talks over a possible agreement to legitimize or end Russia’s invasion of Ukraine could ease sanctions on Russian crude oil, boosting global supply.” (Reuters)

+ The “smart” money (prediction markets) thinks there’s a 73% chance Focus Friend will be the top US iPhone app tomorrow. (Kalshi)

⏪ Yesterday…

+ Home Depot, Medtronic, and Xpeng reported before the open

⏩ Today we’re keeping an eye on…

+ Target, Lowe's, Baidu, TJX, Estee Lauder, Analog Devices, ZIM, and iQIYI report before the bell

+ Google will hold a Pixel event from New York City with a live YouTube stream

+ The Federal Reserve will release the minutes of its last meeting

Yesterday, I asked, “Do you leave reviews (Yelp, Amazon, Glassdoor) or are you a normal person?”

77.7% of you said “Ain't nobody got time for that.“

Here’s what some of you guys had to say…

Here’s today’s question…

To answer your question: NO, you can’t just resell Monster Energy or Vyvanse. Personal consumption only.

Look ma, I made it…

Oh, and one more thing…

Sent from my Amazon Fire Phone. Please excuse any mistakes and typos.

Does this look like the face of a guy you should take financial advice from?

No, it’s the face of an individual who is financially irresponsible/dumb enough to be talked into spending money on a family photo shoot that he could have just done with his iPhone. So, act accordingly...

This is not financial advice. Nothing in this newsletter is an investment recommendation. All content is created for entertainment, educational, or informational purposes only. Do your own research, or do yourself a favor and hire a professional.