Hey there weekday warriors,
Peloton is charging back up the leaderboard. And Uber is partnering with… Cruise?
Enjoy the next 4 minutes and 33 seconds of blue-chip news and commentary.
Keep on snapping necks and cashing checks,
+ US stocks “rolled over Thursday with tech leading the losses as investors turn their focus to a key speech from Fed Chair Jerome Powell on Friday.” (Yahoo! Finance)
+ The 10-year Treasury yield “rose on Thursday as investors looked ahead to remarks from Federal Reserve Chair Jerome Powell.” (CNBC)
+ Oil “settled up more than 1% on Thursday, as expectations for a U.S. interest rate cut in a few weeks fueled a rebound after four days of price declines.” (Reuters)
+ Bitcoin fell amid “speculation over more token distributions by Mt Gox.” (Investing)
+ The three most talked about stocks on WallStreetBets in the past 24 hours were: 1) Nvidia -3.7% 2) Visa -0.9% 3) Intuitive Machines -1.1%
The market moves you need to know about…
+ Remember Zoom happy hours? *throws up in mouth a little bit* Zoom out here getting its 2021 on. Shares jumped 12.9% after a big beat and hiking its guidance for the full year.
+ Cava is making a strong case for King of the Slop Bowls. The Mediterranean Chipotle beat bigly on the top and bottom lines and raised its full-year guidance, thanks, largely, to adding steak to its menu. I sh*t you not. The stock spiked 9.0% after hours.
It’s time to make credit card miles your entire personality
This card makes it easy to be insufferable about how good your card is.
Earn up to 20,000 miles after spending just $500 on purchases in the first 3 months with this 0% intro APR credit card.
Spoiler: TWC might be compensated if you click on the links above. Hint, hint.
Peloton’s recovery ride
Source: Giphy
Did you hear that? It’s the sound of Peloton (+35.4%) short sellers’ hopes and dreams going the way of Lance Armstrong’s testicle…
The stationary bike maker connected exercise hardware and software manufacturer didn’t even have to mention AI to moon nearly 40% on the day.
Turns out that when expectations are lower than Chris Christie staring down an American Ninja Warriors course, it’s not that hard to impress. PTON beat on the top and bottom lines (it even swung to a profit vs. an expected loss). But what had the Street buzzing was its return to revenue growth.
Sales grew for the first time since… 2021. Don’t @ me with “iT WAs JuST 0.2%.” It was a much-needed win for the exercise equipment maker that literally killed someone a few years ago…
What’s changed at Peloton?
Well, let’s start with what’s still totally and irrevocably f*cked up: sales of its hardware (Bikes and Treads) fell in the quarter. Unfortunately, that’s nothing new.
But, on the bright side, more users are renting and buying used bikes or glorified treadmills. Which leads me to my next point: subscriptions rose 2.3% overall. And subscription sales linked to rented and used hardware jumped 16%.
What does it all mean? That the company’s turnaround appears to be… wait for it… actually working.
It probably didn’t hurt that the company laid off ~15% of its workforce in early 2024 and fired its CEO, Barry McCarthy.
It’s currently a C-Suite by committee at Peloton, but interim CEO Karen Boone said, “I should probably under-promise here, but I am excited to say that I do believe you will be speaking to and hearing from the new CEO of Peloton on this call next quarter.”
+ Investment bankers: “I work too much!”
Canadian railroads: “Hold my beer Labatt Blue.”
Canada’s two biggest railroads (so, like mid-cap RRs by US standards) locked out more than 9k union employees earlier this week. That means trains hauling cargo and Canadians have ground to a halt.
The two sides have walked away from the negotiating table (which is probably just a Tim Hortons booth in Bobcaygeon, Ontario). The railroads and unions don’t see eye to eye on a number of items that could best be categorized as “work-life balance" issues.
CN wants its workers to put in 12-hour shifts vs. the current 10-hour days. Oh, and it wants their mandated time off between shifts to be shorter. Surprisingly, it’s proving difficult to find people to be train engineers in the year of our lord 2024, so the railroads are hoping to squeeze more work out of the employees they do have.
Rail accounted for about 15% of the ~$380B of bilateral trade between Canada and the US in the first half of the year. So, yeah, a prolonged stoppage could have some major economic consequences, eh?
Luckily, it doesn't look like that will happen, as the Canadian government has already stepped in and indicated the two sides will settle their differences via arbitration. Spoiler: that means railroads should be back up and running ASAP.
+ “This is my nightmare.” - Google
Perplexity is coming for the King. The AI-powered search engine, which has been accused of rampant plagiarism, is doing the thing that has most people saying “What took you so long?” Spoiler: it’s going to start selling ads.
The AI search platform, which was most recently valued at $1B, is reportedly circulating a pitch deck that claims 230M month users and insane growth (8x in the US last year). This is why the company is planning to sell ad spots at a wild CPM ($50-ish). To put things in perspective, typical desktop display ads play a few bucks per thousand impressions.
+ Does it count as an Uber Pool if the autonomous vehicle strikes and drags a pedestrian during your ride? Asking for a friend…
Uber (-0.2% // -1.5% after hours) announced after hours that it’s partnering with GM’s Cruise to begin offering self-driving rides next year.
The news was a bit of a head-scratcher, considering Cruise got its license suspended in Cali after one of its driverless vehicles hit and dragged some poor b*stard through the streets of SF.
Oh, and…
+ Walmart partners with Burger King to offer discounted deals to members. Remember when McDonald’s was in Walmart? Bring me back…
+ Biggest diamond in over a century found in Botswana — a whopping 2,492 carats. Oh, cool… how much does the 8-year-old who dug it out of the ground get paid?
+ Ghost jobs: What the rise in fake job listings says about the current job market. Finally, an excuse a reason you can’t get a job…
+ 4 ways to make the most of leftover 529 college savings account money, according to a financial advisor. $10,000 on red.
+ NYC's Rent Surge Drives 86-Year-Old to Move in With a 'Boommate'. Jesus Christ, this is bleak…
🔥 'Self-Run' Car Wash Sells For 140K, New Owner Profits $5K A Month, Only Stops By To Mix Soap And Collect Cash. “Have an A1 day!”
FYI, TWC might be compensated if you click on the links above. So, what are you waiting for? Start clicking.
⏪ Yesterday, we were keeping an eye on earnings from TD Bank, Baidu, Williams-Sonoma, Bilibili, and Peloton before the bell. Intuit, Workday, Cava, and Bill.com reported after the close.
Plus, we got global manufacturing and services PMI reports and existing home sales data.
⏩ Today we’re keeping an eye on…
+ J-Poww speaks from Jackson Hole and everyone will be looking for clues about rate cuts
+ Monthly new home sales data
Yesterday, I asked, “Would you want someone to tell you exactly what you'll be doing in 5 years if you couldn't do anything about it?”
'Nope' won with 75.1% of the vote.
Here’s what some of you guys had to say (and my thoughts in italics)…
Nope: "I don't want to discover that I'll still be planning my exit from consulting next year" This is the saddest sh*t I’ve ever heard.
Yes: "Can't be as bad as what I already envision" Some nightmare scenario like, say, still being in consulting?
Nope: "No. No, man. Sh*t no, man." What would you do if you had a million dollars?
Yes: "If they tell me I'll be dead, I'm gonna party like it's 1999."
Here’s today’s question…
+ This dude who made this diagram tracking who says/receives “f*ck offs” in Succession is a national treasure
Oh, and one more thing…
What did you think about today's newsletter?
Does this look like the face of a guy you should take financial advice from?
No, it’s the face of an individual who is financially irresponsible/dumb enough to be talked into spending money on a family photo shoot that he could have just done with his iPhone. So, act accordingly...
This is not financial advice. Nothing in this newsletter is an investment recommendation. All content is created for entertainment, educational, or informational purposes only. Do your own research, or do yourself a favor and hire a professional.