TOGETHER WITH
Hey there weekday warrior,
Here’s what’s on tap today… #47 went all “pause game” on bombing Iran… for now, ICE got a big demotion (think: TSA’s b*tch), and OpenAI may be letting its mouth write a check its a** can’t cash.
Enjoy the next 3 minutes and 45 seconds of blue-chip news and commentary.
Keep on snapping necks and cashing checks,
Pause game
Truth Social is the new Bloomberg Terminal…
Donny Artillery announced a five-day time-out on plans to bomb Iran’s power plants yesterday.
POTUS posted that the US and Iran have been having “VERY GOOD AND PRODUCTIVE CONVERSATIONS,” which, why is all caps so jarring?
Markets were understandably stoked… temporarily.
See, things got a little weird after the Iranian state media disputed Donny Diplomacy’s claim…
“There is been no negotiation and there is no negotiation, and with this kind of psychological warfare, neither the Strait of Hormuz will return to its pre-war conditions nor will there be peace in the energy markets.”
Tell us how you really feel, Iran…
Things pretty much devolved into a classic he said/Iran said situation from there that had stonks and oil places all over the place.
The good news? It seems like the US is pushing for a deal. The bad news? If it doesn’t happen, #47 says, “We’ll just keep bombing our little hearts out.”
What a time to be alive…
I'll be honest… I spent way too long treating taxes like a to-do list item instead of a strategy
File by April. Pay whatever the number says. Move on. Rinse, repeat, wonder why it always stings.
The problem wasn't that I was doing anything wrong. It's that no one was helping me do anything better. No one was looking at my business and saying, "Hey, here's how you keep more of this."
Enter: Gelt.
They're an AI-native tax firm that pairs you with a dedicated team of licensed CPAs who actually plan ahead… not just file what's in front of them. Here's what stood out:
They come to you. Proactive outreach, not you chasing your accountant down in March, wondering where things stand.
Strategy built for your business. Entity structuring, multi-state optimization, retirement planning… all tailored, not templated.
Real savings. One client saved nearly $10K in a single year just from reorganizing what was already there.
Tax season is here. If you've been winging it, stop.
If you own a business, book a free consultation and grab a strategy session when you sign up before the end of the month.
+ Road trips: *suck and take forever*
Airports lately: “Hold my beer.”
In case you haven’t been on TikTok lately, which, me neither, the average air travel experience is the stuff of nightmares.
Thanks to the partial government shutdown over funding for the DHS, TSA has been nothing short of a sh*tshow at major airports across the country. People are waiting anywhere from 2-6 hours to make it through TSA lines at major airports, as over 50k TSA officers have been working without regular paychecks.
It’s gotten so bad that Donny Security has now deployed everyone’s favorite agency (ICE) to the front lines (read: operating TSA metal detectors).
So, I guess make it a road trip if it’s only 8 hours away? *remembers gas prices are insane*
+ Live fast, die young, bad pimps do it well…
RIP to Leonid Radvinsky, the controversial owner of OnlyF*ns and the reason Sophie Rain is a household name. Leo passed away yesterday at the age of just 43 after a cancer battle.
Friendly reminder that the world’s wealthiest pimp (think: $4.7B net worth) was recently trying to sell his stake in the company for $8B…
Anyway, use code RIP20LEO for 20% off my OF…
Scam Altman is earning his nickname again. Apparently, OpenAI is out there offering PE firms a “guaranteed minimum return of 17.5%” to raise funds for its enterprise venture. Yes, really.
That’s right, the company forecasted to lose a cool $14B in 2026 alone is trying to lock in sweeter PE deals than Anthropic to get to enterprise faster.
> Toyota to invest $1 billion to increase U.S. production in Kentucky, Indiana plants (CNBC) // $1B down, and a promised $9B to go…
> Polymarket Unveils New Insider Trading Rules After Scrutiny (Bloomberg) // Wait, how were these rules not already written somewhere?
> Meta Hires Former Google, Stripe Executives Behind AI Startup Dreamer (Bloomberg) // They’re doing it again…
> Tough day for the shiny rock crowd…
Yesterday I asked, “What's the best movie theater experience?”
40.5% of you said, “Standard movie theater. Popcorn, candy, normal seats.” And, honestly, I am shocked it went this way.
Here’s what some of you guys had to say (and my response in italics)…
Food & drink focused theater (think: Alamo Drafthouse): “It's the same way that I experience TV every day. I still miss those TV tray tables my parents had for the kids.” TV tray tables were the height of human innovation.
NEVER going to movie theaters: “Miss me with the sticky floors and theatre shootings. I'll be on my couch, in my jammies, like God intended." To be fair, in 2026, I’m pretty sure you’re allowed to wear jammies to the movie theater, too.
NEVER going to movie theaters: “Movies are too long. When you can pause a theatre flick to hit the head, then I'll go back in otherwise I'll enjoy it on my 75 incher w/ surround sound." Movie theaters and planes: 2 places guaranteed to make my bladder nervous the second I sit down.
Other (write-in): “Stadium style seats, sneak in a few beers. Crack them open when it gets loud. Have to piss 3 times in Avatar because intermissions don't happen anymore." D*mn you, James Cameron.
Other (write-in): “Top down, drive-in with your best girl.” Didn’t know Danny Zuko reads TWC…
Here’s today’s question(s)…
These videos of airport TSA lines stretching outside for hours unlocks a very specific type of phobia for me... What's the worst thing about the airport experience for you?
+ US stocks “finished Monday's session up more than 1% as oil prices fell after President Donald Trump said he had ordered the military to postpone strikes against Iranian power plants following "productive conversations" with Tehran.” (Reuters)
+ The 10-year yield “fell on Monday after President Donald Trump said further military strikes against Iran had been postponed after “productive” negotiations between the warring sides.” (CNBC)
+ Oil “dropped about 11% on Monday after U.S. President Donald Trump said he would postpone any military strikes against Iranian power plants for five days and cited constructive talks to resolve hostilities in the Middle East, hours before a deadline that threatened to escalate the four-week-old war.” (Reuters)
+ The “smart” money (prediction markets) thinks there’s a 23% chance Callum Turner is our next Bond. Yikes. (Polymarket)
⏪ Yesterday…
+ WeRide reported before the bell
⏩ Today we’re keeping an eye on…
+ GameStop, Braze, and KB Home report before the bell
+ The ShopTalk conference in Las Vegas will get underway
Oh, and one more thing…
What did you think about today's newsletter?
Sent from my Amazon Fire Phone. Please excuse any mistakes and typos.
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