Hey there weekday warrior,
Here’s what’s on tap today… Donny Diplomacy is working things out with Xi, Oracle really wants a data center in New Mexico (like now), and Zuck can’t stop won’t stop making VR products.
Now, enjoy the next 3 minutes and 28 seconds of blue-chip news and commentary.
Keep on snapping necks and cashing checks,
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Panda-monium
Good news for Chinese AI copycats…
Xi Jinping landed at Joint Base Andrews Wednesday, and Donny Diplomacy personally went to pick him up (along with B-1 bombers, a 21-gun salute, a red carpet… and a free Ozempic sampler, probably).
Friendly reminder: a President hasn’t actually done that since Obama did it for the Pope eleven years ago, which, probably nothing.
Anyway, yesterday kicked off (hopefully) friendly meetings on trade, Taiwan, Iran, and AI. So NBD.
Best news first, “panda diplomacy” is alive and well… Atlanta Zoo is about to get 2 more pandas, so we got that going for us, which is nice.
Now, on to the good news: Scotty B. has already confirmed that the trade truce has been extended for another 2 months, to January 10.
On the AI front, Donny Technology has been opposing more regulations, and Xi agreed. Per the People’s Republic leader, the US and China “both have the capability and responsibility to develop and manage AI for good, and ensure that the development of AI is always under human control and serves the well-being of the people.”
Probably more to come on that front, given Scam Altman and Jenny from the Block Huang are on the guest list…
Meanwhile, the Senate tried to flex yesterday with a vote on the War Powers Resolution to push #47 to end hostilities in Iran, but it failed to pass (the whole thing was technically symbolic anyway…).
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+ Hardcor-acle
Oracle $ORCL ( ▼ 3.47% ) stonk dropped bigly yesterday after Bloomberg broke the news that Larry sent a force majeure notice to its New Mexico data center developer (a unit of Blue Owl Capital $OWL ( ▼ 3.65% ) btw) to get sh*t on track.
Turns out, Project Jupiter has stalled out in the Land of Enchantment thanks to local opposition and legal red tape.
Oracle needs Jupiter online in 2028… or else.
+ Nobody:
Zuck: “Did someone say VR?”
The Metaverse is so f*cking back.
The white belt wonder revealed Meta’s new VR glasses this week because f*ck the haters.
You could (but won’t) get your hands on those bad boys in 2027 for $1,300. Or you could (but won’t) buy the new Muse Charm, a little handheld device that connects to your Muse AI agent.
Friendly reminder: Muse has been crushing it at the top of Apple’s $AAPL ( ▼ 0.33% ) App Store, but Amazon $AMZN ( ▲ 0.04% ) isn’t having it. So Muse can do just about everything right now except help your wife order stuff on Prime, which, actually, that’s a feature, not a bug…
+ Home Drone Depot
So Lowe’s $LOW ( ▼ 1.5% ) is doing drone delivery now…
DoorDash $DASH ( ▼ 0.92% ) and Alphabet’s $GOOG ( ▲ 1.2% ) Wing are joining the mashup no one asked for to bring over 100 Temu Home Depot products to your door, as long as you live within a 5-mile radius of Matthews, North Carolina.
Max payload: 2.5 lbs.
Will let you know when they can bring you more than a box of screws.
AI news from people who build AI
TLDR AI is the free daily brief curated by Anthropic and ex-Google engineers. The stories, models, and research they'd send a colleague, summarized for 1.1M+ readers.
> New York sues Polymarket, accuses company of running illegal gambling operation // “F*ck you, pay me.” -Uncle Sam, always
> Starbucks to close 250 stores // RIPSL
> (Wednesday) OpenAI agent hacked into Australian government website, says PM Anthony Albanese // Crikey.
> (Wednesday) McDonald’s investor day: CEO Chris Kempczinski discusses inflation // That bite is gonna haunt Chris forever...
> (Tuesday) Apple Developing New Fitness Tracker Aimed at Rivaling Whoop // Oura better IPO quick AF.
On Tuesday, I asked, “How down bad do you have to be to buy a laptop from Google?”
65% of you said, “Practically homeless before I’d do that.” Mmmkay but let’s see what you say when they hire Sydney Sweeney for their next commercial…
Here’s what some of you guys had to say (and my response in italics)…
Practically homeless: “I will be sleeping on the grate with a Surface.” Somehow the Surface makes it worse huh?
Hell yeah: “google>apple. sue me.” Maps, yes. Hardware... nah.
Maybe the Googlebook will be ok: “Tried responding on my Chromebook….” Lemme guess, it crashed?
Other (write-in): “Regular people are allowed to buy Google laptops? I thought they were exclusively for K-12 students.” This is the real market.
Practically homeless: “It would be the laptop I have to get after my intervention regarding sports gambling.” New fantasy punishment just dropped.
Here’s today’s question(s)…
I'm not saying it won't work one day, but... Why didn't VR work yet?
+ US stocks finished flat Tuesday (S&P 500: 0.00%) as another Nasdaq record offset a Dow drop, sank Wednesday (S&P 500: -0.8%) as a hot economic report and a brutal bond market stoked inflation fears, then closed flat again Thursday (S&P 500: -0.02%) as the Mag 7 held the line against surging yields.
+ The 10-year yield sat unchanged Tuesday, popped more than 13 basis points Wednesday to 5.104% (its highest since July 2007) on strong data and a poorly received 5-year auction, then surged again Thursday to 5.223%, a level unseen since June 2007.
+ Oil fell Tuesday to a two-week low as Gulf supply fears eased (Iran floated reopening Hormuz within a week, Saudi set to restart Yanbu), rallied Wednesday to snap a five-session slide with Brent up 3.86% to $103.08 as a quick Iran deal looked less likely, then rose again Thursday but came off its highs on reports of phased US-Iran talks in New York. Iran keeps everyone guessing.
+ The “smart” money (prediction markets) thinks there’s a 71% chance September unemployment comes in above 4%. (Polymarket)
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