TOGETHER WITH
Hey there weekday warrior,
Bill Ackman reminded everyone he’s still got his fastball (read: buying stocks popular amongst retail investors).
Enjoy the next 4 minutes and 27 seconds of blue-chip news and commentary.
Keep on snapping necks and cashing checks,
Cash cab
Bill Ackman took a break from giving Kanye a run for his money for being the most unhinged person on social media to tweet about the kinda stuff you'd expect a hedge fund manager to tweet about...
Friday afternoon, Dollar Bill announced that he had built a $2B stake in Uber (+6.5%). Better late than never, I guess? For those of you keeping score at home, the ‘Uber of cars’ has a market cap just shy of $160B.
It’s an interesting turn of events, given his history with the company. You might recall that Ackman made himself look like a doofus last year when he got Community Noted for alleging that NYC cab drivers (spoiler: you can hail cabs on Uber) were getting stiffed by Uber. From the back seat of a cab, he claimed the company was not sending tips to cabbies and acted like he just uncovered the next Enron.
Welp, life comes at ya fast. Turns out they do get their tips… even the sh*tty $5 one the billionaire left his driver.
Unsurprisingly, the news of Ackman's investment through his hedge fund Pershing Square got the people going. It sent the stock up more than 9%. The ride-sharing service that regularly stuffs Lyft in a locker ended the day up 6.5%... presumably because investors had the chance to digest Bill’s entire X post about the move.
“Got a tip from my friend Ed.”
Because he's the Kyrie Irving of investing, Bill couldn't just say "I like the stock." No, that’d be too logical. Ackman used the announcement to name-drop Tyler Durden Edward Norton, thanking the A-lister for introducing him to the app.
In the same tweet, he referenced the "erratic" Travis Kalanick years at Uber, which is rich considering this is the same dude who once fought an old man on CNBC.
To be fair, he did praise CEO Dara K. and indicate that Uber “can still be purchased at a massive discount to its intrinsic value.”
Makes sense...
Uber makes a ton of sense for Ackman's portfolio, given his fund's strategy ("invest like a 14-year-old YOLOing his Bar Mitzvah money into a Robinhood account”). Friendly reminder: some of Ackman's favorite stocks include Domino’s Pizza and Chipotle. Same.
The Biggest Disruption to IP Since Disney–The Clock is Ticking…
Elf Labs isn’t your regular startup. This powerhouse in the making has over 100 historic trademark victories, including Cinderella, Snow White, and The Little Mermaid. The same legendary characters that generated over $46 billion for Disney. Now Elf Labs is scaling their iconic portfolio.
Think AI-powered talking toys, revolutionary headset-free VR, and 3 new princess franchises spanning 30+ markets. They’re not just tapping into the $350B merchandise market. They’re aiming at the entire $2 trillion media market—with multiple verticals & big announcements imminent.
The round is closing in less than 3 days and there are limited shares left.
Disclosure: This is a paid advertisement for Elf Labs’ Regulation CF offering. Please read the offering circular at elflabs.com.
+ “It’s complicated…” - the Bureau of Labor Statistics
A new jobs report just dropped… and so did job creation. January saw the addition of 143k jobs, falling short of expectations of 169k (nice!). But before you freak out, unemployment actually dropped to 4%, down 0.1% from December.
Meanwhile, Americans are seriously (snapping necks and) cashing checks. Wages jumped 0.5% for the month (that’s 4.1% YOY), beating estimates. Long story short, eggs are expensive, and Daddy J-Poww still won’t give us a rate cut anytime soon.
+ Ask not what America can do for you, ask what you as an American can buy now and pay for later.
Affirm (+21.8%) is out here proving that Americans simply can’t stop won’t stop buying things we can’t afford. Shares mooned after the layaway service for online Fl*shlight purchases reported a surprise profit of 23 cents/share. Analysts were expecting a loss of 15 cents per share.
Affirm reported $866M in revenue, thanks to a strong holiday shopping season. It doesn’t hurt that Affirm has locked in partnerships with Apple (-2.4%), Amazon (-4.0%), and Shopify (-0.9%). Klarna is so f*cked.
+ LinkedIn is about to get flooded with “I never thought it would happen to me…” posts (from the types of people it definitely happens to all the time).
Meta (+0.3%) will begin cutting workers today via email, even though it’d be funnier to do it in the Metaverse. Zuckerbot warned last month that layoffs were on the way for “low performers” in a leaked memo earlier this month. Meta really can’t keep anything secret. Place has more leaks than a submarine with a screen door.
The Facebook plans to gut 5% of its workforce, and the first of the pink slip emails are scheduled to go out to a few thousand hungover employees in *checks watch* T-minus 2 hours. Next up corporate turnaround to-do list: mandatory jiu-jitsu training and smoked meats in the cafeteria.
+ “CFPB RIP” - Elon. Employees of the Consumer Financial Protection Bureau received notice to WFH until February 14 while DOGE holds HQ hostage and plunders all its data. To be honest, kinda a dream scenario the day after the big game…
+ Activist investor Elliott Investment Management is building a stake in BP, which makes sense given the big oil co has been doing its best Deepwater Horizon impression underperforming compared to its competitors for the last 5 years.
+ It would have been so much funnier if POTUS announced the 25% tariffs on all steel and aluminum imports with a Super Bowl ad instead of telling reporters on the way to the big game.
+ Get in loser, we’re switching to Xbox Live. Sony’s PlayStation Network went down Friday evening into Saturday, affecting over 69k virgins users.
+ Shein knows a thing or two about slashing prices. Temu for clothes will cut its valuation to $50B (from $66B) prior to its London IPO thanks to Trump’s 10% tariff on China and the end of the ‘de minimis’ exemption that allowed packages worth less than $800 to ship to the US duty-free.
+ ‘Super Bowl flu’ could cost businesses over $3B as millions plan to call out sick after the big game: study. I remember my first hangover…
+ 43 years ago, Steve Jobs said this is what sets highly successful people apart—how to master the skill. Judging by everything I’ve read about him, it’s probably something about being a d*ck to literally everyone.
+ Could an Eagles Super Bowl victory tank the stock market? History says yes, but logic says no. Are you happy now, Travis Kelce?
FYI, TWC might be compensated if you click on the links above. So, what are you waiting for? Start clicking.
+ US stock “indexes closed lower on Friday after President Donald Trump said he plans to announce reciprocal tariffs on many countries next week, following weak jobs and consumer sentiment data.” (Reuters)
+ The 10-year yield “rose after a preliminary report suggested U.S. consumers’ expectations for inflation are jumping and the latest update on the U.S. job market came in mixed. President Donald Trump also said an announcement on tariffs is likely early next week.” (Yahoo! Finance)
+ Oil “prices finished with daily gains on Friday after new sanctions were imposed on Iran's crude exports but prices were down for the week as investors worried about U.S. President Donald Trump's renewed trade war on China and threats of tariffs on other countries.” (Reuters)
+ The three most talked about stocks on WallStreetBets in the past 24 hours were: 1) Nvidia +0.9% 2) C3.ai -0.5% 3) Tesla -3.3%
⏪ Friday, Titan America IPOed and we got the January jobs report
⏩ Today we’re keeping an eye on…
+ McDonald's, Monday.com (I applaud the commitment to the Monday morning reporting bit), and ON Semi report before the bell
+ Vertex reports after markets close
+ Flutter and DraftKings could be volatile depending on the Super Bowl outcome (spoiler: it’s the biggest gambling day of the year)…
Yesterday, I asked, “What's the greatest mall store of the 2000s?”
Spencer’s won and it wasn’t even close…
Spencer's
Sharper Image
Abercrombie
Hot Topic
Foot Locker
Here’s what some of you guys had to say…
“Brookstone > Sharper Image”
"Jimmy Jazz!”
“STRUCTURE. In the late 90s, this store was hands down the precursor to peak metrosexualism. I can almost feel the highlights coming back into my hair...”
And here’s today’s question…
What was the best Super Bowl commercial yesterday?
Reply directly to this message. Bonus points for YouTube links.
Oh, and one more thing…
What did you think about today's newsletter?
Does this look like the face of a guy you should take financial advice from?
No, it’s the face of an individual who is financially irresponsible/dumb enough to be talked into spending money on a family photo shoot that he could have just done with his iPhone. So, act accordingly...
This is not financial advice. Nothing in this newsletter is an investment recommendation. All content is created for entertainment, educational, or informational purposes only. Do your own research, or do yourself a favor and hire a professional.