Before we get into it, let’s hold a moment of silence for BuzzFeed. The inventor of the listicle laid off another 16% of its workforce and sold Complex in a fire sale yesterday.

Here’s what else we’re getting into today…

Enjoy the next 4 minutes and 12 seconds of blue-chip news and commentary.

Keep on snapping necks and cashing checks,

- tyler

+ US stocks “rallied late in the day on Wednesday as investors counted down to high-stakes earnings from AI darling Nvidia and digested the release of Federal Reserve minutes which reiterated the central bank's focus on not cutting interest rates too soon.” (Yahoo! Finance)

+ The 10-year Treasury yield “advanced on Wednesday after meeting minutes from the Federal Reserve showed caution around lowering interest rates too quickly." (CNBC)

+ Oil prices “rose 1% on Wednesday as geopolitical tensions raged on in the Middle East and traders assessed signs of near-term supply tightness.” (Reuters)

+ Bitcoin “drops to 1-week low as traders focus on Bitcoin whales, Nvidia.” (Cointelegraph)

+ The three most talked about stocks on WallStreetBets in the past 24 hours were: 1) Nvidia -2.8% AH: +9.0% 2) Super Micro Computer -6.7% AH: +11.4% 3) C3.ai -3.2% AH: +5.0%

The market moves you need to know about…

+ Foot Locker jumped 2.4% after rumors began swirling that it could be an activist target.

– Weight Watchers got rekt for a second day in a row. Note to social media managers: putting a bunch of overweight influencers in a house and watching what happens when they take Ozempic is “tone-deaf.” WW fell 8.9%… a day after dropping 6.8%.

– Perhaps Carl Icahn should take some of his own advice. Shares of publicly traded Icahn Enterprises are down ~60% in the past year (thanks, Hindenburg). The stock plummeted 9.3% yesterday on news that its asset value is expected to drop. Icahn also installed a new CEO.

“I’m 50 moves ahead of you and everybody else.” - Nvidia CEO, Jensen Huang

If the lead-up to its earnings was any indication, it appears that the fate of the global economy is now in the hands of Nvidia (+9.0% after hours). Luckily for the human race, Jensen Huang’s got that dawg in him.

Nvidia lived up to the hype on Wednesday. It reported a top and bottom line beat. And it wasn’t particularly close. Quarterly revenue came in at $22.1B vs. $20.6B expected. And earnings per share hit $5.15 compared to the Street’s consensus of $4.64.

That’s a 769% increase in net income and a 265% top-line jump year over year, thanks largely to its absolute domination in the AI chip space (duh).

But even revenue in its computer chip biz jumped 56%. It’s NVDA’s world and Intel is just living in it…

Ok, but they can’t keep it up, right?

Apparently, Jensen Huang has never heard of sandbagging. Because Nvidia just promised another absolutely giant quarter.

The chipmaker said it expects revenue for the current quarter to hit $24B. The Street was expecting just $22.1B.

All gas. No brake.

+ Mortgage demand takes a massive hit as interest rates cross back over 7% (Read)

+ 11 Tips For Real Estate Investors To Generate Cash Flow When Interest Rates Are High (Read)

+ Shaquille O’Neal quietly builds massive real estate empire amid ‘dumbass mistakes’ and solitary life (Read)

~ ICYMI... Are You Richer Than You Think? A Surprising Number Of People Consider Themselves 'Poor' But They're Actually In The Top 10% Of Earners (Read)

+ The Fed Minutes were ¯\_(ツ)_/¯.

As expected, the Fed minutes didn’t tell us a whole lot that we didn’t already know. The cliff notes are as follows: no more rate hikes, but no rate cuts any time soon.

The minutes also addressed quantitative tightening, the Fed’s other lever. Spoiler: the Fed is taking it slow with QT too.

Why should I care? Keep in mind that the Fed’s last meeting was in January. Since then, we’ve had some brutal inflation news (CPI and PPI) and a girthy jobs report. That could mean the Fed will wait even longer than they thought they’d need to at their last meeting…

+ Imagine announcing an artificial intelligence partnership with Microsoft, and unveiling a new foundry system for AI chips… and shares still falling.

You almost feel bad for Intel (-2.3%) at this point. Almost. The company’s manufacturing arm announced a yuge deal to produce AI chips for MSFT (so, OpenAI)… and all the market cared about was when Nvidia’s earnings dropped. (Read)

+ After years of wasting countless hours on the platform, 75k Redditors can finally tell their significant others they've earned... the opportunity to buy shares at the IPO price. Reddit announced a plan to share the wealth with its power users. But didn’t indicate how many shares they could buy. The social platform is expected to IPO next month at a roughly $10B valuation. (Read)

+ In case ESPN or any of the countless other scoreboard apps aren’t doing it for you, Apple (+0.4%) just released the Apple Sports app. And if it’s anything like the Weather App, you better not delete Bleacher Report. It’s probably not a stretch to assume that the pretty mundane app is all part of Apple’s broader ambitions in sports (see: streaming rights). (Read)

+ Honestly, the only shocking thing about Boeing (-0.8%) replacing the head of the 737 Max Program is that it took so f*cking long. Enjoy flipping burgers, Ed Clark. He’ll be replaced by Katie Ringgold.

The company also named a “senior vice president of quality for the commercial airplane unit.” Read: the scapegoat next time one of its planes falls out of the sky. (Read)

Here's what I'm keeping an eye on today...

+ PG&E, Dominion Energy, Moderna, Intuit, Booking Holdings, Wayfair, and Carvana report. Spoiler: markets will be driven by one thing, and one thing alone, today: NVDA.

+ A ton of FED Talks.

Yesterday I asked, “Have you bought anything from Temu?”

83.1% of you went all “that’s gonna be a no for me dawg.”

Of those who did buy stuff…

Here’s today’s question…

Oh, and one more thing…

Does this look like the face of a guy you should take financial advice from?

No, it’s the face of an individual who is financially irresponsible/dumb enough to be talked into spending money on a family photo shoot that he could have just done with his iPhone. So, act accordingly...

This is not financial advice. Nothing in this newsletter is an investment recommendation. All content is created for entertainment, educational, or informational purposes only. Do your own research, or do yourself a favor and hire a professional