Hey there weekday warrior. Here’s what’s on tap today… SoftBank wants the last word on 2025 acquisitions, Kash Patel is gunning for the Land of 10k lakes, and bankruptcy is so hot right now.
Enjoy the next 3 minutes and 32 seconds of blue-chip news and commentary.
Keep on snapping necks and cashing checks,
PS, this is the last newsletter of the week. Back on Monday. May your New Year be better than the current one.
New Year, New Management
If there’s one person who knows “you gotta spend money to lose money,” it’s Masa Son (sup, WeWork)…
You see, the Softbank $SFTBY ( ▲ 1.06% ) founder has got a fever, and the only prescription is participating in the AI bubble (preferably at the top).
Yesterday, SoftBank $SFTBY ( ▲ 1.06% ) announced that it’s acquiring DigitalBridge $DBRG ( ▲ 9.63% ) for a mere $4B. Ashtray money, bro.
I’ll go ahead and save you the 10 gallons of water ChatGPT was about to vaporize (just as an orphaned puppy was about to drink it) when you ask it, “what tf is a DigitalBridge?”…
DB (not that one) is an investment firm specializing in digital infrastructure (read: data centers). At last count (September), DigitalBridge was managing around $108B of assets.
Per Masa Son himself, “As AI transforms industries worldwide, we need more compute, connectivity, power, and scalable infrastructure.”
No one tell him they’re putting data centers in space now…
Friendly reminder that SoftBank sold its entire $5.83B stake in Nvidia back in October so that it could go “all in” on its investment in OpenAI.
Which… oops.
When the world gets weird, gold stops being boring
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SHNY and DULL are tools for short-term positioning, hedging, and expressing a view when geopolitics and macro go apesh*t.
(BTW, A+ ticker symbols… no notes)
+ “You’re a phony. A big, fat phony.” - Kash Patel, outside the ‘Learing Center’, probably
In case you’ve been living under a holiday rock, some sh*t’s been going down in the North Star State. “Independent journalist” and top-notch rage-baiter Nick Shirley went viral with a video investigating what appears to be some widespread fraud involving Minnesota daycare and health care centers.
If true, it’s the kinda thing that would make the Enron boys pitching a tent. Now Kash Patel and the FBI are bringing an investigation to Minnesota… which I hear is lovely this time of year. Cue this song.
+ *Uncle Sam has entered the chat*
Meta $META ( ▼ 0.69% ) just bought an AI startup with Chinese “roots.” It’s not clear what Comrade Zuckerberg will pay for Manus, but with a name like that, I think we can all agree Elon certainly tried to buy it. The AI agent maker most recently raised at a $500M.
The acquisition is a bit of a departure for Red Mark. And not just because his strategy has been “overpay for talent.” Manus, which has a reported $125M run rate, services mostly business clients with AI agents that do things like read resumes or analyze stonks.
+ New high score…
At least 717 US companies filed for bankruptcy in 2025. That’s the most since the Great Recession. Kirkland & Ellis’ holiday party must have gone incredibly hard this year…
S&P Global Market Intelligence reported a 14% jump in bankruptcies compared to last year, including the Chapter 11 (reorgs) and Chapter 7 (liquidation) varieties.
Pour one out for 23andMe, Rite Aid, and Hooters, who all went t*ts up this year.
+ I’m pretty sure this is just the plot of ‘Planes, Trains, and Automobiles’…
Another winter storm hit the Midwest & Northeast yesterday, canceling over 500 flights and delaying another 2k. This latest sh*tstorm comes right after airlines had to cancel over 3,600 flights over the weekend and delay over 30k flights due to weather.
> Silver tops $80 for first time, then stages dramatic reversal overnight (CNBC) // Hear me out, it’s like crypto except it’s real instead of digital…
> Lululemon Founder Nominates Board Candidates, Underscoring Rift (Bloomberg) // Not a single Kardashian on the list.
+ US stocks “fell on Monday, spurred by losses in technology, after the S&P 500 scaled to record levels last week.” (CNBC)
+ The 10-year yield “was slightly lower on Monday as investors returned from the Christmas holiday and began to look ahead to the new year.” (CNBC)
+ Oil “settled more than $1 a barrel higher on Monday as Russia accused Ukraine of attacking President Vladimir Putin’s residence, while traders braced for potential supply disruptions in the Middle East due to rising tensions in Yemen.” (Reuters)
+ The “smart” money (prediction markets) thinks there’s a 49% chance that Tim Cook leaves Apple in 2026. (Polymarket)
⏪ Yesterday…
+ The November Pending Home Sales report dropped
+ The Dallas Fed Manufacturing Survey was released
⏩ Today we’re keeping an eye on…
+ The Fed will release the minutes from its last meeting
Yesterday, I asked, “What is the ideal NYE plan?”
36.6% of you said, “A small party with close friends/family. Board games and cocktails. No obligation to wait for midnight to head back home.”
Here’s what some of you guys had to say…
A small party with close friends/family. Board games and cocktails. No obligation to wait for midnight to head back home: “Hoping to sneak in some low key wife swapping games this year.”
Other: “Annual family ski trip. NYE apres style”
Stay home with the family. Tell the kids it's New Years at 9pm and go to sleep: “I'm too tired”
Completely ignore the holiday and live your normal life. It's literally made up: “I would imagine the most common feedback you will receive with this option is that NYE is for amateurs, which is correct.”
A huge party with friends. Stay up till midnight. Get hammered: “If you didn’t choose the huge party it’s because you didn’t get invited to a good one.”
Here’s today’s question…
We already covered the GOATed Christmas movie... so now, what's the GOATed New Year's movie?
Oh, and one more thing…
What did you think about today's newsletter?
Sent from my Amazon Fire Phone. Please excuse any mistakes and typos.
Does this look like the face of a guy you should take financial advice from?
No, it’s the face of an individual who is financially irresponsible/dumb enough to be talked into spending money on a family photo shoot that he could have just done with his iPhone. So, act accordingly...
This is not financial advice. Nothing in this newsletter is an investment recommendation. All content is created for entertainment, educational, or informational purposes only. Do your own research, or do yourself a favor and hire a professional.