On Saturday, I sent an update on the F*CK ZUCK WATER COOLEST REFERRAL PROGRAM. Last month, you guys raised $154 for the Shriner’s Hospital by referring 154 people to The Water Coolest.

That’s pretty f*cking awesome.

But I think we can do better…

Friendly reminder: for every subscriber a weekday warrior refers to The Water Coolest, I’ll donate $1 to the charity you guys decide to send the money to. Oh, and you’ll get some free stuff for yourself.

Here are all the details…

Share your unique referral link (below) with anyone you think might be interested in The Water Coolest. You can email it, post it on social, etc. Get creative.

Your unique referral link: {{rp_refer_url}}

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Enjoy the next 4 minutes and 29 seconds of blue-chip news and commentary.

Keep on snapping necks and cashing checks,

- tyler

+ US stocks “closed in a sea of green on Tuesday with record highs for both the tech-heavy Nasdaq Composite and benchmark S&P.” (Yahoo! Finance)

+ The 10-year Treasury yield “inched lower on Tuesday as investors considered the path ahead for inflation and interest rates following a series of remarks from Federal Reserve speakers." (CNBC)

+ Oil “settled 1% lower on Tuesday as lingering U.S. inflation poised to keep interest rates higher for longer and likely weighed on consumer demand at the pump, while little support came from geopolitical risk.” (Reuters)

+ Bitcoin wasn’t able to ride ETH’s coattails, staying mostly flat on the day.

+ The three most talked about stocks on WallStreetBets in the past 24 hours were: 1) Nvidia +0.6% 2) Tesla +6.6% 3) C3.ai -1.3%

The market moves you need to know about…

+ Gary Gensler from the clouds. Suddenly it looks like the SEC might greenlight the Ethereum ETF after all. ETH rose 8.3% on the news.

– Shares of Oddity, the AI-powered makeup brand (stay with me), dropped 7.3% after a scathing short report dropped.

+ Today I learned people still shop at Urban Outfitters. Shares of the retailer jumped 6.4% after reporting better-than-expected earnings.

It’s called disrupting yourself…

While other food makers were losing sleep over what America’s Ozempic habit meant for sales, Nestle (-1.3%) was in the kitchen cooking (Harrison Butker would approve…).

The Swiss food maker is launching a line of frozen meals targeting GLP-1 users (think: weight loss drugs).

The line, dubbed Vital Pursuit, which is presumably a nod to GLP-1 patients’ pursuit of being able to see their genitals without bending over, will offer 12 meals to start. And, get this, they’ll all cost $5 or less (in this economy?!).

You might be thinking, “wait, doesn’t Nestle produce Lean Cuisine already?” Yes, it does, but Lean Cuisine is made for calorie counters. GLP-1 users need to consumer more nutrients like protein so they don’t get Ozempic butt, which can be caused by muscle loss.

Power play

The move by Nestle makes sense. 6% of adults in the US are currently using Wegovy, Ozempic, or Zepbound. The remaining 94% prefer O-Zyn-pic.

That number is expected to jump to 9% of the population by 2035.

Plus, Nestle’s North American CEO pointed out that diet culture has been dying in the US over the past 25 years. Thanks, Lizzo.

But these magic weight loss drugs have renewed America’s interest… because, apparently, heart disease and diabetes weren’t enough. And Nestle isn’t about to sit around and let the opportunity pass it by.

+ Ok, now do Marvel and Star Wars…

Disney (+0.1%) is laying off ~15% of Pixar’s workforce, or 200 employees. And, I swear to J-Poww (God), if this delays Toy Story by even one day, I’ll make it my mission to take an upper-decker in every toilet at the next Disney park I visit…

The move is a reversal of the previous regime’s agenda. Under that strategy, Pixar would roll out exclusive streaming series for Disney+. Bob Iger indicated that from here on out, Pixar will produce feature-length films that will hit the theater before heading to Disney+.

+ Raise your hand if you totally forgot that Tesla unveiled a semi-truck back in 2017.

Of course, who can blame you for forgetting about it? Elon originally said the truck would go into production. Spoiler: the factory is still being built.

Still, investors were pretty pumped about an update yesterday. Probably because there hasn’t been much to be excited about at Tesla in the year of our lord 2024.

Tesla (+6.6%) said production is being ramped up for 2026 deliveries (read: 7+ years after it was initially promised). At full capacity (probably in like 2042) Tesla plans to produce 50k of the trucks annually. Unfortunately, none of them will ever be as cool as this Cheetos prototype.

+ Today, in the least surprising news of all time, Google (+0.6%) said that it plans to bring ads to its AI overviews. The announcement comes a week after it announced the AI “search” results feature. And I’m sure it was just an oversight that they forgot to mention they were going to monetize the new product…

+ Peacock, Netflix, and Apple TV+ out here putting the Saver in StreamSaver.

Last week, the 3 streaming services announced an exclusive bundle for Comcast (UNCH) customers. And we finally know the price: ~$15 per month. For those of you keeping score at home, that’s roughly 35% less than buying Peacock (ad-supported), Netflix (with ads), and Apple TV+’s services separately.

+ Amazon CEO: An ‘embarrassing’ amount of your success depends on this one skill (Read)

+ Bill Gates names his top book recommendations of the summer—and the one that’s a ‘must-read’ (Read)

+ Some millennials, Gen Zers plan to tap into retirement savings to buy a home. They ‘really shouldn’t,’ advisor says (Read)

Yesterday we were keeping an eye on earnings from Xpeng.

+ Chinese EV maker Xpeng (+5.9%) beat on the top and bottom lines. Of course, Xpeng isn’t exactly putting any blood in Elon’s stool yet… it only delivered 21k cars last year.

Here's what we’re keeping an eye on today...

+ PDD Holdings, TJX Companies, Analog Devices, and Target report this AM

+ Nvidia, Synopsys, Snowflake, and e.l.f beauty earnings drop this afternoon… and imagine caring about anything else except Nvidia

+ The FOMC meeting minutes drop

+ A UK-mandated deadline forces BHP to either make an offer for Anglo American… or walk away

Yesterday, I asked, “Who would be the voice of your AI chatbot?”

Here’s today’s question…

Before you go…

This will bring a tear to any ‘Entourage’ fans’ eyes (spoiler: Johnny Drama) (Tweet)

Probably the truest tweet about corporate America ever tweeted (Tweet)

Oh, and…

Does this look like the face of a guy you should take financial advice from?

No, it’s the face of an individual who is financially irresponsible/dumb enough to be talked into spending money on a family photo shoot that he could have just done with his iPhone. So, act accordingly...

This is not financial advice. Nothing in this newsletter is an investment recommendation. All content is created for entertainment, educational, or informational purposes only. Do your own research, or do yourself a favor and hire a professional.