TOGETHER WITH
Hey there weekday warrior. Lots to unpack today… Novo Nordisk is slashing prices, Ford will ship you a certified pre-owned Mustang via Amazon Prime, and Tim Cook’s days are numbered.
Enjoy the next 4 minutes and 4 seconds of blue-chip news and commentary.
Keep on snapping necks and cashing checks,
Bad day to be diabeetus
“Wait, but why?” - Martin “Pharma Bro” Shkreli
Novo Nordisk $NVO ( ▲ 0.41% ) just went all “what are we going to do with all that margin anyway?” (and shareholders just threw up in their mouth a little bit). The drugmaker that’s proven being first to market ain’t all it’s cracked up to be, is slashing prices of Wegovy and Ozempic.
From here on out, you can cop some GLP-1 for $349 without insurance from Novo’s website. That’s down from its current MSRP of $499.
But not all doses are created equal. Its 0.25 mg and 0.5 mg versions will get the 30% discount, but the iPhone Pro Max of weight loss drugs (2 mg) will still cost $499.
And that isn’t the only pricing tactic the legal drugmaker stole from your local drug dealer. Like a deal straight out of an infomercial, new patients can get the most powerful weight loss drug since cocaine for just $199 for the first two months.
The stock was actually slightly positive on the day. Why? Mostly because this wasn’t exactly a surprise (see: recent pressure from the White House to lower prices for Medicare/caid and TrumpRx users) and shares couldn’t get beaten much worse (the stonk is down 45% YTD)…
The Vault Just Opened. Invest Before Tomorrow’s Price Increase.
Elf Labs isn’t telling a fairytale — they’re executing one of the most ambitious media-tech plays in the industry. With 100+ historic trademarks including Cinderella, Snow White, and Rapunzel, the company is transforming a $2T market with patented AI, AR, and interactive technologies.
And growth has skyrocketed.
In the last 12 months, Elf Labs has:
Raised $8M from 2,200+ investors
Closed a T-Mobile–backed mobile partnership
Begun production on patented immersive content
Closed a 200M-TV distribution deal
Their team’s done $6B+ in licensing deals and has already generated $15M+ in royalties for Elf.
*Shares are limited and not guaranteed until checkout is complete.
+ No one tell the porch pirates about this.
In a new deal that has got to have Carvana going full fear b*ner, Ford $F ( ▼ 2.35% ) dealers will now be able to sell certified pre-owned vehicles on Amazon $AMZN ( ▼ 0.78% ). And just imagine your girl hitting an impulse “Buy Now” on a 2022 Bronco…
Buyers will be able to handle financing, paperwork, and schedule pickup all through Amazon, and apparently, Alexa will even occasionally leave the room to “check with her manager” to see if they can cut you a deal. Over 160 US Ford dealers (out of 2,900) have already signed up to sell on Amazon.
+ Imagine a guy nicknamed “The Oracle” leaves, and you immediately play an Uno reverse card on his strategy…
Alphabet $GOOGL ( ▲ 3.12% ) shares popped yesterday after Berkshire Hathaway $BRK.B ( ▼ 1.12% ) revealed a $4.3B holding in its quarterly filing Friday. That makes Google Berkshire’s 10th-largest equity holding, despite The Oracle’s typical bearish take on tech stocks. To be fair, back in 2017, Warren did admit to regretting not buying Google years before. Always remember, kids… even at 95 years old, you’re never too old to buy at the top.
+ Finally, some innovation in Cupertino…
Tim Apple might be cooked. At long last, the powers that be at Apple $AAPL ( ▼ 1.82% ) are getting wise to the fact that Steve Jobs’ replacement is about as useful as an iPhone Sock. Rumors began swirling after an FT report indicated that 2026 could be Tim’s final year at the helm. The leader in the clubhouse to succeed him appears to be hardware engineering chief John Ternus.
+ Poors need not apply…
Amazon $AMZN ( ▼ 0.78% ) is repositioning its satellite internet program… that will never live up to Starlink. It’ll pivot from affordability to “premium”… which is exactly what a company does when it’s a decade late to the game. And what better way to make people forget all about how pathetic your attempts to go to market have been than a rebrand? From here on out Project Kuiper will be Amazon Leo.
+ Billionaire MAGA donor Bill Ackman shares dating advice for young men — and is ruthlessly mocked (NY Post) It appears that Bill Ackman has become self-aware and is now in on the “May I meet you?” joke, thus ruining everything.
+ ‘Baby Shark’ Creator Pinkfong Set for Seoul Debut After Popular IP (Bloomberg) It’s stuck in my head, so now it’s in yours too…
+ US stocks “pulled back on Monday, plagued once again by declines in tech, as Wall Street awaited key releases this week, including Nvidia earnings and the September jobs report.” (CNBC)
+ The 10-year yield “slid on Monday as investors anticipated a packed week of delayed economic data releases.” (CNBC)
+ Oil “prices fell Monday, handing back some of the strong gains seen at the end of last week, after Russia’s Novorossiysk port resumed crude loadings, easing immediate concerns over supply disruption.” (Reuters)
+ Bitcoin “regained some ground after hitting over a six-month low on Monday, but remained pressured by fading expectations of a Federal Reserve rate cut next month and heightened caution ahead of delayed U.S. economic data releases.” (Investing.com)
+ The “smart” money (prediction markets) thinks there’s a 28% chance Michael Bublé will have a top 10 hit this year (spoiler: it’ll be a Christmas banger). (Kalshi)
⏪ Yesterday…
+ Xpeng reported before the bell
+ Trip.com reported after the bell
⏩ Today we’re keeping an eye on…
+ Home Depot, Baidu, PDD Holdings, and Medtronic report before the bell
+ KULR and Powell report after the bell
+ Microsoft kicks off its Ignite conference
+ Saudi Crown Prince Mohammed bin Salman will meet with President Donald Trump at the White House
Yesterday, I asked, “There are two types of people in this world (I'm not sure which is worse). Are you Team Walmart or Team Target?”
58.6% of you said, “Target.”
Here’s what some of you guys had to say…
Walmart: “Kid Rock wrote a song about Wally World, not Target. ‘Redneck Paradise’”
Target: “I don't go to either, but my bank account will show you my wife has an addiction to target...”
Target: “I can't stand the fashion sense of those shopping at Team Walmart. (i.e. too many FUPAs make my eyes water).”
Walmart: “I hate to say that but Walmart has a lot more food options, and that's my main reason to stop by.”
Target: “The ‘Wal-martians’ are next level here in Philadelphia. The last time I went, I questioned why I didn't take a valium beforehand.”
Here’s today’s question…
You have to be a janitor at a state prison. The worst kinda of prison with absolute sickos. 12-hour days, 5 days a week. Brutal, disgusting work. Pays $10,000 your first year… but your salary doubles every year you stick with it. You in?
Oh, and one more thing…
What did you think about today's newsletter?
Sent from my Amazon Fire Phone. Please excuse any mistakes and typos.
Does this look like the face of a guy you should take financial advice from?
No, it’s the face of an individual who is financially irresponsible/dumb enough to be talked into spending money on a family photo shoot that he could have just done with his iPhone. So, act accordingly...
This is not financial advice. Nothing in this newsletter is an investment recommendation. All content is created for entertainment, educational, or informational purposes only. Do your own research, or do yourself a favor and hire a professional.