Hey there weekday warriors,

At long last, we have photos from Intuitive Machines’ lunar lander. And they were, well… disappointing.

How did we manage to get a live feed of the moon landing in 1969, but in the year of our lord 2024 the best we could do is these?

Here’s what else we’re getting into today…

  • Domino’s domination

  • Microsoft’s next big AI play

  • Gemini’s image generator wants another chance

Enjoy the next 4 minutes and 23 seconds of blue-chip news and commentary.

Keep on snapping necks and cashing checks,

+ US stocks “took a breather on Monday after closing out a dizzying week at record highs as investors braced for a looming inflation update that could put that rally to the test.” (Yahoo! Finance)

+ The 10-year Treasury yield “inched higher on Monday as investors awaited key economic data set to be published this week which could provide hints about the outlook for interest rates and the state of the economy." (CNBC)

+ Oil prices “gained on Monday as European diesel demand, constrained by Russian sanctions and shipping disruptions, pulled prices higher in a market jittery with U.S. refinery output limited by planned overhauls.” (Reuters)

+ Bitcoin “rallied today, climbing to their loftiest value since November 2021 as the digital currency benefited from combined bullish factors that one analyst described as ‘unprecedented.’” (Forbes)

+ The three most talked about stocks on WallStreetBets in the past 24 hours were: 1) Nvidia +0.3% 2) SoundHound AI +46.6% 3) Super Micro Computer +1.9%

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The market moves you need to know about…

+ Zoom out here getting its 2021 on. Shares of Jeffrey Toobin’s least favorite company jumped 10.3% following a top and bottom line beat.

+ Define “irrational exuberance.” SoundHound AI rocketed 46.7% yesterday. And not because it was mentioned by Nvidia during a major announcement regarding AI use in the telecom industry… but because investors believe SoundHound could (potentially) be on the shortlist of beneficiaries of the announcement.

+ Zealand Pharma mooned 36.4% after sharing positive Phase 2 clinical trial results for its fat-loss miracle drug (think: Ozempic).

Your move, Papa John

(Source: Giphy)

Domino's (+5.8%) didn't just make pizzerias its b*tch... it put the whole fast food/takeout industry on notice.

That's because it did something most of them couldn’t. Spoiler: grow same-store sales.

McDonald's, Yum Brands, and Starbucks pointed to the war in the Middle East and blamed the poors more cost-conscious consumers for pathetic quarterly growth.

So how'd Domino's overcome war and economic hardship?

Easy. Loyalty.

Its rewards program grew by 10%, to 33M members, in the quarter. Dominos has basically built Amazon Prime for mediocre pizza.

And its success in Q4 was driven largely by a marketing stunt that sounds like it was drawn up by a 14-year-old.

Domino's enticed customers to join their app-based reward program with a free "Emergency Pizza." You know, the kind of pizza you need in a pinch… like if you burned dinner… or pulled a Jim Levenstein.

Just in case same-store growth and an earnings beat weren’t enough for investors, DPZ also announced a 25% increase in its quarterly dividend and said it planned to buy back an additional $1B worth of shares.

+ Want to invest like Warren Buffett? Ignore pundits and ‘never risk permanent loss of capital,’ says the billionaire (Read)

+ House-Flipping Tips for the Risk-Averse From Two Experienced Flippers (Read)

+ Is It Ever OK to Have an 8 a.m. Meeting? (Read)

~ ICYMI... NJ TikToker bizarrely asked to sleep in the same bed as her colleague on overseas work trip: ‘HR loves a good rom-com’ (Read)

+ These hoes ain’t loyal. And neither is Satya Nadella…

Lately, it’s been hard to tell where Microsoft (-0.6%) stops and OpenAI begins. So it came as a bit of a shock to see MSFT is DTF other LLMs. The company that gave us (and killed) Clippy is investing in Mistral AI.

The 10-month-old French startup has been dubbed the “OpenAI of Europe.” Satya knows he could just ask ChatGPT to translate the entire large language model to French, right?

Microsoft, nor its side piece, shared financial deets. But it’s safe to assume it’s less than the $10B MSFT invested in Sam Altman and OpenAI, considering Mistral is valued at a measly $2B.

Mistral’s LLM will be available to Microsoft Azure cloud customers. Care to guess what the only other LLM option is?

Why should I care? Microsoft is pouring AI resources into its cloud biz with one goal in mind: eating AWS’ lunch. Amazon’s cloud infrastructure still holds the top spot, but its market share fell in the most recent quarter. Meanwhile, MSFT’s hit an all-time high.

+ Even though nobody asked them to (we’re all using OpenAI), Google (-4.5%) plans to relaunch its Gemini AI image generator in a few weeks.

Google promised to get its act together after people started noticing there was something off about the images generated by the Dall-E competitor. Think: portraying the founding fathers of the US as anything but white. Now, as you might expect in America in 2024, people are accusing Google of making Gemini woke.

Why should I care? Google has not had a ton of luck with its consumer-facing AI endeavors. During its launch event, Bard (its AI chatbot’s name before a much-needed rebrand) had a major brain fart. Now this.

And investors are showing that they’re sick and tired of this sh*t. Shares of Alphabet fell more than 4% yesterday. Perhaps Google should have stuck with Project Maven after all…

+ You’re not going to believe this… but the FTC is suing to block Kroger’s (-1.9%) $25B acquisition of rival Albertson's (+0.6%). The Federal Trade Commission pointed to the anticompetitive nature of the deal. Super original, you guys. Specifically, they fear that the deal could lead to higher food prices and harm union bargaining power. (Read)

+ Wendy’s (-0.4%) has an idea so crazy it might just work. But probably not. In 2025 the burger chain plans to roll out “dynamic pricing.” Think: Uber surge pricing… but for a Baconator. During peak hours (think: lunchtime), menu items will cost more. During off hours, prices will drop. (Read)

Here's what I'm keeping an eye on today...

+ Lowe's, AutoZone, eBay, and Virgin Galactic report. Virgin might have some explaining to do after it pulled a Boeing a few weeks back (read: part of one of its vehicles fell off during a recent flight).

+ AI stocks will probably go up…'

Yesterday I asked, “What’s your go-to upper for work?”

Coffee won in a landslide. Next up were Zyn and energy drinks.

Here’s today’s question…

Are we going to stand for "dynamic pricing" at fast-food joints?

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Does this look like the face of a guy you should take financial advice from?

No, it’s the face of an individual who is financially irresponsible/dumb enough to be talked into spending money on a family photo shoot that he could have just done with his iPhone. So, act accordingly...

This is not financial advice. Nothing in this newsletter is an investment recommendation. All content is created for entertainment, educational, or informational purposes only. Do your own research, or do yourself a favor and hire a professional