Hey there weekday warrior,
Here’s what’s on tap today… Meta is down to give it up for free, Jensen and Intel both want more bubble-cash, and GameStop wants back in the news cycle.
Now, enjoy the next 3 minutes and 23 seconds of blue-chip news and commentary.
Keep on snapping necks and cashing checks,
Mixed Meta AI
Everyone: “We gotta catch up to these Chinese open-weight models.”
Zuck: “Catch these hands.”
The white belt wonder (not Jonah Hill) is going to war with the People’s Republic.
Yesterday, Zuck announced that Meta $META ( ▲ 0.48% ) would begin to open source its AI models and launch more models designed to be run right on your laptop…
Well, probably not your sh*tty laptop, but nice ones.
Monday morning, Zuck woke up and chose to post this in-depth explainer:
Wait, no, this one…
Essentially, Zuck and Co. plans to open the weights (read: open for download) for the latest LLM from the lab, Spark 1.2.
Oh, and The Facebook also plans to release new open-source models called Muse Glimmer for running on laptops, which, suck it, data centers.
Friendly explainer: Anthropic and OpenAI really only care about closed models and centralized AI…
Meanwhile, Chinese open-weight models are crushing ‘merican AI, especially in the world of cybersecurity (think: way fewer restrictions).
Per Zuck, “I do not believe restricting access to foreign open source models is an effective solution. Our goal should be for American open source models to be the best globally.”
Patriot (hopefully).
Wall Street’s New Shopping List
Big money is rotating into a select group of stocks for the second half of 2026.
MarketBeat’s analysts tracked the move and identified 10 companies attracting fresh capital right now.
The updated 10 Best Stocks to Own in 2026 report lays out the tickers, trends, and catalysts.
+ Series N
Nvidia $NVDA ( ▼ 2.86% ) is teaming up with Big Money (think: Apollo $APOL ( 0.0% ), Blackstone $BX ( ▲ 3.3% ), BlackRock $BLK ( ▼ 0.44% ), Brookfield $BAM ( ▲ 0.67% ), Goldman Sachs $GS ( ▼ 0.49% ), and KKR $KKR ( ▲ 1.18% )) to write a check AI’s a** better be able to cash.
The real-life Illuminati are ganging up to yeet $500B (more) into building AI infrastructure.
+ Chip craving
The big swingin’ chips at Intel $INTC ( ▼ 4.06% ) just announced a $15B common stock offering for… do I have to write it again?
AI capex at Intel is boutta get a boost for new infrastructure. To be fair, Temu AMD did post record-breaking revenue growth last month, so…
Elsewhere in Chipland, TSMC $TSM ( ▼ 0.37% ) reported its July numbers yesterday, and they were pretty, pretty impressive. Taiwan Semi saw a YoY revenue jump of 44.7%.
+ “I can’t believe this isn’t going to work out” - absolutely no one
Ryan Cohen is reportedly backing off from his fake $56B bid for eBay $EBAY ( ▼ 3.81% )…
Turns out, since eBay was less than enthusiastic about the takeover, GameStop $GME ( ▼ 1.93% ) may just go all “game recognize game” and walk away.
Because no means no.
Friendly reminder: eBay’s board called the offer “neither credible nor attractive.”
… just like your mom.
> OpenAI hits pause on new bot testing over ‘critical risk’ concerns in latest AI cybersecurity incident // “This marketing worked for Mythos…” - @sama, probably
> Sen. Bernie Sanders demands CEOs pause AI development ‘in the interest of humanity’ // I am once again asking for your financial support pause.
> Taylor Farms recalls salsa, guacamole over salmonella fears after company linked to ‘explosive diarrhea’ outbreak // Dear god, not the guac...
> (Sunday) Myspace eyes comeback as an ‘antidote’ to social media fatigue, but it may be a long shot // Bout to cause drama with my Top 8 picks...
> (Saturday) Berkshire earnings rose last quarter and CEO Greg Abel is starting to deploy Buffett’s massive cash hoard // You ready for the rip?
> (Friday) OpenAI’s new $300 doughnut-shaped smart home device will have moving parts to make it more lively // ChatGPT, play Despacito...
> (Friday) Trump revives effort to fire Fed’s Lisa Cook // “Ah sh*t, here we go again.”
> (Friday) Chesky says Airbnb will spend ‘a lot more’ on AI as earnings beat and stock surges 15% // Playbook still works: 1. Say “AI.” 2. Stonk moons.
> (Friday) U.S. economy unexpectedly lost 23,000 jobs in July // Call your funemployed friends and rub it in.
On Friday, I asked, “Sound off: Whopper or Big Mac?”
43% of you said, “Whopper.” King, indeed…
Here’s what some of you guys had to say (and my response in italics)…
Whopper: “Big Mac is a glorified double cheeseburger with the end of the bread loaf shoved in there.” The best insults are just descriptions.
Big Mac: “People eat the Whopper?” Many, apparently.
Whopper: “It was big mac, way back in the day, but McD’s has done a great job ensh*tifying their food.” How the mighty have fallen.
Big Mac: “I’ll take lava coffee over foot lettuce all day.” This guy fast foods.
Neither (write-in): “I’m not poor.” Found the burger elitist.
Here’s today’s question(s)…
When was the last time you spent any money at a GameStop store?
+ US stocks rose Friday (S&P 500: +0.6%) to fresh all-time highs after employers shockingly shed 23,000 jobs in July (versus an expected 83,000 gain), then eased back Monday (S&P 500: -0.1%) as oil climbed about 5% and Apple skidded on iPhone demand fears. Bad day for Jobs everywhere.
+ The 10-year yield fell Friday as the ugly jobs print cooled rate-hike bets, then reversed and gained more than 4 basis points Monday to 4.705% as oil rose and traders eyed this week’s inflation data.
+ Oil rose Friday on hopes for the teased Hormuz deal but still closed down more than 7% for the week, then climbed about 5% Monday to $82.13 WTI as doubts crept in over any deal actually happening. Deal or no deal? Yes.
+ The “smart” money (prediction markets) thinks the Rams have the greatest chance (15%) of winning it all this season... (Polymarket)
Oh, and one more thing…
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