Today we’re getting into Microsoft pumping the brakes on its Black Mirror tech and a yuge AI IPO.

Enjoy the next 4 minutes and 24 seconds of blue-chip news and commentary.

Keep on snapping necks and cashing checks,

- tyler

+ US stocks “finished little changed Friday, with the S&P 500 and Nasdaq logging strong weekly performances as Apple's AI strategy and Elon Musk's pay package win at Tesla took center stage.” (Yahoo! Finance)

+ The 10-year Treasury yield “fell again on Friday as data released this week pointed to easing inflation." (CNBC)

+ Oil “settled slightly lower on Friday after a survey showed deteriorating U.S. consumer sentiment, but prices rose 4% for the week as investors weighed forecasts for solid demand for crude oil and fuel in 2024.” (Reuters)

+ Bitcoin “tumbled more than 2% in an hour to $65,100 during the U.S. trading session [Friday] from around the $67,000 area. The leading crypto was down 7.5% over the past seven days.” (Coindesk)

+ The three most talked about stocks on WallStreetBets in the past 24 hours were: 1) Nvidia +1.7% 2) C3.ai -4.7% 3) Grindr +7.6%

The market moves you need to know about…

– Shares of Penn Entertainment fell 8.6% after an analyst said it doesn’t expect the gambling company to kick off a strategic review in the near term. Despite pressure from an activist investor, Penn may hold off until the football season and allow its ESPN Bet game plan to play out further.

– RH plummeted 17.0% on Friday following a brutal earnings report on Thursday after the bell. Analysts rubbed salt in the wound on Friday, calling bullsh*t on the company’s unrealistic demand growth expectations.

– Virgin Galactic got rekt again on Friday. Shares dropped 6.2% bringing its weekly losses to more than 20%. Turns out, investors like reverse stock splits about as much as a space shuttle filled with a bunch of orphaned puppies falling out of the sky.

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You’re not going to believe this, but Microsoft is pumping the brakes on a feature Elon called a “Black Mirror episode…”

Microsoft (+0.2%) said it won’t roll out ‘Recall’ when it releases its new Copilot+ PCs tomorrow. Instead, a bunch of dudes who probably have the same physique as Bill Gates will preview/test it as part of Windows Insider Program (WIP).

Why does everyone hate Recall?

Well, for starters, there are some major privacy concerns. The AI-powered tool just screams “Big Brother.”

The Recall tool is pretty simple… it tracks (and stores) pretty much everything you do on your PC, ranging from web browsing to voice chats. The goal? Allow you to “recall” anything via a natural language search. Think: “Did I order a Fleshlight when I was blacked out again?”

Experts and anyone with a moral compass pointed out that the web history on steroids feature is pretty much everything that’s wrong with AI.

What can we expect Tuesday?

We’ll still get CoPilot+ PCs this week. Just, without the creepiest feature of all time.

The hope in Redmond? That this will kick off an upgrade cycle of epic proportions for PCs. You might recall that sales had slowed to a crawl in the aftermath of the pandemic.

Analysts are pretty bullish that PC makers will convince consumers that AI-enabled computers are a game-changer.

+ Everyone: “The IPO market is brutal right now.”

Company with AI in its name: “Hold my beer.”

On Friday, Tempus AI took its talents to the public markets. The AI healthcare play priced its shares at the high end of the range on Thursday ($37) raising ~$410M at a $6B valuation.

The company, whose CEO also founded Groupon, jumped as much as 15% in early trading before settling up 8% on its first day.

Probably the only way it could have had a better day is if its focus was weight loss drugs instead of oncology…

+ Bad day to be a big tech…

Google (+0.9%) and Apple (-0.8%) couldn’t catch a break on the antitrust front on Friday. A judge threw out Alphabet’s motion to dismiss a trial that claims it illegally dominates the digital ad market. And, ok, fair…

Meanwhile, across the pond, rumor has it that Apple is going to face charges under the EU’s Digital Market Act. Apparently, the European regulators are butt hurt about how Apple is going about allowing app makers to let users pay outside its App environment. Spoiler: they have to pay a fee to do so.

+ Sam Altman is thisss close to completing his villain arc.

But before he unleashes sentient AI on the world, he’s eyeing some governance changes. Rumor has it that OpenAI is considering switching to a for-profit corporation. You might recall that it’s currently a “non-profit.”

+ Turns out Ken Fisher was onto something with all those CNBC ads…

Kenny Finance is selling a $3B stake in his investment firm at a $12.75B valuation. So, who’s he getting in bed with? PE shop Advent Internation… and the Abu Dhabi investment authority.

+ Steve Jobs built Apple using a simple piece of advice from his dad: ‘He loved doing things right’ (Read)

+ I audited my Amazon Prime membership to see if the $139 annual fee is still worth it (Read)

+ Competition in the housing market is cooling off. Here’s why (Read)

⏪ Not a whole lot going on Friday…

⏩ Here's what we’re keeping an eye on today...

+ Walmart’s Walmart+ Days kick-off (think: Amazon Prime Days for trashy people)

+ Home builder Lennar reports after the close

Friday, I asked, “What is it worse to get fired for?”

52.3% of you think DWI is worse than getting caught using a mouse jiggler.

Here’s today’s question…

It’s probably safe to assume you have Amazon Prime, but…

Before you go…

This one is for all my dogs out there…

Does this look like the face of a guy you should take financial advice from?

No, it’s the face of an individual who is financially irresponsible/dumb enough to be talked into spending money on a family photo shoot that he could have just done with his iPhone. So, act accordingly...

This is not financial advice. Nothing in this newsletter is an investment recommendation. All content is created for entertainment, educational, or informational purposes only. Do your own research, or do yourself a favor and hire a professional.