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Hey there weekday warriors,
Here’s what’s on tap today… some new server farm company IPOed, the Dow hit 50k, and Elon lied to us about Mars.
Enjoy the next 3 minutes and 43 seconds of blue-chip news and commentary.
Keep on snapping necks and cashing checks,
PS… Starting next week, the newsletter will look a little different. It’ll all feel very familiar for the OGs.
Kid tested, mother approved
New gluten-free, non-GMO stock just dropped…
It was a big week for IPOs, punctuated by Once Upon A Farm’s $OFRM ( ▼ 1.87% ) (D- ticker symbol, btw) listing on Friday.
And to answer your next question, no, OFRM is not an AI server farm REIT with SoftBank and Nvidia on the cap table…
Once Upon A Farm is the Jennifer Garner-backed organic kids nutrition company. They sell the sort of food that the most insufferable mom at PTA meetings won’t STFU about on Facebook (think: pouches, frozen meals, and bars). RFK Jr. approves this message.
And unlike Bob’s Discount Furniture earlier this week (flat debut), OFRM (seriously, why not ONCE?) popped 17% on its first day of trading.
The company raised $197M, which it plans to earmark for buying more Red 40 paying down debt, and expanding operations.
Live look at Ben Affleck after realizing how badly he fumbled the bag…
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+ And the crowd goes mild…
The Dow passing a major milestone feels a lot like New Year’s Eve… it happens like once a year, it doesn’t really matter, and the only thing we have to show for it is these stupid hats…
The Dow Jones Industrial Average hit 50k on Friday, and probably the only one who really gives a damn is the print shop that has the NYSE account (oh, and Peter Tuchman… definitely Peter Tuchman).
The DJIA popped nearly 3% on Friday, led by CAT and Goldman Sachs’ yuge days.
+ Sike!
Remember when Elon called the moon a “distraction” and promised that SpaceX would head to Mars in 2026?
So that was a f*cking lie. SpaceX is reportedly shifting its focus to a celestial body a little closer to home (think: the moon). It's targeting a 2027 lunar landing (the no human variety) for NASA. Mars is on the back burner… for now.
Probably just a coincidence that the news comes a few days after SpaceX merged with xAI. The company is expected to IPO later this year.
+ Even Michael Saylor feels bad for Stellantis…
The carmaker, which, for the record, deserves everything it gets for choosing that stupid f*cking name, fell 23% on Friday. In case you are keeping score at home, that marks the single worst day in the company’s history.
WTF happened? Well, it certainly could have been the $26.5B charge related to it pretty much pulling out of the EV game. Friendly reminder: GM and Ford made similar moves but took much smaller financial hits.
It probably didn’t help that Stellantis doubled down on keeping the gang together. There has been quite a bit of speculation about breaking apart the company that produces Jeep, Ram, and Chrysler vehicles. But according to Stellantis brass, there are no plans to rearrange the deck chairs on the Titanic.
Don’t pay for vacation (no sugar daddy required)
If you're looking for miles that can go towards escaping your sh*tty job for a few days your dream vacation, you need to take a look at this travel rewards card.
It’s offering a $250 Travel Credit + 75k Bonus Miles (that’s $1,000 towards travel)… which is probably why credit card experts are obsessed with it.
Spoiler: TWC might be compensated if you click on the links above. Hint, hint.
> Nvidia shares rise 8% as Jensen Huang says $660 billion capex buildout is sustainable (CNBC) // It’s called talking your book… look it up
> FDA Targets Copycat Weight Loss Drugs in Blow to Hims & Hers (Bloomberg) // Annnnnd it’s gone…
> In reversal, Trump backs Nexstar's proposed acquisition of Tegna (CNBC) // Not fake news.
> Pour one out for the back office boys and girls…
Friday, I asked, “Turns out most of you guys are more responsible than I thought (think: making your own Super Bowl food). Fine, if you really know what you're doing, riddle me this: What's the undefeated Super Bowl snack?”
36.9% of you said, “Chips (and dips, includes nachos).”
Here’s what some of you guys had to say…
Chips (and dips, includes nachos): “The wife makes an incredible buffalo chicken dip. Makes up for all her shortcomings”
Wings: “You can change up flavors throughout the game based on mood and booze choice.”
Chips (and dips, includes nachos): “You cannot screw up queso, you can only enhance it.”
Pizza: “Pizza is easy pizzie…gotta mortgage the house for wings these days”
Here’s today’s question(s)…
Football is over. Do you give a damn about the Olympics at all?
+ US stocks “rebounded on Friday from a weeklong tech bruising as Wall Street reassessed worries about the impact of AI disruption and the risks of hefty Big Tech spending.” (Yahoo! Finance)
+ The 10-year yield was “relatively unchanged on Friday as investors continued to assess the state of the American economy.” (CNBC)
+ Oil “settled higher on Friday, reversing earlier losses as traders worried that this week’s talks between the U.S. and Iran had failed to reduce the risk of a military conflict between the two countries.” (Reuters)
+ The “smart” money (prediction markets) thinks there’s a 6% chance we find out Jeffrey Epstein is alive before 2027. (Polymarket)
⏪ On Friday…
+ Philip Morris, Under Armour, and Centene reported before the opening bell
⏩ Today we’re keeping an eye on…
+ Monday.com and Pagaya report before the bell
+ ON Semiconductor and Amkor drop earnings after hours
Oh, and one more thing…
What did you think about today's newsletter?
Sent from my Amazon Fire Phone. Please excuse any mistakes and typos.
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