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Here’s what’s on the agenda today…

Investors are bullish on Bullish, Amazon will deliver your groceries for free (unless you live in East Bumf*ck), and Apple is coming in hot with robots (allegedly).

Enjoy the next 4 minutes and 14 seconds of blue-chip news and commentary.

Keep on snapping necks and cashing checks,

– tyler

PS, loving The Water Coolest? Forward it to someone who will buy anything Apple releases (even the Vision Pro). If you CC me ([email protected]), I’ll send you both something.

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“This MF’er don’t miss…”

New investing strategy just dropped: YOLO into whatever company has Peter Thiel on the cap table. The legendary VC who founded PayPal and Palantir, and was an early investor in Facebook (perhaps you’ve heard of them?), just secured another yuge W.

Thiel-backed Bullish went parabolic on its first day of trading. After pricing its shares above its expected range ($37), BLSH began trading at $90. At one point, it topped $118, before ending the day at $68 (so close…). That closing price gave it a $10.2B valuation.

Of course, it probably shouldn’t come as that much of a surprise, given that IPOs are doing their best SPACs-circa-2021 impression, and if we were playing NBA Jam, crypto would be “on fire.”

And since I know you know Bullish about as well as Mark Minervini knows Upstart, allow me to drop a little due diligence on you…

Bullish owns CoinDesk, the crypto news website, but its bread and butter is its namesake crypto exchange. And before you try to transfer your four-figure portfolio, I should probably warn you that Bullish only welcomes investors of the institutional variety.

Dealing with big swingin’ d*cks and not peasants like you and me has investors and analysts more horned up than a Swiftie looking at pictures of Travis Kelce dressed up like a member of the Village People. Something about income being more reliable…

Oh, and did I mention its C-Suite is absolutely stacked? It’s got pedigree for days (and not just the eccentric billionaire who buried Gawker in a shallow grave). Bullish’s CEO is Tom Farley (no relation to Chris… I checked), the former head of the NYSE.

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+ A live look at the people of Milwaukee finding out that Amazon is bringing same-day delivery to their metro area…

(Sorry, I had to watch that, and now you can’t unsee it either…)

Yesterday, Amazon $AMZN ( ▼ 0.15% ) reminded everyone that it’s more than a cloud computing platform with an e-comm side hustle. AMZN is rolling out same-day grocery delivery to more than 1k cities in the US (eat a d*ck, Canada). If all goes according to plan, that number will reach 2.3k by the end of the year.

According to the company, tests in Phoenix and other cities went well. Turns out, when you add more stuff to your cart, you spend more money on the site. Plus, the free delivery perk has helped Amazon steal away market share from its more old-fashioned competitors.

Getting groceries delivered to your door will be free-ninety-nine for Prime members (so, everyone)… as long as your cart totals $25 (or roughly the cost of one dozen eggs). If you don’t have a Prime membership, you can pay $12.99 for the privilege.

As you might have guessed, Amazon’s competitors got put in a body bag. RIP Instacart $CART ( ▲ 3.92% ).

+ Tim Apple didn’t hear no bell…

Rumor has it that Tim Cook has an idea to make people forget all about the Vision Pro. A snitch familiar with the matter (who’s about to find out what chloroform on an Apple Polishing Cloth smells like) said Apple $AAPL ( ▼ 0.25% ) is planning AI-powered robots, speakers, and a home security system. The robot, which is more of a “tabletop companion” than Paulie’s Robot in Rocky 4, is expected in '27.

Shares popped on news that Apple is actually planning to, you know, innovate. Your move, Sam Altman and Jony Ive…

+ Just when you thought “working at a Big 4 consulting firm couldn’t possibly get anymore soul-sucking”… PwC goes full surveillance state. At PwC UK, partners will get traffic light reports (think: red, yellow, green) indicating how well their underlings are adhering to the company’s return to office policy. The North Korea of consulting firms will use key card usage and Wi-Fi connection to monitor attendance. Blink twice if you need help, PwC bean counters…

+ Today in things that are less than ideal when you’re looking to make a massive all-stock acquisition: your stock price plummeting 20%. Last month, AI data center darling CoreWeave $CRWV ( ▼ 0.94% ) announced plans to buy Core Scientific $CORZ ( ▲ 3.61% ) for $9B (all stock, no cash… homie). Unfortunately, yesterday, CoreWeave shares fell more than 20% after the company gave a bleak outlook… despite an insatiable appetite for its product.

+ God forbid a man have hobbies. A Goldman and JPMorgan alum was indicted on securities and wire fraud. According to Johnny Law, you’re not supposed to take the $4M you raised to build a crypto gaming app and lose it gambling… within a week. In his defense, everyone just loves to tell the story of Fred Smith saving FedEx with a hand of blackjack…

+ What’s that? You managed to avoid getting lit on fire by a hobo in the Subway and stepping on a hypodermic needle in Times Square? Welp, you better watch out for the Tesla $TSLA ( ▲ 1.22% ) Robotaxi. It appears Elon is one step closer to putting his Full Self Driving taxis on the road in NYC. A job listing is currently seeking safety drivers for a Big Apple rollout.

+ US stocks “climbed on Wednesday with the benchmark S&P 500 and tech-heavy Nasdaq Composite notching back-to-back record highs as investors bet almost unanimously on a Federal Reserve rate cut at its next meeting following the latest inflation data.” (Yahoo! Finance)

+ The 10-year yield was “lower on Wednesday as investors studied the implications of the latest inflation data and considered the likely impact of higher tariffs on the U.S. economy.” (CNBC)

+ Oil “prices fell to over two-month lows on Wednesday after bearish supply guidance from the U.S. government and the International Energy Agency, while investors eyed U.S. President Donald Trump’s threat of "severe consequences" if Russia’s Vladimir Putin blocked peace in Ukraine. ” (Reuters)

+ The “smart” money (prediction markets) Jay-Z, Post Malone, and Miley Cyrus are the current favorites to headline the S*per Bowl halftime show. (Kalshi)

⏪ Yesterday…

+ Global-E Online reported in the AM

+ Cisco and Dlocal reported after hours

⏩ Today we’re keeping an eye on…

+ JD.com and Deere report before the open

+ Nu, Applied Materials, Quantum Computing, Nano Nuclear Energy, KULR, and Bit Digital report after the bell

+ Madden 2026 drops

+ 13-F season gets underway

Yesterday, I asked, “How do we feel about the Savannah Bananas phenomenon?”

44.4% of you said “It's awesome.“

Here’s what some of you guys had to say…

Here’s today’s question…

Oh, and one more thing…

Sent from my Amazon Fire Phone. Please excuse any mistakes and typos.

Does this look like the face of a guy you should take financial advice from?

No, it’s the face of an individual who is financially irresponsible/dumb enough to be talked into spending money on a family photo shoot that he could have just done with his iPhone. So, act accordingly...

This is not financial advice. Nothing in this newsletter is an investment recommendation. All content is created for entertainment, educational, or informational purposes only. Do your own research, or do yourself a favor and hire a professional.