Don’t say I didn’t warn you: if I don’t know you’re real, you may be removed from the TWC list.

The only way I can tell you’re real is if you click the link below…

Now, here’s what’s on the agenda today…

The Winklevii Redemption Tour continues, Kalshi gets sued by MA, and it's a bad day to make ‘rona vaccines.

Enjoy the next 4 minutes and 31 seconds of blue-chip news and commentary.

Keep on snapping necks and cashing checks,

– tyler

PS, loving The Water Coolest? Forward it to someone who uses Kalshi strictly as a sports gambling site. If you CC me ([email protected]), I’ll send you both something.

PPS, did someone with great taste forward this to you? Subscribe here.

Woah, I totally missed this line delivered by Armie Hammer as Cameron Winklevoss in The Social Network: “My brother and I pay tuition at this school, we carry a 3.9 GPA at this school, we've won trophies for this school, we'll be rowing in the Olympics for this school, and in 2025 we’ll take a crypto exchange public at $14B valuation thanks to the Trump administration’s lax digital currency regulations. I want a meeting with the goddam president of this school."

The Winklevii took their crypto exchange Gemini public on Friday. And it’s safe to say it went better than their Olympic rowing career (finished sixth in London in 2012).

Cameron & Tyler priced GEMI shares at $28 (above the expected range) and watched them open at $37. At the close, the stock was trading at $32, up 14% on the day. Not that it’s a d*ck measuring contest, but shares of Facebook jumped barely 1% on the first day of trading in 2012 (to be fair, they’re up about 1,800% since then).

When it was all said and done, Gemini raised $425M and secured a ~$4B valuation. For those of you looking for more reasons to dislike the Winklevoss twins, their total stake is worth about $2.7B (and I bet both of them wish they killed the other in utero).

The catch

Now for the hard part: proving to investors that Gemini is worthy of its yuge valuation.

Gemini is still lighting money on fire. The Brothers Winklevoss lost $282M in the first half of 2025. Friendly reminder: public markets aren’t as forgiving as VCs.

WTF does it mean for us?

It’s yet another IPO W after a brutal couple of years. Big banks are armed with recent success stories (interns about to run out of space on the case studies page).

Don’t be surprised to see more companies coming out of the woodwork looking to get liquid. Unfortunately for you and me, most of the first day gainz are reserved for institutions that have secured a yuge chunk of stonk over dinner at Dorsia.

For many business owners, today is crunch time: estimated taxes, extended returns, final contributions. Stressful stuff — unless you’ve got Gelt.

With us in your corner, deadlines don’t sneak up. Filings are squared away, strategies are maximized, and you can get back to building your business knowing it’s handled.

That’s the peace of mind Gelt was built for.

Water Coolest readers get 10% off their first year of service.

+ Today in things there is no coming back from…

Rumor has it, the White House is planning to share a presentation with a vaccine panel that advises the CDC, linking the ‘rona boi vaccine to the death of more than 2 dozen kids.

Shares of Pfizer $PFE ( ▲ 0.42% ), Moderna $MRNA ( ▲ 1.57% ), and Novavax $NVAX ( ▲ 1.25% ), which developed and still sell COVID vaccines, fell on the news. This is the second blow to the vaccine industrial complex in as many weeks. RFK Jr. already updated ‘vid vaccine recommendations to exclude healthy kids and pregnant women.

+ “Don’t hate the player, hate the game.” - Kalshi, probably

Massachusetts’ Attorney General sounds fun at parties. On Friday, the stick-in-the-mud brought a suit against prediction market Kalshi, claiming that they operate an unregulated sports gambling platform in the great state of Massachusetts.

The suit doesn’t indicate how much the AG is being paid by DraftKings and FanDuel, but it does point out, “Kalshi made more from sports wagers than licensed sports wagering platforms DraftKings or FanDuel over the course of the same February through May timeframe.” Since when is being better at capitalism illegal?

+ Breaking: Sherwin-Williams…

+ If the competition for the Bank of America $BAC ( ▲ 0.02% ) CEO job was happening in the Bachelor cinematic universe, these B of A employees just got ‘hometown visits’…

The institution of higher finance named two co-presidents and elevated its CFO to EVP on Friday. Spoiler: that’s about as close as a current CEO and board will get to anointing heirs apparent. It’s probably worth noting that current CEO Brian Moynihan has made it clear he wants to get his Jamie Dimon on. Think: “I’m not f*cking leaving.”

+ Elon called, and he wants his cost-cutting tactic back…

On Friday, we discussed Opendoor $OPEN ( ▲ 4.69% ) mooning on news that it hired a CEO who looks a lot like the board’s patsy. Speaking of the board… the new chairman has already teed up his first order of business. Co-founder Keith Rabois thinks the company should gut as much as 85% of its workforce.

Live look at the new CEO today…

+ Just me, or does it feel like every IPO is “20x oversubscribed?”

“Sources” (so, bankers) familiar with the StubHub IPO claim, “it’s like so oversubscribed, bro.” They put the number at about 20x the number of shares available. The Hub will price its shares on Tuesday and begin trading on Wednesday.

+ US stocks “notched a perfect week of closing highs on Friday as investors took signs of weakening jobs and tame inflation to mean the Federal Reserve will lower interest rates next week.” (CNBC)

+ The 10-year yield “edged higher on Friday, rebounding from moves seen in Thursday’s session.” (CNBC)

+ Oil “rose on Friday after a Ukrainian drone attack suspended loadings from the largest port in western Russia, but gains were capped by concerns about U.S. demand.” (Reuters)

+ The “smart” money (prediction markets) thinks there’s a 12% chance a company owned by Meek Mill will release an AI tool this year. (Kalshi)

⏪ On Friday…

+ Take-Two Interactive released the Borderlands 4 video game

⏩ Today we’re keeping an eye on…

+ Dave & Buster's reports after the close

Friday, I asked, “You get either free Uber Eats for life OR free Uber Rides for life. Which are you taking?”

71.3% of you picked “Eats.”

Here’s what some of you guys had to say…

Here’s today’s question…

Woof.

Oh, and one more thing…

Does this look like the face of a guy you should take financial advice from?

No, it’s the face of an individual who is financially irresponsible/dumb enough to be talked into spending money on a family photo shoot that he could have just done with his iPhone. So, act accordingly...

This is not financial advice. Nothing in this newsletter is an investment recommendation. All content is created for entertainment, educational, or informational purposes only. Do your own research, or do yourself a favor and hire a professional.