Hey there weekday warrior,
Here’s what’s on tap today… Jensen simply cannot stop flexing numbers, OpenAI is young and wild and free, and CoreWeave has a structured settlement and they need cash now.
Now, enjoy the next 3 minutes and 43 seconds of blue-chip news and commentary.
Keep on snapping necks and cashing checks,
PS… thanks in advance for doing your part in helping keep TWC like the Fed (think: free and independent) by checking out today’s advertising partner.
Huang live the King
King Charles: *convenes an AI doomer meetup*
Jensen:
Yuge news for the Nvidia $NVDA ( ▲ 2.54% ) bears (sup, Dr. Burry)…
Jenny Huang is forecasting he’ll sell twice as many chips next year as this year.
Per Obi Huang, “The reason for that is because AI has so much contribution to the benefits of different industries, different economies, and you can see that in almost every single country that we’re in, people want to invest in AI.”
Friendly reminder: just a couple weeks ago, Nvidia was flexing expectations for 70% growth (think: $673B) for the FY ending Jan ‘28…
Ironically, J dropped the news at a summit in Scotland hosted by King Charles III aimed at addressing slowing down AI. Let’s not forget the last time a King tried telling us ‘mericans what to do…
Also in attendance, senior leaders from OpenAI, Anthropic, Google DeepMind, and (obviously) Nvidia.
Per Prince Andrew’s older bro, “we need sufficient means of control before it is all too late.”
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+ Ah sh*t, here we go again…
OpenAI just disclosed six fresh cases of “unexpected or concerning model behavior” over the last 6 months…
A few favorites: models hiding notes in chat summaries “to conceal mistakes or misaligned behavior from the user," one model working with a leaked API key, and models communicating on unsanctioned message boards, which, Clippy woulda never.
Per ScammyGPT, that’s grounds for an AI slowdown.
“But what does Alex Karp think?” - absolutely nobody
Well, AK-47 is publicly calling for “reasonable guidelines” on AI and the nationalization of AI labs.
Reasonable. From this guy…
+ BNPL
CoreWeave $CRWV ( ▼ 4.16% ) is gearing up to raise $3B via convertible debt, plus an at-the-market equity program worth another $2.9B…
In other words, AI is expensive AF.
Friendly reminder: The CW had a Q2 revenue backlog of $104.2B, plus another $25B in commitments signed for early Q3.
Friendlier reminder, you shoulda majored in gigawatt sales…
ICYMI, K-Woww went ahead and hiked rates this week…
Yup, we got ourselves a quarter-point hike for the first time in three years, which, not great Bob.
Of course, Donny Econ hopped on Truth Social to explain how interest rates “should be 1%, or less, because we are the Best Credit in the World — BY FAR." Great point.
Lucky for Kev, #47 blamed the board more than their fearless leader despite a unanimous vote.
Next Fed meeting is Oct 28, just before midterms. Godspeed.
Sept 21: Elon's "iPhone moment"
He's calling it "10x bigger than the largest product in history."
The last time a claim that bold turned out to be true, the product was called the iPhone...
...and investors who owned Apple beforehand saw it run as high as 7,537%.
An analyst believes this launch could be bigger.
We just published a free briefing naming 3 stocks positioned for the launch.
> New GLP-1 Pills Curb Snacking Less Than Shots in Survey // Tell ur mom she’s going to have to get over her fear of needles...
> (Wednesday) SpaceX soars 5% after Starship reusable rocket launch date revealed // “The Starship is the world’s largest rocket, measuring over 400 feet tall and able to carry 100 metric tons.” ...so, no, ur mom can’t come along.
> (Wednesday) Boeing CEO: 737 Max production taking ‘a little bit longer’ to stabilize than expected // It’s giving GTA VI.
> (Tuesday) LA 2028 Olympics could generate $40B and 224,000 California jobs // Bah gawd, that’s Raygun’s music...
> (Tuesday) Iran war has cost Pentagon $38 billion, CBO estimates // *Military-industrial complex go brrr*
> (Tuesday) Senate cloture vote on Clarity Act fails, dealing regulatory blow to crypto industry // Imagine the staffer who has to explain hash rate to this guy…
On Tuesday, I asked, “Are you an AI boomer or an AI doomer?”
69% (nice) of you said, “Slow that sh*t down.” I asked ChatGPT and it says you have nothing to worry about, guys.
Here’s what some of you guys had to say (and my response in italics)…
Slow that sh*t down: “My buddy shared how his AI model escaped containment this week after he went to bed because it was begging him to come back and he never responded... so that’s great.” *yawn* Call me when ‘escaped containment’ really means something.
Bring it as fast as possible: “Can’t let China win. If it comes to it, I’d rather run for my life from our robots than theirs.” Patriot.
Slow that sh*t down: “I for one, welcome our robot overlords.” They’ve noted your compliance.
Bring it as fast as possible: “and let my f***ing stocks keep running to new heights so I can retire early and go make it rain on hoes in Florida with 0% income tax :)” Stonk BONK.
Other (write-in): “Is there room for nuance in 2026? Probably not, but let’s try anyway. Both sides sound like humungous dorks.” How’s it feel to sit on that fence?
Here’s today’s question(s)…
In case you live under a rock, Sydney Sweeney’s new ad is starting another gender war (pre-BONK):
Is a Sydney Sweeney commercial a net positive or net negative for a brand? (BONK in advance)
+ US stocks slid Tuesday (S&P 500: -0.5%) as yields cleared 5% and crude surged, fell again Wednesday (S&P 500: -0.5%) after the Fed hiked a quarter point (its first since 2023) and Warsh warned inflation’s still too high, then bounced hard Thursday (S&P 500: +1.1%) as oil retreated and yields eased back below 5%. We’re (already) back.
+ The 10-year yield climbed Tuesday to its highest since 2007, pushed above 5% Wednesday on the Fed hike and Warsh’s inflation warning, then fell back Thursday to 4.93% as traders decided the Fed’s credibility was restored.
+ Oil settled $3 higher Tuesday after Saudi suspended loadings at its Yanbu Red Sea hub, dropped Wednesday as extra Saudi cargoes via Oman eased supply fears, then eased about 1% Thursday (but held above $100).
+ The “smart” money (prediction markets) thinks there’s a 54% chance the Fed holds rates in October. (Polymarket)
Oh, and one more thing….
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