TOGETHER WITH
Hey there weekday warrior,
The new season of Hard Knocks is going to be must-see TV…
Enjoy the next 4 minutes and 22 seconds of blue-chip news and commentary.
Keep on snapping necks and cashing checks,
+ “Big Tech stocks led the market higher on Wednesday, as investors digested another month of sticky inflation data that met economists' expectations and likely pointed to a Federal Reserve interest rate cut next week.” (Yahoo! Finance)
+ The 10-year yield “advanced on Wednesday after November’s consumer price index data matched expectations.” (CNBC)
+ Oil “settled more than $1 higher on Wednesday after the European Union agreed to an additional round of sanctions threatening Russian oil flows that could tighten global crude supplies.” (Reuters)
+ Bitcoin “returned to $100,000 after the Dec. 11 Wall Street open as on-point United States macroeconomic data fueled a rebound.” (Cointelegraph)
+ The three most talked about stocks on WallStreetBets in the past 24 hours were: 1) Tesla +5.9% 2) AMD +1.8% 3) Nvidia +3.1%
The market moves you need to know about…
– ”Maybe we should take a page out of D&B’s book.” Dave & Buster’s fell 20.0% after CEO Chris Morris said he is taking his Skee-Ball and going home. It probably didn’t help that D&B (and its legendary ticker symbol: PLAY) reported a top-line miss and a big-time loss for the quarter. That was enough for Morris to call it quits after 2 years at the helm, with board chair Kevin Sheehan stepping into the line of fire as interim CEO.
– Haters will say it’s Photoshopped. Shares of Adobe fell 9.1% after offering up a piss-poor earnings outlook. The fear on the Street is that Adobe is about to get its lunch eaten by all the AI startups trying to make Photoshop and Illustrator obsolete.
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Hard Knocks: Due Diligence with Ares Management
Source: Giphy
Four NFL teams just made history by selling minority stakes to private equity investors. The Eagles, Dolphins, Bills, and Raiders will all soon see new faces in the owner’s box after the NFL approved the sale of small ownership stakes in the teams to several firms. Meanwhile, Cowboys fans are trying to work out how they can get a new majority owner right now.
Among other notable individual investors (including Alibaba co-founder Joe Tsai), Ares Management and Arctos Partners are each snapping up the maximum 10% chunk of the Miami Dolphins and Buffalo Bills, respectively. Meanwhile, the Philadelphia Eagles are selling an 8% stake to 2 investor groups, with a valuation of $8.3B.
The deals follow a decision by the NFL back in August to allow for private equity to buy up to a 10% stake in each team. And honestly, the NFL is pretty late to the game. It appears CTE is impacting the front office, too, because the NBA, MLB, NHL, and MLS have all been allowing private equity ownership (up to 30%) for years.
After all, why not? Why shouldn’t I [buy] it?
Turns out, the bloodsuckers in PE weaseled their way into a juicy asset class. Over the last 30+ years that Eagles owner Jeffrey Lurie has been running the show, the team’s value has increased 13.2% each year. Yep, that’s a better return than the S&P 500 over the same period *money printer go brrr*.
Commissioner Roger Goodell previously hinted this day would come, stating, “We’ve had a tremendous amount of interest [from private equity firms], and we believe this could make sense for us in a limited fashion.” Duh.
+ Inflation remains stickier than the pages of the Victoria's Secret catalog at your parent’s house when you were a teenager…
Just because it met expectations, doesn't mean Consumer Price Index data was "good." CPI jumped 2.7% year over year. Spoiler: that annual rate was 0.1 percentage points higher than October.
Core CPI (the Fed's preferred strain), rose 3.3% YOY and 0.3% MOM. That annual figure was flat vs. October's data.
Despite inflation remaining stubborn, the market is now pricing in a 99% chance of a rate cut next week.
+ Profits? I haven’t heard that word in years…
GameStop (+7.5%) reported a top-line miss, but surprised investors by swinging to a profit. As you might have guessed, shares popped on the news.
Of course, it probably doesn’t hurt that Keith Gill aka Roaring Kitty aka Deep F*cking Value came back on the scene with a mysterious tweet last week. He can’t keep getting away with this.
+ Felt cute, might commit accounting fraud later…
Macy’s (-0.8%) just finished up their investigation into an employee who single-handedly cooked the books to the tune of $151M over the last three years. The employee in question was intentionally making incorrect accounting entries and creating falsified documents, all revolving around package delivery expenses. No one man should have all that power.
After uncovering the issue in November, Macy’s delayed earnings until they could get their sh*t together. The “Fragrance Destination” (finally) reported earnings. And it wasn’t pretty. The department store missed on the top line and lowered its earnings outlook for the full year.
+ Mondelez’s trip down the Hershey highway is coming to an end…
Hershey (-5.4%) turned down Mondelez’s advances, indicating that the Oreo maker’s offer was a sad excuse of a proposal (think: too low). The two were reportedly in talks to combine into a $50B confectionary conglomerate that is the stuff of GLP-1 maker’s wet dreams.
Mondelez wasted no time moving on, authorizing $9B in share buybacks and indicating it would pursue smaller “bolt-on” deals.
+ ‘Unverifiable income’ can limit your mortgage options — here’s how to get around it. Make sure to report the money you make selling Adderall to local high school kids…
+ Elon Musk’s net worth surpasses $400B mark — a historic first — as value of Tesla, SpaceX surge. Your daily reminder that you’re poor.
🔥 Capital gains tax on real estate: How much you'll pay when you sell a home. Friendly reminder: you only pay taxes if the government knows about the transaction.
FYI, TWC might be compensated if you click on the links above. So, what are you waiting for? Start clicking.
⏪ Yesterday we heard from Macy’s before the bell and Adobe after hours. But the biggest news of the day was CPI data.
⏩ Today we’re keeping an eye on…
+ Lovesac reports this AM
+ Broadcom, Costco, and Restoration Hardware drop earnings after the close
+ Papa John’s hosts its investor day. What do you think they serve for lunch?
Yesterday, I asked, “If you agree to never drink alcohol again, you get all the money back that you've spent on alcohol in your life. You taking that deal?”
52.7% of you are taking the deal. Not gonna lie, I thought this was going to be a lot higher. I guess I give you guys too much credit…
Here’s what some of you had to say (and my thoughts in italics)…
Nope: “$5 keg cups won't add up enough for drowning future sorrows”
Nope: “how we getting through the holidays?”
Nope: “All the vodka sodas I bought girls who never talked to me again throughout the years are priceless.” Why did they always need ‘a splash of cran?’
Yes: “It would kill me to do it but the pile of money involved would be impossible to pass up"
Nope: “What do I need the money back for if I can't blow it on alcohol?”
Yes: “But only if I also get back all the memories deleted by said alcohol” I'd think twice about that. I really don't think I'd want to see myself in the moments I don't remember.
Yes: "YES! Are you F'n kidding me?! I'll be RICH! ... it will be difficult, but that was one hell of an investment! I will seriously miss my scotch. seriously.”
And here’s today’s question…
Yesterday we talked about getting all the money back you spent on alcohol. Generally curious about how much you think you'll have spent on alcohol when it’s all said and done (think: your tab for your entire life). This includes the bar and at home.
What do you think you'll spend on alcohol (at home and at the bar) over your entire lifetime?
Oh, and one more thing…
What did you think about today's newsletter?
Does this look like the face of a guy you should take financial advice from?
No, it’s the face of an individual who is financially irresponsible/dumb enough to be talked into spending money on a family photo shoot that he could have just done with his iPhone. So, act accordingly...
This is not financial advice. Nothing in this newsletter is an investment recommendation. All content is created for entertainment, educational, or informational purposes only. Do your own research, or do yourself a favor and hire a professional.