At some point, we have to stage an intervention with Rocket, right?

Enjoy the next 4 minutes and 23 seconds of blue-chip news and commentary.

Keep on snapping necks and cashing checks,

– tyler

Rocket Companies has a fever, and the only prescription is more M&A.

For the second time in a month, Rocket $RKT ( ▲ 2.36% ) has single-handedly consolidated the real estate industry.

The company founded by the only person who LeBron hated more than Stephen A. Smith at one point (sup, Dan Gilbert) acquired mortgage service provider Mr. Cooper Group for $9.4B. And can we all agree that literally any other ABC TGIF show would have been a better namesake for a home loan servicer, right? (think: Full House, Family Matters, Step by Step)

Rocket shareholders will own 75% of the combined company as part of the all-stock deal.

Mr. Cooper will add nearly 7M mortgages to Rocket’s portfolio, and the collab will usher in the next housing crisis create a home loan giant that represents 1 in every 6 mortgages in the US. Lina Khan just died a little bit inside.

And this ain’t even Rocket’s first rodeo this month. Just 3 weeks ago, it bought online brokerage Redfin for $1.75B.

Why though?

“Synergies.” - Rocket Companies, probably

Turns out, Rocket has gotten pretty good at the art of the upsell and slinging additional loans and mortgages to current customers, hence the insatiable appetite for managing debt.

And zooming out, it appears that Rocket is pretty bullish on the real estate market mounting a comeback (…and home sales and mortgage originations mooning). Bold strategy Cotton, let’s see if it pays off for ‘em.

+ “I mean, f*ck, I like pills, I like drugs…”

Big day for Big Pharma on Monday. First, some bad news for the big swingin’ v*x makers, especially Moderna $MRNA ( ▲ 3.6% ) and Novavax $NVAX ( ▼ 9.38% ). Shares tumbled after Peter Marks, the FDA’s top vaccine regulator, resigned.

Turns out that Petey Pricks isn’t a fan of RFK Jr.’s appointment as the head of Health and Human Services and decided to quit in protest. Investors are panicked that vaccine approvals might slow down with Kennedy in the driver’s seat.

Speaking of peak human health… the company that wants to “solve all disease” AKA Google’s $GOOGL ( ▲ 1.43% ) AI drug business, Isomorphic Labs, just raised $600M in its first external fundraise. Thrive Capital led the round, which included participation from Google Ventures and, obviously, Alphabet.

Founder/CEO Bryan Johnson Demis Hassabis said the new funding will “turbocharge the development of our next-gen AI drug design engine”… which sounds like something Martin Shkreli would say before jacking up prices 600%. ICYMI, Isomorphic has already won itself a Nobel Prize for its AI platform AlphaFold that predicts protein structures (whatever the f*ck that actually means).

+ Logan Roy was right. Conservative cable is making a comeback.

Conservative cable channel Newsmax $NMAX ( ▼ 2.14% ) IPO’d on the NYSE Monday, and snowflakes just can’t catch a break. Shares went parabolic, jumping more than 700%, closing at $83. Currently, Newsmax sits in 4th place behind Fox News, MSNBC, and CNN. Your move, Babylon Bee.

+ Speaking of conservative media… Trump Media & Technology Group $DJT ( ▼ 2.28% ) became the first company listed on the new NYSE Texas exchange. To be fair, Texas is now the home to the largest number of companies listed on the NYSE, with over $3.7T market value combined.

+ Paul Marchant, Primark’s incredibly horny CEO, has resigned in disgrace after admitting to an “error of judgment” towards a “woman in a social situation.” Bookmarking for later when the juicy details come out…

+ “These hoes ain’t loyal” - Amazon

Once again, warehouse employees at Amazon $AMZN ( ▲ 1.0% ) will be screened by metal detectors when they leave for the day. They’ll also have to register their phones to prevent theft… and will presumably be asked to piss in bottles to be more efficient. Friendly reminder: in 2014, SCOTUS had to hear a case from Amazon warehouse workers complaining about not receiving compensation for time spent standing in line for screenings. Spoiler: Amazon won.

+ Annnnd it’s gone. CoreWeave $CRWV ( ▼ 18.51% ) shares closed down 7% yesterday, dropping below its IPO price. Have they considered launching a right-leaning cable news network?

+ US stocks were mixed on Monday ”as traders nervously looked ahead to President Donald Trump’s tariff plans.” (CNBC)

+ The 10-year yield was “lower on Monday as investors try to gauge the impact that U.S. President Donald Trump’s trade tariffs will have on the U.S. economy.” (CNBC)

+ Oil “prices climbed about 2% to a five-week high on Monday on worries supplies could decline if U.S. President Donald Trump follows through on threats to impose more tariffs on Russia and to possibly attack Iran.” (Reuters)

+ The three most talked about stocks on WallStreetBets in the past 24 hours were: 1) Visa +7.6% 2) Nvidia -1.2% 3) Hims & Hers Health +0.4%

⏪ Yesterday…

+ Intel kicked off its two-day Intel Vision event

⏩ Today we’re keeping an eye on…

+ Quarterly sales data from Tesla, Nio, XPeng, Rivian Automotive, Li Auto, ZEEKR Intelligent, Polestar Automotive, and Lucid Group

+ Sportradar will host an Investor Day event

Yesterday, I asked, “Growing up did your parents have an extra fridge in the garage/basement?”

71.1% of you said of course.

Here’s what some of you guys had to say…

And here’s today’s question…

Oh, and one more thing…

Does this look like the face of a guy you should take financial advice from?

No, it’s the face of an individual who is financially irresponsible/dumb enough to be talked into spending money on a family photo shoot that he could have just done with his iPhone. So, act accordingly...

This is not financial advice. Nothing in this newsletter is an investment recommendation. All content is created for entertainment, educational, or informational purposes only. Do your own research, or do yourself a favor and hire a professional.