TOGETHER WITH
Hey there weekday warrior,
Here’s what’s on the agenda today…
OpenAI would really like a government bailout, Elon gets paid, and Peloton is doing what it does best (maim riders).
Enjoy the next 4 minutes and 23 seconds of blue-chip news and commentary.
Keep on snapping necks and cashing checks,
Government Bailout
IYKYK
Nvidia stock: *drops 9% over the past week*
OpenAI: “Look, we need a bailout.”
Today in things that might be dumber than telling an IG man on the street interviewer what your annual revenue is expected to be (sup, Snowflake): OpenAI’s CFO asking for a… bailout.
The ChatGPT maker’s CFO said, “OpenAI is looking to create an ecosystem of banks, private equity, and a federal ‘backstop’ or ‘guarantee’ that could help the company finance its investments in cutting-edge chips.”
She regretted her decision immediately, as you might expect.
Before she could offer a groveling apology, All-In Podcast Co-Host/White House Crypto/AI Czar “Rain Man” David Sacks made it clear that wasn’t happening…
Sarah took to LinkedIn to clarify her comments (presumably because Sam Altman had her children tied up in a basement). She said, “As the full clip of my answer shows, I was making the point that American strength in technology will come from building real industrial capacity, which requires the private sector and government playing their part.”
And this, ladies and gentlemen, is why media training is so expensive.
Oh, and just in case Sare wasn’t sure how badly she f*cked up, Sam A. took to Twitter…
I hear Perplexity is hiring, Sarah…
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+ Elon: *laughs in rich*
Spoiler: most Tesla $TSLA ( ▼ 3.68% ) investors are pretty bullish on Elon Musk. Shareholders approved his potential (nearly) $1T pay package by a wide margin. Roughly three-quarters of shareholders were in favor of the yuge payday.
It’s probably worth noting that the comp package is tied to the success of the company. Elon will need to engineer roughly $7T in market cap over the next decade to unlock the full value. To be fair, they say the first $1.5T is the hardest…
+ Ah sh*t, here we go again…
Peloton $PTON ( ▲ 14.16% ) just recalled 833k of its Bike+ (its highest-end stationary bike) after multiple injuries were reported (eat the rich, amirite?). Seat Saddle posts are breaking at an alarming pace, causing riders to plummet literally tens of inches.
If this sounds familiar, that’s because it isn’t the first time Peloton has been in hot water for killing people…
+ If my math is correct, nearly 1k sh*thead kids in the tri-state are about to say “do you know who my father is?”
Yesterday, Goldman $GS ( ▼ 0.16% ) promoted 638 employees to MD, which is basically Wall Street royalty. Congrats to all the newly minted Managing Directors… I hope you all fall off your Peloton.
+ “Give me your old, your poor, your waddling massives.”
POTUS just announced that the fat loss drugs are about to be a whole lot cheaper (or at least a bit more reasonable) for Medicare or Medicaid recipients and your average American (read: overweight).
GLP-1s will run Medicare and Medicaid patients just $50. And pretty much any fatty willing to pay out of pocket via TrumpRx can pony up ~$350 for any of the GLP-1s on the market.
+ RIP Duo (again)…
Last time Duolingo $DUOL ( ▲ 3.86% ) “killed off” its owl mascot, it was all a big marketing stunt. Yesterday, Duo was not so lucky.
The language education app for millennials without any hopes and dreams had its worst day ever. Shares tumbled 25% on news that it was planning to spend money (to make money). Its focus on revenue over profit did not sit well with investors.
+ They can’t keep getting away with this…
Anyway… shares of Take-Two $TTWO ( ▼ 8.08% ) were down bad after hours.
+ US stocks “retreated on Thursday as companies that have benefited from the artificial intelligence trade came under pressure yet again amid concern about their eye-watering valuations.” (CNBC)
+ The 10-year yield “moved lower on Thursday as investors sought safety following a broad wave of selling in U.S. equities, which pushed the tech-heavy Nasdaq Composite down more than 1.5%.” (Seeking Alpha)
+ Oil “prices declined on Thursday as investors considered a potential supply glut, as well as weakened demand in the United States, the world’s largest oil consumer.” (Reuters)
+ The “smart” money (prediction markets) thinks there’s a 38% Beef wins the Internet Invitational. ICYMI, Beef tragically passed away last week. (Kalshi)
⏪ Yesterday…
+ Celsius, D-Wave Quantum, Oscar Health, Vistra Energy, Datadog, Moderna, Warner Bros, Shift4 Payments, Under Armour, ConocoPhillips, Jumia Technologies, NRG Energy, SharkNinja, Novavax, Yeti, Dupont De Nemours, and Aspen Aerogels reported before the bell
+ SoundHound, Airbnb, Trade Desk, Archer Aviation, IREN, Nuscale Power, DraftKings, Affirm, Block, Opendoor, MP Materials, Take-Two, Monster, Innodata, USA Rare Earth, Peloton, Main Street, Texas Roadhouse, Abcellera, Wynn Resorts, Sunrun, Microchip, Indie Semiconductor, Amprius, Dropbox, StoneCo, Bill.com, Sweetgreen, Doximity, and GigaCloud reported after hours
+ The National Retail Federation issued its 2025 holiday sales forecast
⏩ Today we’re keeping an eye on…
+ Constellation Energy, Enbridge, KKR & Co, and Duke Energy report before the opening bell
On Wednesday, I asked, “It's 2 AM. You're drunk as a skunk and you're with your best friends. You skipped dinner and you're starving. What's the move?”
55.4% of you said, “Go to Denny's.”
Here’s what some of you guys had to say…
Go to Denny's: “Pizza Hut fell off somewhere in the 90s and Papa John’s has always been trash. Breakfast Dagwood FTW.”
Order Pizza Hut: “Order enough for the two chicks that should be with you! #wingman”
Go to Denny's: “Since waffle house isnt an option here, gotta go with the dennys slam, two pancakes, scrambled eggs, and hashbrowns with a side order of biscuits and gravy.”
Go to Denny's: “The smart man would preemptively buy a Taco Bell burrito to stick in the fridge later before he goes drinking.”
Go to Denny's: “No delivery, everyone will be passed out by the time it gets there.”
Here’s today’s question…
You have 90 minutes to kill at the airport. What are you doing?
Truth.
Oh, and one more thing…
What did you think about today's newsletter?
Sent from my Amazon Fire Phone. Please excuse any mistakes and typos.
Does this look like the face of a guy you should take financial advice from?
No, it’s the face of an individual who is financially irresponsible/dumb enough to be talked into spending money on a family photo shoot that he could have just done with his iPhone. So, act accordingly...
This is not financial advice. Nothing in this newsletter is an investment recommendation. All content is created for entertainment, educational, or informational purposes only. Do your own research, or do yourself a favor and hire a professional.