TOGETHER WITH
Hey there weekday warriors,
Here’s what’s on tap today… Robinhood just dropped a platinum card you can’t afford, Kalshi is taking heat, and OpenAI is trying so hard to keep up with Anthropic.
Enjoy the next 3 minutes and 19 seconds of blue-chip news and commentary.
Keep on snapping necks and cashing checks,
Going platinum
“Impressive. Very nice. Let’s see Vlad Tenev’s card…” - Amex customers yesterday
Robinhood $HOOD ( ▼ 4.23% ) just rolled out the “actual” Platinum card, and yes, that’s a direct dig at Amex $AXP ( ▼ 2.05% ).
Obviously, Ken Griffin’s (you think we forgot?) new favorite credit card has absolutely nothing to do with stealing from the rich or giving to the poor. It comes with a $695 annual price tag (still less than Amex’s $895… because, math).
But on the wealthy plus side, the card supposedly offers “$3k in annual value…”
And it offers 5% cash back at restaurants… and 10% on hotels and rental cars.
(BTW, this is not a paid advertisement, but I am not above forgiving Vlad for that whole GameStop debacle. Everyone has a price. Have your people call my people, Vlad.)
Oh, and in case you’re wondering if you’re enough of a big spender to get on the list, you’re not.
Per Robinhood Money’s VP Deepak Rao, the Platinum came about because of HOOD Gold card users hitting spending limits from trying to buy big-ticket items, including “satellites.” Which, what?
Meanwhile, most of the internet (read: poors) just reacted to the news by whining about how they’re still on the Gold waitlist…
Sad.
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+ If you can’t trust an openly degenerate gambling market, who CAN you trust?
In case you missed it, it’s my understanding that there is a war going on right now. And who is suffering the most? That’s right. It’s gamblers, er, predictors. Turns out Kalshi is taking heat from users who bet on the, let’s say, “ending” of Iranian Supreme Leader Ayatollah Ali Khamenei’s reign. Which looked a little like this…
Anyway, degens spent $54M trading on whether Khamenei would be “out as Supreme Leader” by a certain date. So when Khaleesi was confirmed dead, bettors expected to cash in. Instead, Kalshi pointed to guidelines that markets can’t be “directly tied to death.”
*double checks the fine print on my prediction that Jesus will hit death with the reverse UNO card*
+ CopeGPT.
OpenAI is rolling out its next model (5.4), which is supposedly better at office work and finance tools. Oh, so it’s Anthropic?
Speaking of Dario Amodei vs. Scam Alman…
Yesterday, Anthropic was officially blacklisted by the Pentagon (read: it was notified that it had been labeled a “supply chain risk”). ICYMI, OpenAI was happy to pick up right where Claude left off.
During a conference yesterday, @sama threw some major shade at Anthropic’s unwillingness to simp for Uncle Sam. Sam Altman went full boot licker, indicating that he believes “the government is supposed to be more powerful than private companies.”
+ The bad news? You’re losing your Oracle job because the company needs to free up more capital to spend on compute.
The worse news? You won’t have any money to afford your electricity bill that will rise because of all those data centers…
Oracle $ORCL ( ▼ 1.14% ) is laying off “thousands” of workers. Turns out David’s daddy is a little low on cash as he mainlines every dollar directly into AI expansion (spoiler: Nvidia chips). Oracle already said that it’ll raise $50B via debt and equity this year.
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> Anthropic back in talks with Pentagon — days after CEO said he refused to give Trump ‘dictator-style praise’ (NY Post) // Art of the deal.
> Berkshire’s New CEO Restarts Stock Buybacks, Buys Shares Himself (WSJ) // Nature is healing.
> Goldman Junior Bankers’ Photo Shoot in Hermes, Tom Ford Sparks Blame Game (Bloomberg) // I’d rather have my son join ISIS than end up like these “finance boys”…
> Simple economics at play here…
Yesterday I asked, “Does listening to an audiobook count as ‘reading a book’?”
68% of you said, “Hell nah. You didn't read that sh*t.” Soo close to 69...
Here’s what some of you guys had to say (and my response in italics)…
Hell nah. You didn't read that sh*t: “Audiobooks are just podcasts.” Shots fired.
Hell yes. Same Same: “Someone that drives enough to listen to a hour a day, plus I have dyslexia (yes I googled how to spell it) it counts. Everyone saying no has no heart.” Thanks for coming out to us.
Hell nah. You didn't read that sh*t: “This is the equivalent of playing Call of Duty and claiming to be a veteran.” Tell that to my shrink who treats me for COD PTSD.
Hell nah. You didn't read that sh*t: “No, Chad. Rotating between an audio book and Joe Rogan while you meal prep does not constitute reading.” My name is Tyler.
Hell yes. Same Same: “Ask a blind person what they think. How’re you feeling now?” Any blind people feel like weighing in?
Here’s today’s question(s)…
Where do you fall on the credit card spectrum?
- Pay a high annual fee for a card, use a bunch of the benefits, and/or you have a bunch of cards
- Pay a small annual fee for a card, don't really use benefits, and/or you only have 1-2 credit cards
- Use a debit card (the chaotic neutral of cards)
- Don't use any cards. Cash only. Probably have gold buried in your yard
+ US stocks “resumed their decline Thursday after a one-day respite as concerns over the Iran war flared up again with U.S. crude topping $80 per barrel.” (CNBC)
+ The 10-year yield “moved higher on Thursday after the latest developments in the U.S.-Iran war and newly released economic data put investors back on edge.” (CNBC)
+ Oil “prices rallied on Thursday on growing disruption to global oil supplies caused by the U.S.-Israeli war with Iran, with U.S. futures prices rising faster than the international benchmark Brent futures as Washington said it may take action in the futures market to combat rising energy prices.” (Reuters)
+ The “smart” money (prediction markets) thinks that there’s only a 37% chance the Fed cuts rates by the June meeting. (Polymarket)
⏪ Yesterday…
+ JD.com, Kroger, Ciena, and Bilibili reported before the opening bell
+ Costco, Marvell, Samsara, The Gap, and Rumble reported after hours
⏩ Today we’re keeping an eye on…
+ The January Retail Sales report will drop
+ The February jobs report will be released
Oh, and one more thing…
What did you think about today's newsletter?
Sent from my Amazon Fire Phone. Please excuse any mistakes and typos.
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