TOGETHER WITH
Hey there weekday warrior,
Here’s what’s on tap today… Anthropic taps Microsoft to keep up with OpenAI, SpaceX thinks the limit does exist on what space AI is worth, and quantum stonks only move one way: parabolic.
Enjoy the next 3 minutes and 59 seconds of blue-chip news and commentary.
Keep on snapping necks and cashing checks,
PS… Memorial Day on Monday. Pour one out (no joke). Next email to you on Wednesday.
PPS… thanks in advance for doing your part in keeping TWC free and independent (read: clicking and checking out our advertising partners daily).
Fast & furious
Live look at the AI IPO race right now…
On Tuesday, Anthropic announced its latest hire: Andrej Karpathy.
Who cares about a LinkedIn update, you ask? Well, AK happens to be one of the co-founders of OpenAI and a former Tesla $TSLA ( ▲ 1.94% ) exec, which, who isn’t at this point?
Andrej 3000 is working on Anthro’s “pre-training” team (think: the thing that trains Claude’s core capabilities). Oh, so the pre-c*m of a large language model?
Meanwhile, our AI overlords (read: Anthropic and OpenAI) have been hard at work racing towards the metaphorical cliff that represents the extinction of the human race IPO.
Rumors have been bubbling all week that @sama may confidentially file for IPO as early as today.
But Claude didn’t hear no bell…
Yesterday, Anthropic made a move to sneaky link up with Microsoft $MSFT ( ▼ 0.12% ). Bill Gates Satya may land a deal to supply Claude with new custom AI chips after having agreed to a $5B investment last year.
Friendly reminder: that’d be a yuge win for the maker of Teams, who has been falling behind Amazon $AMZN ( ▼ 0.7% ) and Google $GOOG ( ▼ 1.04% ) in attempts to sell its Maia AI chip.
Oh, and just in case this circle jerk wasn’t enough of a clusterf*ck for you, allow me to remind you that Microsoft has invested billions into OpenAI (and even employed Sam Altman for a few hours). Spoiler: that relationship is of the “complicated” variety at the moment.
The Market's Volatile. Your Mind Doesn't Have to Be.
You track earnings, follow the Fed, and read between the lines of every press release. But even the sharpest market minds need a place to decompress. May is Mental Health Awareness Month, a good reminder that managing your mental health is just as important as managing your portfolio.
Therapy isn't just for crisis moments. It's a space to manage stress, think more clearly, and stop letting the noise get to you.
BetterHelp makes getting started simple. Complete a short questionnaire and get matched with a licensed therapist who fits your needs — often within 24 hours. Sessions are available by phone, video, or live chat, and you can message your therapist anytime.
Get 25% off your first month of therapy and keep your head in the game.
+ Total addressable ma… de-up-numbers
In case you missed it, SpaceX filed to go public on Wednesday. Which meant a lot of people were doing quick math on Thursday. Spoiler: the math did not math.
Elon’s rocket co. is seeking a $2T valuation… on $18.7B of 2025 revenue and $3.2B in revenue from Starlink for the first 3 months of the year. Oh, and did I mention $29B of debt?
Shouldn’t be a problem for $SEX $SPCX, tho. Apparently, Elon’s estimate of a total addressable market for SpaceX also set records at *checks notes* $28.5T… like anyone could even know that.
+ “Y’all got any more of that government cheese?”
Quantum stonks did exactly what they do (think: went to the f*cking moon) yesterday after Uncle Sam declared $2B in grants going to nine quantum companies.
IBM $IBM ( ▲ 0.34% ) will pick up the lion’s share (~$1B). As part of the program, the NIST will score minority stakes in each company working to build supercomputers.
Meanwhile, $375M will be earmarked for GlobalFoundries $GFS ( ▲ 5.27% ), and D-Wave $QBTS ( ▲ 14.22% ), Rigetti $RGTI ( ▲ 19.87% ), and Infleqtion $INFQ ( ▲ 8.98% ) will get $100M.
For science, duh.
+ In Jensen we trust…
DJ Jazzy Jensen dropped fresh beats on the top and bottom line of Nvidia’s $NVDA ( ▼ 1.95% ) Q1 earnings on Wednesday. But for the fourth straight quarter (all earnings beats, for the record), markets went all “that don’t impress me much.”
Not even the $80B share repurchase or the 25 cents per share dividend bump were enough to send shares higher.
Quick math: that should equate to around $203M of extra straight cash homie going in Jensen’s pocket each quarter…
> (Thursday) Victoria’s Secret brings sexy back with VSXY ticker after woke rebrand crashes and burns // And ISTG if this link gets the most clicks in this whole email, just so you can see the pics, I’ll send a BONK to all of you.
> (Thursday) Oura, smart ring maker, confidentially files for IPO // One [smart] ring to rule them all, and in the darkness bind them.
> (Wednesday) Fed minutes from divisive meeting show officials prepping for possible rate hike as inflation fears intensify // …
> (Tuesday) Polymarket launches private company trading so investors can speculate on Anthropic, OpenAI // Post-stonk market world loading…
> (Tuesday) Google gives first glimpse of new AI glasses ahead of fall launch & Google debuts new AI models, personal AI agents in effort to keep pace with OpenAI and Anthropic // Are we ever really going to wear smart glasses? Be real.
> Boomers still be like “StoP EaTInG So MUCh AvOCaDo TOaSt!”
Hands Down One Of The Best Credit Cards For Balance Transfers
Balance Transfer cards can help you pay off high-interest debt faster. The FinanceBuzz editors reviewed dozens of cards with 0% intro APR offers for balance transfers and found the perfect cards. Take a look at this article to find out how you can pay no interest on balance transfers until nearly 2026 with this top credit card.
Some of the top credit card experts identified one of their favorites that puts interest on ice until nearly 2027 AND offers up to 5% cash back on qualifying purchases. Talk about the best of both worlds!
On Tuesday, I asked, “What's the worst thing about jury duty?”
45.5% of you said, “No idea, I've never been on a jury.” Well… this is awkward…
Here’s what some of you guys had to say (and my response in italics)…
The time wasted: “Spent a week on a federal jury trial where a man- Sean Dix- threatened to kill Ted Turner. The threat was sent via fax from NYC to Atlanta, which was an interstate threat, thus a federal crime.” Uh… are you really supposed to be telling us this?
The time wasted: “I want to waste time doing things I want on my time - like reading this newsletter.” Humbled.
Other (write-in): “Pretending not to be racist.” Sort of the opposite of a Family Guy moment, huh?
No idea, I’ve never been on a jury: “The scariest thing about juries is that they're full of people who arent' smart enough to get out of jury duty.” Terrifying.
The time wasted: “Getting out of work one day for the summons isn't that big of a deal, it's the getting pick and likely losing a week work. Funny timing with Exit Interview Q Tyler/Other Tyler. I actually got a jury summons on Tuesday. Been selected the last three times, I really need to get out of this time around.” Godspeed.
Here’s today’s question(s)…
I got hungry (and angry) when I saw this on Wednesday: Doritos maker PepsiCo to hike prices on small chip bags
If you could only eat one chip brand for the rest of your life, which one is it?
+ US stocks extended losses Tuesday (S&P 500: -0.7%) as tech lost momentum but rallied hard on Wednesday (S&P 500: +1.1%) and jumped slightly Thursday (S&P 500: +0.1%) as everyone recovered from Nvidia’s earnings… because it should just be the S&P 1.
🟢 (Thursday) Spotify soars 15% after announcing AI music deal with UMG, guidance // Did anyone tell Peloton $PTON ( ▲ 10.62% )?
🟢 (Thursday) Ralph Lauren Stock Soars on Strong Results // My pony.
🔴 (Wednesday) Hasbro Stock Falls Most in More Than A Year // “F*ck them [iPad] kids.” - Michael Jordan
🔴 (Wednesday) Intuit plans to cut workforce by about 17% as tax software maker reckons with slowing growth // Stonk’s down bad.
+ The 10-year yield reached a new high on Tuesday but retreated Wednesday and Thursday as oil came down. Close call.
+ Oil prices dropped Tuesday and Wednesday after #47 called off a military strike and wavered a bit on Thursday as everyone wondered WTF is going on in Iran.
+ The “smart” money (prediction markets) thinks that there’s an 87% chance that OpenAI’s valuation hits over $900B this year. (Polymarket)
⏩ Today we’re keeping an eye on…
+ BJ’s Wholesale Club and Booz Allen Hamilton report before the opening bell
+ FTSE Russell will publish the lists of companies that are slated to be added to or removed from the Russell indexes
⏩⏩ On Monday…
+ Memorial Day, son. Remember.
⏩⏩ On Tuesday…
+ AutoZone, Pony AI, and Paramount report before the bell
+ Zscaler, Semtech, Modine Manufacturing, and Digital Turbine report after hours
Oh, and one more thing…
What did you think about today's newsletter?
Sent from my Amazon Fire Phone. Please excuse any mistakes and typos.
Does this look like the face of a guy you should take financial advice from?
No, it’s the face of a guy with a Nano Banana account and a wild imagination. So, act accordingly...
This is not financial advice. Nothing in this newsletter is an investment recommendation. All content is created for entertainment, educational, or informational purposes only. Do your own research, or do yourself a favor and hire a professional.