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Hey there weekday warrior. Here’s what’s on tap today… Netflix and Paramount just need to kiss and get it over with already, Minnesota CEOs are tired of this sh*t, and TikTok is inevitably still in limbo.
Enjoy the next 3 minutes and 31 seconds of blue-chip news and commentary.
Keep on snapping necks and cashing checks,
Don’t look down
“Ok, but do they show it if he falls?” - what everyone was asking their Clawdbot about the Alex Honnold climb
Yuge weekend for snowed-in, high-risk sports streaming. In the red corner, Netflix $NFLX ( ▲ 1.65% ) went full Dolph Lundgren.
In what was probably the least conducive stream for Netflix & Chill’ing possible, the Blockbuster killer aired the latest ascent from free-solo climber Alex Honnold. Because apparently, they couldn’t secure the broadcast rights to the Jason Luv vs. Adam 22 fight.
Real-life Spider-Man scaled 508 meters (that’s 1.6k feet in American) up the Taipei 101 skyscraper over the course of 95 minutes.
Meanwhile, due to a rain delay that Netflix couldn’t possibly have foreseen (or controlled via cloud seeding), Alex’s climb coincided almost perfectly with UFC’s $TKO ( ▲ 1.8% ) big premiere on Paramount+ $PSKY ( ▲ 0.38% ).
In the (sky)blue corner…
UFC 324 brought streamers the first-ever non-PPV, livestreamed fight night on Paramount+. And honestly, Scousers don’t get knocked out.
Friendly reminder that the UFC already secured the bag (read: doubled its annual media rights value) when it switched from ESPN to Paramount. Dana White & Co. will make a cool $1.1B per year from David Ellison through 2031.
On the next episode of Streaming Wars…
Netflix presents Millie Bobby Brown free-soloing the Burj Khalifa on the same night that Paramount+ presents Billy Bob Thornton vs. [one of the cowboys from the Yellowstone cinematic universe].
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Minnesota-based CEOs just want to get back to doing what they do best: creating shareholder value. A coalition of MN fat cats signed a strongly worded letter yesterday calling for de-escalation in the land of 10k lakes.
60+ CEOs of MN corporations, including Target $TGT ( ▲ 4.24% ), 3M $MMM ( ▲ 4.59% ), Cargill, General Mills $GIS ( ▼ 1.03% ), Hormel $HRL ( ▼ 0.64% ), and UnitedHealth $UNH ( ▲ 3.02% ), signed on to call for “real solutions” after ICE shot Alex Pretti in Minneapolis on Saturday.
+ “See, I told you it would work.” - the marketing guy who really wanted to name the company USA Rare Earth
According to the FT, the White House (so, I guess you and me?) is taking a 10% stake in USA Rare Earth $USAR ( ▲ 6.02% ) as part of a $1.6B investment. Who’s going to tell them USAR’s market cap is currently $3.4B?
This is just the latest investment by the administration in rare earth metal miners and processors.
+ “You think that’s standard?” -me, finding out how many teens are talking to AI character bots
Meta $META ( ▼ 1.31% ) shared Friday that it’ll be temporarily limiting teens’ access to AI chatbot characters while it prepares an “updated experience.” Minors won’t be able to chat with characters, only the Meta AI assistant for the time being. Meanwhile, Roblox be like, “Yeah, this is exactly why we only let minors interact with grown-a** adults…”
The timing makes sense, considering Zuck is facing multiple child safety lawsuits and scheduled to stand trial in LA this week over child harm charges. Don’t these kids have parents anymore?
> Trump threatens to impose 100% tariff if Canada makes deal with China (CNBC) // TACO Tuesday came early…
> Flight disruptions from massive winter storm will linger Monday (CNBC) // It’s days like today that everyone misses working in offices…
> Intel shares plunge as chipmaker suffers manufacturing woes, inventory shortages (NY Post) // “Who could have possibly seen this coming?” - absolutely no one
> Tell me we’re back without telling me we’re back…
I’m not mad… I’m disappointed…
Turns out, some of you still haven’t completed this 5-minute survey that will help make your TWC experience even better in 2026.
And if my guilt trip doesn’t work… friendly reminder that one lucky (random) survey participant will win $500 in straight cash homie just for getting to the end.
Friday, I asked, “Stormaggedon is set to cause absolute mayhem this weekend. Who is in charge of monitoring the weather situation in the household? (think: who's got the Doppler pulled up on their phone right now?)”
35.9% of you said, “The Man (my wife/girlfriend has no idea about incoming storms).”
Here’s what some of you guys had to say…
Both (we run the Situation Room together): “She tracks it with the locals, I make the plan”
Other: “Monitoring from 70° Arizona”
Nobody (we just hear about weather updates from friends/family and/or looking outside): “It's just January.”
The Man (my wife/girlfriend has no idea about incoming storms): “I don’t need no weather app, my arthritis tells me exactly when a storm is brewing”
Other: “We're here in Cali about to mow the lawns again... Have fun y'all!”
Here’s today’s question(s)…
A whopping 64.6% of you correctly predicted Super Bowl LX: Pats v Seahawks (good for you). Now, who wins it all? And how? Make no mistakes.
+ US stocks “were mixed on Friday, as the Nasdaq Composite extended its gains amid easing geopolitical fears and the Dow Jones Industrial Average underperformed.” (CNBC)
+ The 10-year yield was “relatively unchanged to end the week as investors weighed the state of the U.S. economy and fears eased around trade and geopolitics.” (CNBC)
+ Oil “rose Friday after U.S. President Donald Trump flagged potential military action against major producer Iran, raising concerns over more supply disruptions in the Middle East. ” (Reuters)
+ The “smart” money (prediction markets) thinks there’s a 79% chance we get another US government shutdown this week. (Polymarket)
⏪ On Friday…
+ Schlumberger dropped earnings before the bell
+ The preliminary University of Michigan consumer sentiment/inflation expectation survey dropped
⏩ Today we’re keeping an eye on…
+ Nucor, AGNC Investment, and Brown & Brown report after the close
Oh, and one more thing…
What did you think about today's newsletter?
Sent from my Amazon Fire Phone. Please excuse any mistakes and typos.
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