TOGETHER WITH
Hey there weekday warrior. Here’s what’s on tap today… Disney is making a huge investment in OpenAI, the SpaceX IPO rumors are true (no, really), and TIME’s 2025 Person of the Year is…
Enjoy the next 3 minutes and 24 seconds of blue-chip news and commentary.
Keep on snapping necks and cashing checks,
Walt would never
Surely Disney adults won’t use this technology in the most horrific ways, right? Right?
The House of Mouse just dropped tres comas in Sam Altman’s piggy bank.
Disney $DIS ( ▲ 0.13% ) is making a $1B investment in OpenAI per the literal devil himself, Bob Iger. The deal will also give Disney the rights to purchase additional equity… which makes sense since it’ll be sitting on fat stacks of cash once ChatGPT replaces its entire CGI animation staff.
“Now get to the good part” - those h*rny Rule 34 weirdos
The creators of the thiccest superhero mom to ever do it also inked a three-year licensing agreement that will allow OpenAI to (legally) feature its characters on Sora.
That’s right, Sora AI users will be able to make slop videos with over 200 Disney, Marvel, Pixar, and Star Wars characters beginning next year.
Awkward timing for Disney to cozy up with AI…
Friendly reminder that on Wednesday, Disney sent a cease & desist to Google alleging massive copyright infringement in Gemini’s training.
There’s no way this could go wrong…
Anyway, I’ll just leave this here.
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+ Ok, I’ll bite, who is the woman cut off on the right side?
Here we were, thinking for sure that “AI” would get the 2025 Person of the Year nod. Instead, TIME threw an (unsurprising) curveball. Eight people beat out Pope Leo and Bonnie Blue, including Zuck, Jensen Huang, Elon, Sam Altman (no, not next to each other), and Lisa Su. Collectively: “THE AI ARCHITECTS.” But seriously, who is that woman on the right, you guys?
Also, why does it look like this was edited by an 11-year-old in MS Paint?
+ “It’s better different. In different but better ways.” - AI CEOs trying to win a d*ck-measuring contest the general public doesn’t care about
Sam Altman is breathing easier, and not just because Disney backed up the Brinks truck. OpenAI’s ChatGPT-5.2 dropped yesterday. Supposedly, the new model is better at “creating spreadsheets, building presentations, perceiving images, writing code, and understanding long context.” Cool story, bro…
Sam announced that he expects OpenAI should be able to exit “code red” by January. Your move, Google…
After days of SpaceX IPO rumors, Elon finally weighed in with a cryptic post on X. Is there any other way to do PR? Elon seemed to confirm a report from Ars Technica writer Eric Berger about SpaceX’s plans to go public.
Swing and a miss not responding with “funding secured”…
> Lululemon CEO Calvin McDonald to depart in January as retailer struggles to compete, woo shoppers (CNBC) // Alo just buried Cal in a shallow grave. To make matters worse for the poor b*stard who’s gotta explain to his kids why Santa is skipping the McDonald's house, shares mooned one news that he was out…
> Larry Ellison’s Wealth Plunges $25 Billion After Oracle Slump (Bloomberg) // Billionaires, they’re just like us… (read: complete failures)
> Costco tops Wall Street's sales and revenue expectations (CNBC) // Football and $1.50 Costco hot dog combos… that’s what America does.
> Trump Signs Executive Order to Curtail State AI Laws (WSJ) // David Sacks right now…
+ US stocks “notched new records on Thursday as US stocks mostly rose, with tech stocks under more pressure after Oracle (ORCL) earnings revived AI overspending worries.” (Yahoo! Finance)
+ The 10-year yield “rose for a second session as traders maintained wagers on additional rate cuts next year after a Federal Reserve meeting that proved less hawkish than anticipated.” (Yahoo! Finance)
+ Oil “fell Thursday, handing back some of the previous session’s gains after the United States’ seizure of a sanctioned oil tanker off the coast of Venezuela triggered fresh fears about supply disruptions, while investors digested new forecasts from the International Energy Agency.” (Reuters)
+ The “smart” money (prediction markets) thinks there’s a 49% chance the US seizes another Venezuelan oil ship in 2025. (Polymarket)
⏪ Yesterday…
+ Ciena reported before the bell
+ Broadcom, Costco, Lululemon, and RH reported after the bell
⏩ Today we’re keeping an eye on…
+ Notable companies due to report include Johnson Outdoors
+ Nasdaq 100 index changes should be announced
Yesterday, I asked, “You can only use one font for the rest of your life in every document from/associated with you (think: work, school, love letter, wedding invite, notes in the kid's lunchbox, divorce papers). What font are you picking?”
34.9% of you said, “Times New Roman.”
Here’s what some of you guys had to say…
Times New Roman: “What am I, a poor?”
Comic Sans (clown): “I enjoy the non-violent torturing of those around me.”
Helvetica: “Very readable without being too pre-school or court room. I would love to see the mug shots of the anarchists that answered Wingdings”
Calibri: “If the conclusive evidence shows it is easiest to read by even those with visual impairment, then of course.”
Other: “Courier, everyone knows this takes up the most space when typing a college paper”
Here’s today’s question…
Which one is the GOATed Disney franchise (multiple movies)? You have to consider ALL movies in any series in your decision, even the bad ones ('sup, "On Stranger Tides").
Oh, and one more thing…
What did you think about today's newsletter?
Sent from my Amazon Fire Phone. Please excuse any mistakes and typos.
Does this look like the face of a guy you should take financial advice from?
No, it’s the face of an individual who is financially irresponsible/dumb enough to be talked into spending money on a family photo shoot that he could have just done with his iPhone. So, act accordingly...
This is not financial advice. Nothing in this newsletter is an investment recommendation. All content is created for entertainment, educational, or informational purposes only. Do your own research, or do yourself a favor and hire a professional.