Hey there weekday warrior,
Here’s what’s on tap today… don’t freak out, but we’re in correction territory, Peloton is the latest pick from Roaring Kitty 2.0, and insider trading on Polymarket/Kalshi may get more difficult (spoiler: it won’t).
Enjoy the next 3 minutes and 2 seconds of blue-chip news and commentary.
Keep on snapping necks and cashing checks,
Department of Corrections
Gif by catchindeers on Giphy
“Correction? *takes drag of cigarette* I haven’t heard that name in years.”
The Dow Jones Industrial Average officially fell into correction territory on Friday. I’ll save you the trip to Investopedia: a correction means an index has fallen 10% from its most recent high.
The DJIA news comes just a day after the Nasdaq did the same. The S&P 500 is still fighting the good fight (read: down about 7% from its most recent high).
The market last got its correction on in April 2025, in the aftermath of Liberation Day.
Y tho?
In case you haven’t been monitoring the situation, the war in Iran has got investors more fearful than pedestrians living in Tiger Woods’ neighborhood.
Even Donny Defense Budget’s olive branch on Friday wasn’t enough to settle markets. POTUS extended a deadline that gives Iran 10 extra days to open the Strait of Hormuz (or face attacks on its power plants). The original drop-dead date was Friday.
He claims, “Talks are ongoing and, despite erroneous statements to the contrary by the Fake News Media, and others, they are going very well.” Iran begs to differ.
And just in case you were thinking, “Things can’t get much worse”…
Oil prices are back above $110. Oh, and on Friday, the odds of a Fed interest rate hike rose above 50%. You didn’t read that wrong… I said hike.
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+ Live look at Eric Jackson…
If the name Eric Jackson sounds familiar, that’s because he’s the hedge fund manager who orchestrated Opendoor’s meme stonk moment last year.
And, welp, EJ’s got a new dogsh*t stock that he thinks has room to run. Peloton $PTON ( ▲ 8.85% ) popped nearly 9% on news that the new Roaring Kitty likes the stock.
+ “Guess I’ll stop insider trading now…” - absolutely zero inside traders
CA Governor and illiterate SAT taker Gavin Newsom banned state-appointed officials from gambling on Polymarket and Kalshi if they’ve got insider info. Which, how was that not already a rule?
Of course, Kalshi was quick to remind everyone that they already ban insider trading, despite having absolutely no means to catch it…
Friendly reminder that there are currently 2 bills before Congress that would ban legislators from placing bets in prediction markets related to politics… *Nancy Pelosi has entered the chat*
+ Crime pays.
Let’s check in on everyone’s favorite white-collar criminal, shall we? SBF Theranos founder Elizabeth Holmes just got her sentence reduced by a full year. Yep, that’s 12 fewer months in Club Fed for Bloody Beth, and federal prosecutors are p*ssed.
In case you forgot, prosecutors uncovered over $450M in losses and restitutions owed to victims. Now Liz is getting time off for good behavior behind bars. TBD if she gets that pardon from Donny Clemency one of these days…
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> Avis and Hertz stocks fall as airport shutdown nears end (Investing.com) // Well, it was nice while it lasted…
> Trump signs order to pay TSA employees after Congress fails to agree on DHS funding (CNBC) // Remember when Elon acted like he was gonna pay ‘em even though it’s literally illegal? (spoiler: he wasn’t going to.)
> Sony to raise PlayStation 5 prices by up to $150 in April (Investing.com) // Just imagine how much they could jack up the price if GTA 6 were out.
On Friday I asked, “How well-traveled are you?”
42.3% of you said, “I've been to multiple countries and travel on a regular basis.” My oh my, what a cultured group we have here.
Here’s what some of you guys had to say (and my response in italics)…
Solid. I’ve been to a few countries and try to travel every now and then: “Been around the world and I, I, I And we been playa hated (say what?) I don't know and I don't know why Why they want us faded (hahaha) I don't know why they hate us (yeah) Is it our ladies Or our drop Mercedes? (Uh-huh, uh, uh) Baby, baby” Nice timing with the P. Diddy reference…
Solid. I’ve been to a few countries and try to travel every now and then “I did a semester abroad in 7th grade. France, man, nude beaches and they let me order Cointreau." Nude beaches in 7th grade woulda been too much for me to handle.
I've been to multiple countries and travel on a regular basis: “Been traveling for the last 5 years since I retired, cheaper than the casino." Only if you don’t have a foolproof system for counting cards.
Regional. I really haven’t even left my tiny corner of the world: “I haven't flown in 16 years, and in that time, haven't been more than an 8-hour drive from home.” Follow up question… wtf?
‘merican. I’ve been all over the US, but not out of the country: “Ok, but have you been to Muncie, Indiana for November Tuesday night MACtion?” This is my nightmare…
Here’s today’s question(s)…
I think all the travel talk and better weather has me daydreaming about vacations, so riddle me this... What's the BEST kind of vacation?
+ US stocks “tumbled on Friday, with each of the three major U.S. indexes closing at their lowest levels in over seven months and the Dow confirming it was in correction territory as the month-long Middle East war continued to suppress risk appetite.” (Reuters)
+ The 10-year yield “was relatively unchanged on Friday as investors continued to monitor developments in the Iran war and assess economic data.” (CNBC)
+ Oil “prices rose on Friday and notched weekly gains, reflecting scepticism about prospects for a ceasefire in the month-old Iran war.” (Reuters)
+ The “smart” money (prediction markets) thinks there’s a 37% chance Anthropic IPOs this year. (Polymarket)
⏪ On Friday…
+ Carnival and TMC reported before the opening bell
⏩ Today we’re keeping an eye on…
+ Rezolve AI reports before the bell
+ Gorilla Technology and Virgin Galactic report after hours
+ J-Poww will participate in a discussion at the Harvard University Principles of Economics Class
Oh, and one more thing…
What did you think about today's newsletter?
Sent from my Amazon Fire Phone. Please excuse any mistakes and typos.
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