TOGETHER WITH
Hey there weekday warrior,
Here’s what’s on the agenda today…
Ok, maybe Sam Altman isn’t so bad after all, big banks can’t stop winning, and the US Army is testing nukes.
Enjoy the next 4 minutes and 32 seconds of blue-chip news and commentary.
Keep on snapping necks and cashing checks,
Defund the moral police
God forbid a man have hobbies…
Sam Altman has a message for all the Puritans and squares out there: we’re “not the elected moral police of the world.”
It all started Tuesday when Sammy Altman managed to piss off everyone who ever said “I’m saving myself for marriage” or went to Creed concerts before it was cool…
We made ChatGPT pretty restrictive to make sure we were being careful with mental health issues. We realize this made it less useful/enjoyable to many users who had no mental health problems, but given the seriousness of the issue we wanted to get this right.
Now that we have
— #Sam Altman (#@sama)
4:02 PM • Oct 14, 2025
Particularly this line: “In December, as we roll out age-gating more fully and as part of our ‘treat adult users like adults’ principle, we will allow even more, like erotica for verified adults.”
Yesterday, he doubled down, promising to get age restrictions right and allow adults to be adults. That means he’s not going to censor his chatbot for consenting adults.
Why is Sammy A. being so chill?
Bad news: the billionaire tech founder with ambitions of world domination may not be as altruistic as you hope. What Sam is selling as a lack of censorship is probably just part of growth at all costs. You see, that $1T in committed compute spend isn’t going to pay itself back…
At some point (presumably), investors will pressure Sam and OpenAI to start making (a lot more) money. And that’ll be damn near impossible without a huge user base (both the horny and non-horny variety).
WTF could it mean for us?
Every lame stream newsletter tells you “wHaT iT MeAnS.” At The Water Coolest, we predict tomorrow’s headlines today…
🔮 TechCrunch headline on 10/22/25 (probably): "Anthropic announces 'Claude Unfiltered Mode' (CUM) with stricter age verification than OpenAI after 69% of users surveyed demand uncensored AI"
Finally, Better Hearing for Under $100
Why pay thousands for hearing aids when Oricle gives you the same life-changing benefits for under $100?
With crystal-clear sound, wireless charging, and all-day comfort, Oricle Hearing Aids make hearing simple again. They’re virtually invisible, easy to wear, and HSA eligible with no doctor’s appointment, audiologist visit, or prescription required. Over 217,734 people have already switched to Oricle and are enjoying conversations, TV, and the sounds of life without breaking the bank. Don’t settle for overpriced hearing aids when Oricle delivers real results at an unbeatable price.
+ ‘Internet of Things’? I haven’t heard that name in years…
Don’t freak out, but the IoT is back. Walmart is adding millions of battery-free detectors (imagine if the batteries had to be changed regularly) throughout its supply chain. The goal? Always know where merch is at by outfitting 90M pallets with the tech. The vendor (who is definitely being overpaid for this) said this is the biggest deployment of this tech in the retail space to date.
+ This may be a bigger L than the American Revolution for the Brits…
The United States is exporting driverless vehicles to the UK. The cars that have managed to ruin the driving experience for anyone stuck behind one are shipping out to London in the not-so-distant future. Waymo is coming to the English capital in 2026 with safety drivers behind the wheel.
+ There is nothing more Silicon Valley than naming your bank (that accepts crypto and stablecoin deposits) after the place a dragon stores his gold in ‘The Hobbit’…
BREAKING: US approves Erebor, a new bank from @PalmerLuckey and @JTLonsdale
This is the fastest conditional approval for a depository institution de novo application in 25 years.
— #TBPN (#@tbpn)
2:47 PM • Oct 15, 2025
+ Japan be like, “The US military is deploying what now?”
The US Army said it’s launching nukes a program to develop and deploy small nuclear reactors. But before you start checking if this violates the Geneva Convention, the reactors will be built as part of a partnership with private sector companies. An “incubator” program, if you will.
As you might have expected, Uncle Sam doing non-government entities a solid sent (some) publicly traded nuclear companies mooning. Not all gainz are created equal, though. Shares of companies expected to be tapped by the Army fared much better than those on the no-fly list.
+ Bank of America $BAC ( ▼ 3.52% ) and Morgan Stanley $MS ( ▼ 1.62% ) just went all “hold my beer”…
After absolutely bonkers earnings from Goldman, Wells Fargo, and JPMorgan on Tuesday, expectations were sky-high for B of A and MS. And, welp, they delivered.
Both big banks beat the Street’s estimates bigly. Bank of America’s IB revenue jumped 43% and Morgan Stanley overtook Goldman as the biggest trader by revenue on the Street.
+ US stocks “edged mostly higher on Wednesday as markets remained alert over US-China trade tensions amid hopes for interest rate cuts and strong earnings results from Wall Street banks.” (Yahoo! Finance)
+ The 10-year yield “rose on Wednesday as investors monitored the latest developments in the U.S.-China trade war.” (CNBC)
+ Oil “eased on Wednesday to a five-month low on escalating U.S.-China trade tensions and the International Energy Agency’s prediction of a supply surplus in 2026.” (Reuters)
+ The “smart” money (prediction markets) thinks there’s a 33% chance the cap on gambling loss reduction will be repealed this year. (Kalshi)
⏪ Yesterday…
+ ASML, Bank of America, Morgan Stanley, Abbott Labs, Progressive, and Prologis reported before the bell
+ United Airlines reported after the bell
+ Salesforce held an Investor Day as part of its Dreamforce conference
+ The Federal Reserve released its Beige Book Report… if you’re into that kinda thing
⏩ Today we’re keeping an eye on…
+ Taiwan Semiconductor, Charles Schwab, U.S. Bancorp, The Bank of New York Mellon, and Travelers report before the bell
+ Interactive Brokers report after hours
+ The US Census Bureau is scheduled to release the September Retail Sales report
Yesterday, I asked, “Is Halloween officially the beginning of ‘the holiday season?’”
56.9% of you said, “No, it's not til Thanksgiving.”
Here’s what some of you guys had to say…
Yes: “If I have to decorate the house, it’s holiday season.”
No, it's not til Thanksgiving: “These stores need to chill with Halloween decorations out in the summer and Christmas decorations out before Halloween.”
Yes: “Halloween is the first holiday where nostalgia really kicks in. Childhood memories, favorite movies, dressing up and it’s also when people start talking about travel plans, family visits, and cozy gatherings. That’s very in tune with how I approach the rest of the holidays: grounded in memory but looking forward to new traditions.”
No, it's not til Thanksgiving: “Halloween is for children and hors. Thanksgiving is for family.”
No, it's not til Thanksgiving: “Fried turkey day and football kick off my holiday season!”
Here’s today’s question…
Which of the major pro sports has the biggest skill gap between GOAT pro athlete and average rec league player?
Oh, and one more thing…
What did you think about today's newsletter?
Sent from my Amazon Fire Phone. Please excuse any mistakes and typos.
Does this look like the face of a guy you should take financial advice from?
No, it’s the face of an individual who is financially irresponsible/dumb enough to be talked into spending money on a family photo shoot that he could have just done with his iPhone. So, act accordingly...
This is not financial advice. Nothing in this newsletter is an investment recommendation. All content is created for entertainment, educational, or informational purposes only. Do your own research, or do yourself a favor and hire a professional.