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Hey there weekday warriors,
Here’s what’s on tap today… Anthropic just pistol-whipped OpenAI, Eli Lilly does it again (read: pistol-whip Novo), and AMD clocks in to reduce shareholder value.
Enjoy the next 3 minutes and 40 seconds of blue-chip news and commentary.
Keep on snapping necks and cashing checks,
Claudes out
“Call an ambulance… but not for me.” - Anthropic, probably
Anthropic just emptied the clip, and it’s not even Sunday yet.
The creators of Claude Cowork (think: the chatbot that’s going to take your job) just pre-released several Super Bowl ads with one goal…
Make Sam Altman cry. Shame OpenAI for making money (read: slinging ads).
Each Super Bowl spot (which, ironically enough, is an ad) features a person having a convo with (presumably) ChatGPT, depicted as a human being, when the ‘chatbot’ character starts sprinkling advertisements into its answers.
Followed by the tag: “Ads are coming to AI. But not to Claude.”
Savage.
Or, just check out the video if you’re more of a visual learner…
Oh, and in case you’ve never bought one, this year’s 30-second Super Bowl ad slots cost a mere $8M…
Oh, and Anthropic confirmed yesterday that Claude would remain ad-free and promised answers won’t be influenced by third parties. To which every Anthropic investor replied… “wait, we won’t?”
OpenAI is expected to advertise at the big game as well, so there’s still time to release their own diss track.
Enjoy another one…
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+ “There can be only one.” - Anthropic Eli Lilly
You might recall that Novo Nordisk $NVO ( ▲ 9.92% ) put on a clinic in how not to run a big pharma company on Monday. Shares fell 14%. And now Eli Lilly $LLY ( ▲ 3.66% ) is rubbing salt in the diabetic wound…
Novo’s little bro posted a yuge beat on the top and bottom lines. Oh, and it offered up 2026 guidance that blew past expectations (think: $80-83B in revenue).
LLY expects strong demand for Mounjaro and Zepbound, plus the launch of its own GLP-1 obesity pill in Q2 (pending FDA approval, of course). Tick, tock, Novo…
+ AMD: “Chip demand is up.”
Also AMD: *Posts weak outlook.*
Seems like AMD $AMD ( ▲ 8.28% ) CEO Lisa Su has a loose grasp of supply/demand.
Friendly reminder, on Tuesday, AMD reported a strong earnings beat but a sad excuse of an outlook compared to expectations (think: a measly $9.8B revenue for Q1).
Lisa defended the forecast yesterday and presumably immediately regretted the decision. Per Lisa, “What I would tell you from someone on the inside is AI is accelerating at a pace that I would not have imagined.”
Still, it just wasn’t enough for AMD stonkholders. Shares fell 16% yesterday.
+ “Save some for the rest of us.” - everyone else who needs Nvidia GPUs
Sundar Pichai has got a fever… and the only prescription is more capex. During its earnings call yesterday, Google $GOOG ( ▼ 2.48% ) said it’s planning to more than double its spending to $185B in 2026.
Speaking of earnings, Alphabet had a yuge Q4. It beat easily on both the top and bottom lines and hit $400B ($403B… but who’s counting?) in annual revenue for the first time ever.
GTFO (Get The F*ck Out of Office)
If you're looking for miles that can go towards escaping your sh*tty job for a few days your dream vacation, you need to take a look at this travel rewards card.
It’s offering a $250 Travel Credit + 75k Bonus Miles (that’s $1,000 towards travel)… which is probably why credit card experts are obsessed with it.
Spoiler: TWC might be compensated if you click on the links above. Hint, hint.
> Oil prices jump after Trump says Iran supreme leader ‘should be very worried’ (CNBC) // Oh, and in case you missed it, the USS Abe Lincoln also shot down an Iranian drone this week… probably nothing.
> Jeff Bezos-owned Washington Post conducts widespread layoffs, gutting a third of its staff (CNN) // “Because my dad told me to.” - Jeffrey Commerce, probably
> Uber reports 20% revenue growth in fourth-quarter, but issues soft profit guidance (CNBC) // In this economy?!
> Eddie Bauer could close all North American stores as parent company eyes bankruptcy (NY Post) // First Saks goes down, now this? No one tell Dennis…
> Private payrolls rose by just 22,000 in January, far short of expectations, ADP says (CNBC) // On the bright side, the official government report is delayed.
> Adobe could do the funniest thing right now…
Yesterday, I asked, “What is the GOATed PepsiCo-owned brand?”
32.0% of you said, “Doritos.”
Here’s what some of you guys had to say…
Gatorade: “An empire built on sugar water for athletes. Incredible.”
Doritos: “Never forget the Doritos commercial with Ali Landry.”
Other: “Ruffles deserve some love. Nothing better for that crack dip on Sunday.”
Doritos: “was gonna write in Fritos - Best chip ever (think they are a pepsico brand) but Doritos are irreplaceable and cant be duplicated”
Mountain Dew: “This is literally powering the Midwest... who in turn creates most of our food.”
Here’s today’s question(s)…
Uber Eats is desperate for some Super Bowl sales... What's your preferred source of food for the big game?
+ US stocks “slipped under the weight of sinking technology stocks. The S&P 500 dipped 0.5% Wednesday, its fifth drop in the last six days. The Dow Jones Industrial Average added 0.5%, and the Nasdaq composite fell 1.5%.” (Yahoo! Finance)
+ The 10-year yield was “little changed Wednesday after initially moving lower in the wake of an unexpectedly lackluster January jobs report.” (CNBC)
+ Oil “prices pared back some of their gains on Wednesday, after a report said nuclear talks between the U.S. and Iran were back on. An earlier update had said the talks had been canceled. Developments between the two nations continued to remain the main driver behind moves.” (Reuters)
+ The “smart” money (prediction markets) thinks there’s a new frontrunner for SpaceX’s ticker: $X… now that US Steel isn’t using it anymore. (Polymarket)
⏪ Yesterday…
+ Uber, Eli Lilly, Novo Nordisk, AbbVie, GE HealthCare, Boston Scientific, T. Rowe Price, UBS Group, CME Group, GlaxoSmithKline, and Phillips 66 reported before the opening bell
+ Alphabet, Qualcomm, Arm Holdings, e.l.f. Beauty, Snap, Symbotic, Coherent, Wolfspeed, Fluence Energy, American Superconductor, and O'Reilly Automotive reported after the bell
⏩ Today we’re keeping an eye on…
+ Shell, Estee Lauder, Bristol-Myers Squibb, Sony, Hershey's, Barrick Mining, Linde, Peloton, Cigna, KKR, ConocoPhillips, and Sirius XM drop earnings before the bell
+ Amazon, MicroStrategy, Reddit, IREN, Roblox, Fortinet, Affirm, Bloom Energy, CleanSpark, Atlassian, Monolithic Power Systems, Microchip Technology, Digital Realty Trust, Bill.com, and Doximity report after hours
+ The European Central Bank will release its policy statement
Oh, and one more thing…
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