TOGETHER WITH
Hey there weekday warriors,
Here’s what’s on tap today… Anthropic just hit the delete key on your job, Zuck doesn’t care who he buys chips from, and Paramount is still a WBD simp.
Enjoy the next 3 minutes and 34 seconds of blue-chip news and commentary.
Keep on snapping necks and cashing checks,
Claude Nowork
Claude Cowork didn’t hear no bell…
Anthropic (think: the final reckoning) can’t stop shipping industry-shattering plugins.
Yesterday, the Pentagon’s #1 frenemy released a set of new plugins and connectors for Claude Cowork that may have your parents rethinking whether that finance degree they made you get was really the “safe” option after all (looking at you, mom and dad…)
Claude’s update allows users to link up with their Google Drive, Gmail, and DocuSign, and deploy plugins that will eradicate whole a** industries make worker bees more productive.
Pour one out for literally anyone who works in the following jobs…
Anthropic’s head of propaganda economics did his best spin doctoring: “The labor market implications are likely to be very uneven, at least for the foreseeable future, much in the same way that past waves of information technology innovation had uneven impacts.”
Live look at society if Dario has his way…
February's packed with excuses to have a drink or 5. But your mornings don't have to suck.
RIP Dry January.
The vibe is immaculate in February (name something better than après-ski… I’ll wait). But the next morning? Not so much.
Enter ZBiotics Pre-Alcohol Probiotic Drink, aka your new wingman.
These absolute legends (PhDs, no less) genetically engineered a probiotic that breaks down acetaldehyde. Translation? "The thing that makes you feel like death after drinking."
It's the first of its kind in the market. Thank you for your service, nerds.
Crack one open before your first drink. It does its thing in your gut while you're doing your thing at the bar. Wake up the next day feeling like a functional human. Revolutionary concept.
Tired of regret and Gatorade?
Grab ZBiotics and use code WATERCOOLEST at zbiotics.com/WATERCOOLEST for 15% off your first order.
And yeah, there's a 100% money-back guarantee. The kind where they actually refund you if you don’t like it. No questions asked.
⚠️ Imagine scrolling by the ad above without supporting ZBiotics. They’re the reason the show goes on. Please show them some love by clicking here and checking them out.
+ These hoes ain’t loyal…
Zuck’s got a fever, and the only prescription is buying chips from literally everyone. Just a week after Meta $META ( ▲ 0.32% ) locked in a deal with Jensen to buy millions of Nvidia $NVDA ( ▲ 0.68% ) semis, he’s back on the market…
Yesterday, the world’s biggest Sweet Baby Ray’s fan announced a new multiyear deal with AMD $AMD ( ▲ 8.77% ) to buy up to 6 gigawatts of GPUs and CPUs (think: about $60B worth of chips). Oh, and bonus detail: the deal also includes a warrant for Meta to acquire 160M AMD shares, roughly 10% of the company…
+ “Congratulations on saying the biggest number, you f*cking morons.” - Netflix, potentially
Paramount $PSKY ( ▼ 1.61% ) is back to doing what it does best (think: pining after the girl who doesn’t want them back). Warner Bros $WBD ( ▲ 0.8% ) reported yesterday that it received an upgraded takeover offer from David Ellison (again).
Friendly reminder that last week, Netflix $NFLX ( ▲ 2.66% ) signed off on allowing WB to re-engage in talks for a deal. If the board likes Davey Nepo-Baby’s new numbers, Netflix will have 4 days to lock in a new bid.
+ New tariffs loading…
After SCOTUS interrupted Donny Economy’s trade war fun, #47 is locking in on a new batch of industries to tariff (is tariff a verb?). As expected, DJT dropped a global 10% tariff yesterday and is working on a new order to up that rate another 5%.
Now the administration is looking at more levies on batteries, iron, plastic piping, chemicals, power grid supplies, and telecom equipment under Section 232 of the Trade Expansion Act of 1962. And suddenly everyone on Twitter is a Section 232 expert…
Tired of regret and Gatorade?
Crack open a ZBiotics before your first drink. It does its thing in your gut while you're doing your thing at the bar. Wake up the next day feeling like a functional human.
Grab ZBiotics and use code WATERCOOLEST at zbiotics.com/WATERCOOLEST for 15% off your first order.
> Apple to move some Mac Mini production to U.S. this year as part of effort to boost domestic manufacturing (CNBC) // Thanks, Clawdbot.
> Payments Processor Stripe Expresses Interest in PayPal (Bloomberg) // Ok, but does PayPal send a Venmo request, or do they process via Stripe?
> FedEx sues US government for ‘full refund’ of Trump tariffs after Supreme Court ruling (NY Post) // It's a bold strategy, Cotton. Let's see if it pays off for them.
> Microsoft and SpaceX’s Starlink partner on global community internet effort (CNBC) // Beef squashed.
> Houses are now an irresponsible purchase…
Yesterday, I asked, “Since Gavin Newsom started it, what'd you guys get on your SAT?”
37.8% of you said, “1200-1399.” I expected wayy worse tbh.
Here’s what some of you guys had to say (and my response in italics)…
Didn’t take the SAT, but I would’ve scored high: “Just here to flex my 32 on the ACT.” I mean… it’s good, but it’s not THAT good.
1200-1399: “Just here wondering how the people in the <1000 range are choosing the right option without more pictures to help them out.” Never forget: they can vote too…
1200-1399: “Answered the essay question by explaining why the Warriors would beat the Cavs in the Finals (took it June 2015) and scored higher on writing than in math and reading.” Test graders deserve entertainment, too.
1000-1199: “Lost my virginity the night before, was pretty sure I scored a 1600 and could fly walking out of the building.” Should have received an honorary 1600.
1400-1600: “Only 5% score above 1400 on the SAT, but 11.6% of Water Coolest readers claim to have done so. That tells me we are very smart or have vastly inflated images of ourselves.” Imagine doubting the intelligence and integrity of TWC readers…
Here’s today’s question(s)…
Forget which of these AI guys is gonna take over the world. Which one of them would you most want to have a beer with?
+ US stocks “rose Tuesday, with software stocks leading the charge as Wall Street as worries over AI disruptions eased ahead of Nvidia (NVDA) earnings this week.” (Yahoo! Finance)
+ The 10-year yield “was little changed on Tuesday as investors parsed the latest twists in President Donald Trump’s tariff policy following a Supreme Court setback, while also bracing for his State of the Union address later in the day.” (CNBC)
+ Oil “closed down 1% on Tuesday after Iran said it was prepared to take any necessary steps to reach a nuclear deal with the U.S., after weeks of increased military deployment by the U.S. in the Middle East.” (Reuters)
+ The “smart” money (prediction markets) thinks that there’s only a 12% chance BitBoy gets convicted for threatening a judge. (Polymarket)
⏪ Yesterday…
+ Home Depot, Constellation Energy, Cipher Mining, DigitalOcean, American Tower, and NRG Energy dropped earnings before the bell
+ MercadoLibre, Realty Income, Tempus AI, Zeta Global, Navitas Semiconductor, TransMedics, CAVA, Axon, HP, First Solar, Lucid Group, Workday, Abcellera, and Godaddy reported after hours
+ Apple held its annual meeting
+ The Conference Board released its latest consumer confidence report
⏩ Today we’re keeping an eye on…
+ Circle Internet Group, Lowe's, Recursion Pharmaceuticals, TJX, Hut 8 Corp., and Aspen Aerogels report before the opening bell
+ Nvidia, Salesforce, Snowflake, IONQ, Nu Holdings, Trade Desk, Joby Aviation, Synopsys, C3 Ai, Zoom, VICI, Redwire, Pure Storage, Honest Company, Sezzle, Procept Biorobotics, Trip.com, Enovix, Root, Sterling Construction, Teladoc, Paramount, and Heico report after hours
+ Samsung holds its Galaxy Unpacked event
+ Lumen Technologies will hold its Investor Day
Oh, and one more thing…
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Sent from my Amazon Fire Phone. Please excuse any mistakes and typos.
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