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Hey there weekday warrior,
Here’s what’s on tap today… Anthropic is cashmaxxing on the way to IPO, OpenAI and Apple are (still) beefing over spies, and September PPI and CPI are hotter than the new Novig ad.
Now, enjoy the next 3 minutes and 39 seconds of blue-chip news and commentary.
Keep on snapping necks and cashing checks,
C.R.E.A.M.
Scam Altman: *”misleads” everyone about OpenAI’s annual revenue*
Meanwhile, Dario Amodei:
Anthropic just sent pre-IPO investors from six to midnight with this one simple trick.
The make of Claude did $16.8B in revenue last quarter. Turns out prompting “make money printer go brrr… make no mistakes” actually works…
(Source: trust me bro an investor who sat in on a pre-IPO pitch this week.)
Quick math: that’s up 45% from the quarter before. Let’s review: Q1 = $4.7B, Q2 = $11.6B, Q3 = $16.8B.
The Super Dario Bros. are still targeting an IPO valuation north of $2T, and are waiting till after the midterms to take their talent to Wall Street, which is probably fair.
Same, same but different…
Meanwhile, @sama is training employees on the dangers of “honeypot” schemes involving foreign spies…
Oh, and dealing with an actual employee getting arrested for bugging executive conference rooms.
So… different vibe.
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+ Speaking of SpyGPT…
OpenAI whined filed a complaint in court that a former employee had emailed himself triple-digit numbers of confidential files pertaining to a certain unreleased OpenAI device, then briefed Apple $AAPL ( ▼ 0.28% ) execs on Sam’s hardware plans.
Timeline: homie worked at Apple, did six months at ChatGPT, then went back to Apple. Files went out after midnight on his last day…
+ The team-up we deserve.
Johnny Appleseed and Zuck appear to be broing down harder than Donny and Elon circa 2024.
Apple and Meta $META ( ▼ 0.11% ) announced their first public deal since the year of our Lord 2017. Meta’s new open-weight Muse Spark Open can run locally on high-end Mac setups. Which is a big deal for nerds, probably.
Oh, but it’ll only work if you cluster 2-4 of Apple’s fastest computers to run it… which cost ~$11k apiece…
Sign me up.
+ Fuel around and find out…
Wholesale prices ripped 6.3% over the last year, the biggest annual gain PPI has seen since 2022, and wayyy hotter than the econ majors were expecting.
September PPI was up 1.3%, more than double expectations.
And we got some not-so-great CPI data Wednesday, too…
September CPI jumped 0.6%, bringing the annual figure to 3.7%. Even core CPI was up to 2.6%, so tell your boss your cost-of-living raise better be sweet.
So what’s wrong with the economy?
Not to be a downer or anything, but fuel jumped another 15% in September and is up 74% over the last 12 months. So, that.
Imagine The Economist had a drunken love child with a meme page.
That's The Pint, our slightly unhinged British cousins from across the pond.
Their chronically online (and slightly unhinged) team breaks down the week's politics and business so you don't have to — then turns it into a meme-mail read by over 20,000 people.
Every Friday. Free.
Well worth it, I promise.
> Waymo robotaxis’ collision rate drops 41% in LA County // GTA VI better have Waymos in it.
> (Wednesday) Netflix to lay off roughly 1,000 employees, or 6% of workforce // Skydance be like…
> (Tuesday) Domino’s growth slows amid broader slump in pizza sales // Maybe Starbucks can step in...
> (Tuesday) JPMorgan records rare earnings miss, Goldman Sachs delivers blowout revenue in mixed quarter // Solomon: 1, Dimon: 0
> (Tuesday) Bank of America fined $1.2 billion over money laundering violations // Meanwhile at BofA...
> (Tuesday) Pharma bro Martin Shkreli broke lifetime ban on drug-industry trades, feds say // Somebody call Nathan Fielder.
> (Monday) Starbucks Says It’s Not Buying Chipotle, Dousing Deal Rumors // *GameStop has entered the chat*
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On Friday, I asked, “The worst possible emergency bathroom situation would be caused by a Starbucks merging with…”
65% of you said, “Taco Bell.” Landslide victory…
Here’s what some of you guys had to say (and my response in italics)…
Taco Bell: “Pumpkin Spice Crunchwrap Supreme and a venti Doritos Loco latte with 3 pumps of Diablo sauce. PE shops are already increasing the multiplier on their offers to service plumbers.” Yes, chef.
KFC: “I saw two sets of footprints in the sand, mine and Jesus. I noticed during my worst days there was only one set of footprints. I asked Jesus why are there only one set of prints after I ate KFC? He said, ‘I was carrying you to the bathroom.’” Hall of Fame comment.
Taco Bell: “Never understood the Chipotle shit-your-pants meme when Taco Bell has delivered function-ruining sharts to the American people since 1997.” Imagine how T Bell feels having their legacy stolen by the pretender to the (porcelain) throne.
Chipotle: “Colon Blow 5,000.” Patent pending.
Taco Bell: “In my town, years ago, a disgruntled employee shat in the beans (for real). Yes, they were served (not to me).” Pretty sure urban legends happen in every town by definition…
Here’s today’s question(s)…
ICYMI, this ad happened to all of us…
Does this look remotely useful?
+ US stocks drifted lower Monday (S&P 500: -0.1%) and Tuesday (S&P 500: -0.02%) on bank earnings and a chip selloff, cratered Wednesday (S&P 500: -1.1%) after September CPI ran hot at 3.7% and sent traders scrambling to price in a Fed hike, then bounced back Thursday (S&P 500: +0.3%) as AI jitters faded and yields sank. Overreaction much?
+ The 10-year yield hovered near 5.24% into midweek, whipsawed on Wednesday’s hot CPI as December hike odds jumped, then fell Thursday as the dollar backed off and rate-hike bets eased.
+ Oil climbed most of the week to two-week-plus highs on attacks against Saudi Arabia (including Aramco’s HQ) and fresh Iranian tanker threats, holding its gains Thursday on a big US crude draw. Ouch.
+ The “smart” money (prediction markets) thinks there’s a 94% chance we get GTA VI before Thanksgiving. (Polymarket)
Oh, and one more thing….
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