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Hey there weekday warrior,
Here’s what’s on the agenda today…
At this rate, Intel CEO Lip Bu Tan might be TIME’s Person of the Year, the PPI report was brutal, and Warren Buffett makes a big bet on UnitedHealth.
Enjoy the next 4 minutes and 11 seconds of blue-chip news and commentary.
Keep on snapping necks and cashing checks,
PS, loving The Water Coolest? Forward it to someone who just watched the New Heights podcast for the first time. If you CC me ([email protected]), I’ll send you both something.
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But now, yeah, I’m thinking I’m back
Intel CEO Lip Bu Tan just came back from the equivalent of a 28-3 deficit at the half…
At the beginning of the week, this guy had a one-way ticket to Guantánamo Bay for treason… and now it looks like he not only secured his job, but I’m pretty sure he’s going to be the godfather of Barron Trump’s firstborn…
Bloomberg reported yesterday that the US government is reportedly considering taking a stake in Intel $INTC ( ▼ 2.77% ) *record scratch*.
A (recent) history lesson…
You might recall that last week, Republican lawmakers and, eventually, the sitting President, were calling for Lip Bu Tan to be tarred and feathered. Tan’s ties to the Chinese military emerged, which led to POTUS calling for him to step down as CEO of the US chipmaker.
Lip called the allegations fake news (which is exactly what a Chinese spy would do, for the record)… and he was promptly summoned to the White House. Not long after the meeting, the President praised the CEO, calling him a great “success” (presumably in his best Borat voice).
And then, just when you thought this guy’s week couldn’t possibly get any better, rumors began to swirl that Uncle Sam was eyeing a stake in the company.
In case you were wondering…
No, it’s not normal for the federal government to buy stonk without some sort of extenuating circumstances forcing their hand. Think: 2008. But the land of the free has added some holdings to its Robinhood account as of late. Like MP Materials $MP ( ▼ 3.25% ). It took a $400M stake in the United States’ only rare earth miner.
And welp, Intel certainly fits the “it’s paramount to national security” justification. INTC is currently the only American-owned chipmaker with a foundry (read: factory) capable of producing the most advanced semiconductors… kinda (friendly reminder: it’s not exactly operational yet). An investment could help fast-track America’s chip independence. Well, that, or Intel could think of a new way to f*ck this up spectacularly.
Speaking of which… at least Uncle Sam would be buying the f*cking dip. Shares have gotten crushed after a series of mishaps, like botching development for the latest and greatest chips and pissing away billions on the aforementioned factory biz.
Learn from this investor’s $100m mistake
In 2010, a Grammy-winning artist passed on investing $200K in an emerging real estate disruptor. That stake could be worth $100+ million today.
One year later, another real estate disruptor, Zillow, went public. This time, everyday investors had regrets, missing pre-IPO gains.
Now, a new real estate innovator, Pacaso – founded by a former Zillow exec – is disrupting a $1.3T market. And unlike the others, you can invest in Pacaso as a private company.
Pacaso’s co-ownership model has generated $1B+ in luxury home sales and service fees, earned $110M+ in gross profits to date, and received backing from the same VCs behind Uber, Venmo, and eBay. They even reserved the Nasdaq ticker PCSO.
Paid advertisement for Pacaso’s Regulation A offering. Read the offering circular at invest.pacaso.com. Reserving a ticker symbol is not a guarantee that the company will go public. Listing on the NASDAQ is subject to approvals.
+ This is why we can’t have nice things…
Just a day after the Consumer Price Index came in slightly below expectations and conviction in a rate cut mooned more than my parents’ disappointment when I came out as a newsletter writer, we got some brutal inflation news. CPI’s blue-collar brother that went to trade school and wears Carhartt with white Oakleys (read: the Producer Price Index) came in wayyy above the Street’s guesstimates. It appears the ex-BLS Chief found a new job already…
Manufactured goods prices jumped 0.9% for the month. The smartest guys in the room were expecting just 0.2%. This is a BFD, considering PPI can be an earlier indicator of price hikes that will trickle down to consumers. Oh, and more importantly, the PPI is one of the data points used to calculate the PCE, aka the inflation print the Fed relies on to set rates.
+ Good news for the kinda people who measure their nighttime er*ctions like Bryan Johnson…
Apple $AAPL ( ▼ 0.25% ) announced a Watch update that literally no one asked for. Instead of delivering on its AI promises, Apple developed a redesigned blood oxygen monitor for the Apple Watch that’s available via a watchOS update.
You might remember that medical device maker Masimo claimed that the watches’ tech infringed on its IP back in 2023… and the International Trade Commission agreed. That meant AAPL had to disable the tech. But a recent US ruling made it possible for Tim Apple to get back into the blood oxygen game.
+ And for that reason, I’m out…
Kellogg’s, $K, becomes first company to sign legally binding agreement removing toxic dyes from cereals
— #unusual_whales (#@unusual_whales)
5:08 PM • Aug 14, 2025
+ Luigi Mangione would like a word…
We finally found out what Warren Buffett’s massive, previously unannounced new stake is in: UnitedHealth $UNH ( ▲ 3.3% ). Last quarter, the Oracle of Omaha took a $1.6B stake in the health insurer, which has tumbled more than 50% in the year of our lord 2025.
And he wasn’t alone. As 13-Fs started coming in, it looks like plenty of hedgies had the same idea (read: BTFD). Even the notoriously bearish Michael Burry took a bet on United.
+ Kodak $KODK ( ▼ 5.29% ) would like everyone to know the rumors of its demise have been greatly exaggerated…
The film company told investors not to worry about the note in its 10-Q about not having “committed financing or available liquidity” to meet debt obligations. Turns out they’re going to pay it off with a windfall they’ll be receiving from their pension plan termination. Which is kinda like being poor but winning your rent money on a scratch-off one time and just assuming that’s going to happen for the rest of your life…
+ US stocks “mostly stalled on Thursday as Wall Street digested a much hotter-than-expected PPI inflation print, souring optimism around a large September rate cut.” (Yahoo! Finance)
+ The 10-year yield “ticked higher Thursday after new U.S. data pointed to persistent wholesale inflation.” (CNBC)
+ Oil “prices climbed about 2% to a one-week high on Thursday after U.S. President Donald Trump warned of "severe consequences" if his talks with Russian President Vladimir Putin on Ukraine fail, and on optimism that a likely U.S. interest rate cut next month could spur oil demand.” (Reuters)
+ The “smart” money (prediction markets) thinks there’s a 19% chance Waymo will be operating in 5 cities (that’s one more than they are currently) at the end of 2025. (Kalshi)
⏪ Yesterday…
+ JD.com and Deere reported before the open
+ Nu, Applied Materials, Quantum Computing, Nano Nuclear Energy, KULR, and Bit Digital reported after the bell
+ Madden 2026 dropped
+ 13-F season got underway
⏩ Today we’re keeping an eye on…
+ July Retail Sales drops
Yesterday, I asked, “Hotel checkouts: do you just bounce or do you stop by the front desk to return your “key”?”
55.3% of you said “I just leave.“
Here’s what some of you guys had to say…
I just leave: “I came here to cast my vote on business suck travel reality and see how many people actually go up to the front desk while leaving. Wow, America. Wow! (There’s an app for that…)
I stop at the front desk: “I feel like it helps give housekeeping a heads up and avoid awkward knocks. I am also sometimes the dude who they are waiting on as I check out 10-15 minutes late finishing emails and PowerPoints. Survey idea: ask how many people actually tip housekeeping.” Done.
I stop at the front desk: “Reduce, reuse, and recycle”
I just leave: “I Spend 75-100 nights, I’ve asked they don’t care”
I stop at the front desk: “It's better for everyone if they know they can start cleaning the room. Maybe a room will be ready earlier for me next time.”
Here’s today’s question…
I can’t stop watching the video of this guy throwing a Subway sandwich at a federal officer. What a dumb*ss…
Got me thinking…
If you had to have one sandwich brand thrown at you, which would it be?
Oh, and one more thing…
What did you think about today's newsletter?
Sent from my Amazon Fire Phone. Please excuse any mistakes and typos.
Does this look like the face of a guy you should take financial advice from?
No, it’s the face of an individual who is financially irresponsible/dumb enough to be talked into spending money on a family photo shoot that he could have just done with his iPhone. So, act accordingly...
This is not financial advice. Nothing in this newsletter is an investment recommendation. All content is created for entertainment, educational, or informational purposes only. Do your own research, or do yourself a favor and hire a professional.