Today we’re discussing the luxury brand trading at a fat discount. Plus, DJT’s yuge, glorious, day (… I’ve been told they’ve never seen a day like this before).

Enjoy the next 4 minutes and 24 seconds of blue-chip news and commentary.

Keep on snapping necks and cashing checks,

- tyler

+ US stocks “gained ground Monday as investors wagered that presidential candidate Donald Trump is now more likely to reclaim the White House after an unsuccessful assassination attempt strengthened his chances of victory.” (Yahoo! Finance)

+ The 10-year Treasury yield “wavered on Monday as investors weighed the effect of the assassination attempt on former U.S. President Donald Trump and analyzed comments from Federal Reserve Chair Jerome Powell." (CNBC)

+ Oil “eased on Monday as worries about demand in top importer China offset supportive U.S. economic news, OPEC+ supply restraint and ongoing Middle East tensions.” (Reuters)

+ Bitcoin “rallied Monday after former President Donald Trump's odds of retaking the White House jumped following an assassination attempt on Saturday. Bitcoin rebounded above $63,000 to its highest price since the beginning of July.” (IBD)

+ The three most talked about stocks on WallStreetBets in the past 24 hours were: 1) Trump Media +31.3% 2) Nvidia -0.6% 3) Tesla +1.7%

The market moves you need to know about…

+ What a strange time to be alive. Following the events on Saturday, some investors wagered that a Trump White House would be bullish for publicly traded prison companies. I mean, someone’s gotta build the ICE detention centers, right? Shares of Geo Group jumped 9.3% on the day.

– Celsius had a case of the Mondays. The energy drink maker, which is already dealing with concerns about stalling growth, got hit with an analyst downgrade and a WSJ exposé claiming that its health benefits might be overblown (shocker). CELH fell 10.6% on the day.

The Brits on Sunday: “It can’t get much worse than it not coming home…”

Burberry on Monday: “Hold my beer…”

Shares of Burberry got crushed during trading in London yesterday. And, believe it or not, it had nothing to do with people realizing that Burberry’s entire market cap hinges on the popularity of one stupid f*cking plaid pattern…

The stock crumbled 16% after it decided to pull the band-aid when reporting its quarterly results.

First, it said if it doesn’t get its sh*t together (read: rich people don’t start spending more money) it will likely report an operating loss in the first half of the year. And its full-year forecast will be in real danger.

But wait, it gets so much worse…

Burberry “stepped down” its CEO Jonathan Akeroyd effective immediately… which really sucks because he won’t have time to abuse his employee discount before his email stops working. He’ll be replaced by Joshua Schulman, the former head of Michael Kors and Coach.

Oh, and before investors could say “well, at least they didn’t take our divide—”, the company axed its dividend.

Burberry has been buried by a slowdown in luxury shopping across its major markets. Plus, it’s dealing with a bit of an identity crisis as it attempts to re-establish itself as a more exclusive brand.

So it’s definitely just going to get gobbled up by LVMH, right?

+ Ronald Reagan missed a huge opportunity, not having a massive stake in a media and technology company…

Because it appears that assassination attempts are good for biz. On the first trading day after the attempt on his life over the weekend, shares of Trump Media & Technology were up 31%. Analysts and retail traders believe what happened increases the odds that #45 is re-elected, which bodes well for $DJT.

+ This means Goldman’s board is going to let DJ D-Sol remix ‘Looking for a man in finance’ with the Chainsmokers, doesn’t it?

After Citi, JPMorgan, and Wells reported pathetic earnings, Goldman (+2.5%) dropped an absolute banger of a quarterly report on Monday. Its big beat was a perfect storm of strength in investment banking and trading and retreating from consumer products (Imagine dealing with peasants…).

+ Macy’s just pulled out of takeover talks with two activist investors, claiming they have insufficient funds. Shots fired. Shares of Macy’s fell 11.7% on the day, which should make Arkhouse and Brigade’s job easier when they inevitably launch a proxy fight.

+ Salt-n-pepper hair and a rate cut. Salt-n-pepper hair and a rate cut (I watched this, so now you do too).

During a Q&A on Monday, J-Poww said, “if you wait until inflation gets all the way down to 2%, you’ve probably waited too long.” This is good news for the ‘emergency rate cuts now’ crowd, especially following the Fed Chair’s commentary last week.

+ Nothing gets by the internet. NOTHING. Less than 24 hours after the Trump assassination attempt, internet sleuths discovered that the scumbag murderer (whose name will never taint TWC) made an appearance in a 30-second BlackRock (yes, that BlackRock) ad spot. Turns out he appeared briefly during a feature on one of his former teachers. For the record, BlackRock pulled the ad down.

+ Amazon CEO says this ability separates successful careers from stagnant ones: ‘You have to be ravenous’. Spoiler: you need to piss in bottles so you don’t have to take breaks.

+ ‘Massive’ housing bubble about to burst in this US region, warns a real estate expert — see where.

+ 8 Most Undervalued States To Buy or Invest in Property This Year, According to Real Estate Experts.

🔥 Real estate investors are snapping up a record number of homes—especially in these 5 affordable cities. There’s no Whole Foods… yet.

⏪ Yesterday we were keeping an eye on earnings from Goldman. Plus, J-Poww’s speech at the Economic Club of Washington. Check out all the details above.

⏩ Today we’re keeping an eye on…

+ United Health Group, Bank of America, Morgan Stanley, Progressive, and PNC report before the bell

+ Interactive Brokers announces earnings after the close

+ June retail sales data drops

+ Amazon Prime Day(s) kicks off... which means pretty much every retailer is offering deals. Do what you do best, America.

Yesterday, I asked, “Is the English men’s national team the most cursed team ever?”

A lot of you said “yup” but were quick to point out that the US men’s soccer team also kinda sucks. My counterpoint would be, well, yes, but we didn’t invent the game…

Also, lots of long-suffering Buffalo Bills fans think they have it much worse. Which is fair…

Here’s today’s question…

This National Anthem may be the worst thing that happened to the US this week…

🔥 Facebook Marketplace does not miss…

Bullish…

Oh, and one more thing…

Does this look like the face of a guy you should take financial advice from?

No, it’s the face of an individual who is financially irresponsible/dumb enough to be talked into spending money on a family photo shoot that he could have just done with his iPhone. So, act accordingly...

This is not financial advice. Nothing in this newsletter is an investment recommendation. All content is created for entertainment, educational, or informational purposes only. Do your own research, or do yourself a favor and hire a professional.